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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh is in the great British towel throw down challenge...

193 replies

Chlorinatedfrontbum · 31/07/2016 20:32

but doesn't know it. A towel was dropped on the bedroom floor 2 days ago. It's still there. I've entered him into the challenge to see when it gets picked up, but not told him. AIBU?

OP posts:
Goingtobeawesome · 01/08/2016 19:46

Betty - I won't pick up the washing if you don't move the glasses. Deal?

Stargirl82 · 01/08/2016 19:48

Sooo I may win with this one. DH bought a cat June 2015 and bought a nice little brush for ds1 to groom the cat with. He left it on the living room floor under ds1s easel. It's still there. 14 months!! I have mentioned that it's still there but it just seems to go in one ear and out the other. I've even dusted it!!

DrMorbius · 01/08/2016 19:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 01/08/2016 19:52

Ha bloody ha DrM.

ZansForCans · 01/08/2016 19:54

What's your achievement DrM that justifies your DW's backroom efforts? Winding up MNers is a skilled job of course, but not really world-beating.

nennyrainbow · 01/08/2016 19:54

I had a similar stand off over a half eaten bowl of porridge which DH left on the worktop half eaten. 1 day, 2 days, 3 days, a week went by. It got covered in mould. After 2 weeks I caved and pointed it out to him by this time a big furry green and black mass which stank. "Oh, is it mine?"
DH is the only porridge eater in this house.

Sherbetdip1 · 01/08/2016 20:00

I have learnt with my DH that I have to play him at his own game. I have to inconvenience him and irritate him for him to realise how annoying his habits are. For example, he used to clean his ears with those ear bud sticky things and then leave the used bud on the bathroom shelf - right over the bin. Now I don't mind emptying the bathroom bin as I agreed to take on the majority of household duties (I dropped to part-time after dd was born) but I am no ones skivvy and that is damn right lazy. Now, first of all I told him it was annoying me in a polite and calm manner - didn't work. Then I shouted at him in an arguement - didn't work. So Iv never mentioned it again....but what I did do for about two weeks is remove said earbud from the shelf and put it in all manner of annoying places eg) on his pillow, in his lunch box for work, in his football boots etc etc. I have never found a stray one since. Similarly, when he doesn't open his post/leaves piles of paperwork lying around? The three conversations we had didn't work so I accidentally "lost" a big pile of it a few months ago...which just happened to contain some very important tickets. He searched high and low for a good few hours until I "remembered" where I had put the pile...

Again, more than happy to be a "housewife"...skivvy...nope!

Original poster
Chlorinatedfrontbum · 01/08/2016 20:07

Ok. Towel still there.

But now, in the kitchen, is a letter and envelope that he discarded this afternoon, on the worktop.

I'm not moving it. Anyone care to raise their bids?

Man I'm so frickin fed up with this shit. I know I'm making light of it, but it really is bloody depressing Sad

OP posts:
BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 01/08/2016 20:07

The thing is, unless you are going to carry your damp towel /dirty socks /used teaspoon around with you all day, you have to put them down somewhere.
So why not put them on towel rail / laundry basket / dishwasher?

dorisdog · 01/08/2016 20:09

I'm sure someone has already said this, but you need to hide all the other towels ;-)

GeorgeTheThird · 01/08/2016 20:11

Fuck off Dr M.

Part of you believes that, or you wouldn't do it.

dorisdog · 01/08/2016 20:17

Also, (and I'm not necessarily advocating this as a tactic ;-)) we once had a house mate who never washed up. We ended up removing their dirty plates and cups to their bed, under the duvet.

sherbertdip1 amazing :-)

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/08/2016 20:17

Man I'm so frickin fed up with this shit. I know I'm making light of it, but it really is bloody depressing OK, all joking aside. I'm the 'your DH' in all of this. The only reason I ever do anything (except cooking, which I like) is because I really love my DH and I know how he feels. Because he told me. He has said, "when you leave your plate on top of the dishwasher, a tiny bit of me dies. I feel that you don't care about the work I do because if you did, I think you would do more."

He's at the beach and I'm doing two loads of laundry, MNing, emptying the dishwasher and washing the filthy stuff in the sink. I should do things because I'm an adult. I actually do them because I love DH.

I'm off to empty the stupid dishwasher. I hope you're all happy Grin

DrM, perhaps you could put your shit in the right place to prove you're not an enormous fuckweasel...

OhtoblazeswithElvira · 01/08/2016 20:18

bee put it all in bin bags, then put the bin bags in your garage or somewhere where you can't see them so they won't annoy you. Your DH can deal with his stuff from bin bags.

Packergator · 01/08/2016 20:25

I'm with Moo; mutually low standards re: habitation saves a lot of arguments in our house! I appreciate this approach isn't ideal for everyone...

blueamberuk · 01/08/2016 20:50

I am so lucky - mine was boarding school then army trained. He puts things straight away tidy, has neat boxes for socks, boxers etc all neat in the wardrobe, does things round the house buy not DIY as he is worse than me, can iron better than me etc. However, he leaves all his camera and teccie stuff all over the place and then "loses" it and swears that I have moved it and gets quite stroppy that he didnt touch it then will not apologise when HE finds it. Worst of all he does not tell me he has found it so Im worrying and searching for it myself!!

Mix56 · 01/08/2016 21:08

blueamberuk. I hear you
Dr M. you are a Dork, & presumably laughing, but alone.

AgentPineapple · 01/08/2016 21:09

Are all men like this!? My DH is exactly the same. He takes his contacts out once he's in bed and just chucks them in the floor. They get trod on and I find them everywhere.. Yuck!! I have asked him a million times to put them in the bin, even leave him a wee bin bag next to his bed to make it easy, but no still little piles of them everywhere and he leaves the wee contact packets all over the bathroom and living room fireplace still with the contact solution in them so that it spills when I pick them up!Angry this is one of many irritating things he does and won't be told

PickAChew · 01/08/2016 21:16

Biggest boy is a work in progress on this front. We have made very little progress as his dad very ably manages to miss the laundry basket unless the object intended for the basket is wet, in which case it makes it right in there, making everything even smellier than it already is.

DH definitely did not teach him to throw his socks onto the top of the curtain rail, though. I have been very explicit about them not being on top of the curtain rail Hmm Thankfully, they are no longer on top of the curtain rail and nor are the socks that have missed the curtain rail several days running down behind the bog, any moreAngry

bobbymc · 01/08/2016 21:25

I just put the kids to bed. As I was leaving the bathroom there was a little infant size 12 sock on my floor. I looked at it and asked whose is this? My 6yo said 'sorry mummy I dropped it'. He genuinely had dropped it as he was carrying his clothes to the basket.

He's 6. He can't read or write properly.

But he knows where dirty clothes go.

It's because I've taught them over the course of their lives that there is no laundry fairy. I wasn't cross with the cute little sock on the floor. But even he knew if it was left there then the dog might get it, or it wouldn't get washed.

In order to teach them not to leave wrappers around I instructed them to say loudly 'stuff you mummy - I don't care about you'. Job done.

I'm sure there'll be regression but fuck me if my DIL is writing this shit in years to come I'll feel like I've absolutely failed. Next to the bloody basket? Fuck that.

dorisdog · 01/08/2016 21:38

It kind of fascinates (and depresses) me that these threads and conversation even exist. I've never expected to clean up after a man (or any other house mates). I think it's because my Dad (also ex army) always did a fair share of housework - even taught me how to iron and wash up when I was little. So much of it is learned when kids are young, I think.

My partner and I have had disagreements over housework, but I always began with the assumption that no-one should deliberately leave shit for you to clean up if they love and respect you. It turned out my partner (a few years younger) just hadn't had a much practice as me at running a house, and it took a few conversations to make it happen, but we've worked out a system that works! Took a few months, though. We also have a 'Sunday house meeting' for half hour - I swear by that as a way to be able to raise issues that aren't in the heat of the moment.

tootiredforthissh1t · 01/08/2016 21:48

Place marking and rooting for you OP

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 01/08/2016 22:22

Reading threads like this makes me appreciate my DH more than ever.

janey77 · 01/08/2016 23:02

I've done this with washing up....cracked after 3 days cos it was getting out if hand and he hadn't even noticed allegedly Angry

TinyPawz · 02/08/2016 01:14

It's all picture and no sound in my house because of stuff like this at the minute. Not a fun house / way to live.

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