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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find some men's reaction VERY strange?

28 replies

zoobeedoo · 31/07/2016 11:58

I am 6 months pregnant. Trying very hard to stay active, dress nicely, be careful over weight gain etc. So look reasonable but I am obviously very pregnant. But - I am very very shocked at the amount of perving being done by random men in the street. I'm an alright looking lady, had my fair share of male attention before hand, but this is ridiculous. Even to the point my nine year old son has noticed, and growled at a leery builder the other day for staring at my boobs because he is getting a bit sick of it. Is this a thing? Do pregnant ladies get perved on? I think it's rank!! I've never felt more unsexy!

OP posts:
Noonesfool · 31/07/2016 12:00

Women get perved over.

Good on your 9 year old for growling - keep teaching him it is not ok to perv over women without their express permission.

hazeimcgee · 31/07/2016 12:02

I guess unfortunatly and unreasonably if you have larger boobs due to pregnancy they are likely to get leered at more. Also some men really find pregnant women hot.

Sorry you're being made to feel uncomfortable especially at this time.m x

teafortoads · 31/07/2016 12:02

I also found this happened. It's vile!

Paulat2112 · 31/07/2016 12:03

Stealth boast? :p

Original poster
zoobeedoo · 31/07/2016 12:05

He embarrassed that man so much, it was great! I've told him to remember just how angry it made him feel, that it's not a way for a good man to behave.

OP posts:
Original poster
zoobeedoo · 31/07/2016 12:06

Paula - haha well maybe a little.....! But a genuine question.

OP posts:
Noonesfool · 31/07/2016 12:06

Good for you, zoo - the parents of boys have an opportunity to end that kind of shit.

EastMidsMummy · 31/07/2016 12:32

It's not unreasonable or strange for men to find pregnant women attractive. It's unreasonable for them to make pregnant women feel uncomfortable about that.

LindyHemming · 31/07/2016 12:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

timelytess · 31/07/2016 12:38

Oh yes. Men love pregnancy. Proof positive you've been doing it with someone and now you ought to do it with them. They have this 'collective' thing going on, until they think a woman 'belongs' to them and then suddenly there's no 'collective' at all.

FuckitsAndSpades · 31/07/2016 12:39

"perving" and leering is always out of order

However I do think it's quite normal for a lot of men to find pregnant women extra attractive.

Finding someone attractive does not in any way justify leering or peeving.

But the actual attraction I think is quite normal

FuckitsAndSpades · 31/07/2016 12:41

Stealth boast? :p
oh yeah she sounds like she LOVED IT really Hmm

FuckitsAndSpades · 31/07/2016 12:43

Proof positive you've been doing it with someone and now you ought to do it with them.

maybe for some, but I don't think it's always so sinister

DP never found pregnancy particularly hot until I had a couple of pregnancies, now we both have fond memories of our turbo boosted pregnancy sex life, so now he does find it attractive.

BillSykesDog · 31/07/2016 12:43

No YANBU! I have noticed this too.

My last pregnancy I had very, very bad SPD and put on a lot of weight and, no, didn't happen. This time around I've had problems being sick and have actually lost weight so look a bit more attractive anyway and, yes, I have really been perved at. It's only a hardcore of men, but it's unpleasant and obvious.

Heatherplant · 31/07/2016 12:45

Out of a 10 I'm a 3.5, maybe a 4 with make up on. Never had a problem with being pestered in the street due to the above but suddenly after having DS 1 I became a target. Good on your 9 year old! I think there is a bit of an urban myth about pregnant ladies being 'up for it' due to the hormones and also men like that seem to see a vulnerability and target it.

AudreyBradshaw · 31/07/2016 12:50

I'm 6 months pregnant and have only noticed a couple of side looks, but thats probably more to do with me looking like a disgruntled sweaty moomin.

Poor you though, and good on your son. Leering and perving is awful behaviour.

IJustAteTheKidsFoodAgain · 31/07/2016 12:54

I put on four stone while pregnant so no one perved on the limping sweaty ball I became BUT I think pregnant women are very attractive so often stare unintentionally. Disclaimer - I am straight

JohnLithgowsLargeForehead · 31/07/2016 13:05

I've heard about this before.. Like others have said I think it's because it's visually obvious you've had sex Confused and also maybe deep down biologically a bit of wanting to compete to impregnate you Grin I have no idea, but no-one should be making anyone feel uncomfortable with their perving and well done your son! Smile

Original poster
zoobeedoo · 31/07/2016 13:10

I think we should be pre warned, in your bounty pack or something - just a little leaflet saying 'watch out for the pervs!' My OH finds me extra attractive and I get that, the extra curves, the vulnerability, the new life, the bond etc etc. But I genuinely never expected the creepy street perving and it didn't happen first time round as I had pre eclampsia and looked like Jabba the Hut. So genuinely surprised by this, and glad its not just me - sorry others who are putting up with it too!!

OP posts:
Original poster
zoobeedoo · 31/07/2016 13:13

I am at present in bed eating salt and vinegar squares with my boobs stuck to my baby bump and wondering how the fuck could anyone find this sexy???

OP posts:
LovePGtipsMonkey · 31/07/2016 13:27

it's definitely not all men - those who find any extra weight a turn-off actually go off their wives while they are pg. But the big boobs brigade will perv - it's not because you are pg, for most men it's because the (other) curves are big and noticeable.

thecatsarecrazy · 31/07/2016 13:42

I know of a bloke who's well known for being a bit of a weirdo anyway, but he has asked lots of pregnant women out. Sometimes when their partners have been stood next to them. The mind boggles. I'm 12 weeks and poor dh has only had any once I cant even bare to kiss at the moment

brambly · 31/07/2016 15:49

Very common I think - the leering is obviously out of line and pretty rank, but the attraction to pregnant women is definitely a thing and even as a woman so straight it's almost tedious, I do get it.

Have known a lot of men ranging in age from adolescent to ancient and from all sorts of social and cultural backgrounds who have mentioned finding pregnant women very attractive - even one or two who consistently like their women rake-thin.

FuckitsAndSpades · 31/07/2016 15:54

I'm a terribly bump leerer myself when I'm broody, I try to contain it and not come across as a creep/psycho.

Justmeagain78 · 01/08/2016 12:35

Am feeling left out now - I was never perved at!!! Mind you I did look like a bungalow with legs - some women do manage to look so glamorous when preggers!