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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To spend my money this way?

95 replies

facepalming · 31/07/2016 08:14

I'm about to move house, moving from a not very nice part of London back to the country town I grew up.

We are fortunate that we made enough on our little house here to afford a nice house and enough to cover the moving expenses.

My DC's are 2 and 6 months so I was really worried about moving as DH and I don't get any help.

So to make life easier I've booked the movers to pack us and i have cleaners booked to deep clean both houses.

We are staying in a hotel the night we move so that the cleaners can get into the new house easily and then our belongings are coming the next day.

My mum thinks this is outrageous and suggested that now I'm moving to a nice house I think I'm too good to do these jobs myself.

I think that's a bit unfair - there will be still be lots of work for us to do. aibu to spend our profits to make life a bit easier for the move?

OP posts:
yomellamoHelly · 31/07/2016 08:28

Is what happened to this house before we moved in. Only the carpets were so skanky that they took a couple of days to dry out from all the shampooing that was needed. (Just to warn you!)

timeforheroes · 31/07/2016 08:30

Definitely not BU. As others have said, if you can afford it, it makes perfect sense. Last time we moved we only had DS, and did everything ourselves as we felt like getting someone in was an expense we didn't want to pay...never again. We agreed that next time we move we will budget in the cost for movers and cleaners.

user1469526900 · 31/07/2016 08:33

Sounds completely reasonable and sensible to me. If you can afford to do these things and it makes the move less stressful then why would you actively make life matter for yourself? Laugh off your mum's comments she'll soon move on.

AnnaT45 · 31/07/2016 08:34

We just did this as we have a 18 month old and I was 36 weeks pregnant. It's the best money I've ever spent! I also think in the grand scheme of what you spend on moving its nothing. I would just ignore your mum, sounds like she's possibly a bit jealous as I don't know why else it would bother someone when it's not their money? Good luck with the move

HicDraconis · 31/07/2016 08:37

Excellent ideas. I haven't packed and moved myself since I left Uni - I always get the packing service. They're faster, better at it and the insurance can't be quibbled if something gets broken and they packed it. Booking someone to clean the house you've left and the new house before you unpack is just sensible and takes all the stress out of the move.

But then I never saw any issues with paying someone else to do jobs I don't like doing. If you can afford it why not use the money to make your life easier?

Ememem84 · 31/07/2016 08:40

Great idea. I'm fed going to do this next time I move.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 31/07/2016 08:45

Sounds like a great idea. Some people leave houses clean (us) and some people don't (our sellers). We had to clean cat hair out of the oven, it was grim. No point putting yourself under heaps of pressure if you can afford not to. Your mum is being mean and rude.

Aworldofmyown · 31/07/2016 08:45

God no. With the kind of money you will be spending on the house and fees etc some deep cleaning and packing is a drop in the ocean.

Definitely worth it.

MoonStar07 · 31/07/2016 08:49

Sounds like a brilliant idea in fact I'm going to make a mental note to do the same should we ever choose to move house! Well done for being so organised. Older generations I've found don't like to spend money to make life easier. Forget the profit you'll make it back one day. For now it's what works for you! Clever lady :)

BritexOMG · 31/07/2016 08:49

I think that's a brilliant idea. And I'm going to do exactly the same when I move.

I hope your new house holds lots of happiness for you all.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 31/07/2016 08:51

Right. So we've established you did the sane thing. No one in their right mind would do otherwise if they could afford it (sorry TimeForHeros - but you know better now 😁).

You are going to have to find some self confidence before you move though, or living near your Mum is going to have you wrecked! You're an adult, quite able to make decisions that suit you and your family. She's of a completely different mind set than you and will have you second guessing your every move if you allow her to. Don't.

Good luck with the move!

Only1scoop · 31/07/2016 08:51

Yanbu at all

What a great idea

blueturtle6 · 31/07/2016 08:52

We will be moving this year and I love your plan, mind if I copy you, oh and Yanbu I only have one dd, 10month.enjoy your new house

wowfudge · 31/07/2016 08:52

Your DM is BU. Moving house is stressful so anything that helps is a great idea. My DPs have some funny attitudes about paying other people to do things, but we have so little free time and very little time together that it makes sense for us. I take my ironing to a local launderette - there isn't much of it, but the time it frees up is worth every penny it costs. If you can afford it there really is no need to make a martyr of yourself trying to do everything.

Junosmum · 31/07/2016 08:53

Sounds very sensible! I have a 7mo and moving and all it involves sounds like hell on earth just me and dh. Of you can afford it, why not!

BlueLeopard · 31/07/2016 08:54

I think its inspired.

Moving is stressful enough without adding young kids into the mix and its your own money so nowt to do with her and her opinion is unwanted. Just say "mum, did I ask you to pay for the hotel? No. So beak out please"

StepAwayFromTheThesaurus · 31/07/2016 08:55

If we ever move again, I'm paying for cleaning as well as packing. The cleaning was exhausting (and it's so demoralising to spend hours scrubbing your old house and then have to start again in your new one because the previous owners left it filthy).

Ignore your mum.

BlueLeopard · 31/07/2016 08:57

I also think its funny that she's free with her opinions, but not practical help for you with two little ones. She might have a right to an opinion on occasion if for example you use her for childcare or borrow money off her a lot but you've said yourself you and DH get no help.

bunnyfuller · 31/07/2016 08:57

Good luck with the move, sounds all very sensible. Get the movers to make sure they move the kids stuff into their rooms first o you can make it familiar ASAP.

Blu · 31/07/2016 09:00

Sounds like good organization to me!
Good luck, and enjoy your new home.... Hope you are not having second thoughts about moving closer to your Mum!!!

WorldsBiggestGrotbag · 31/07/2016 09:02

Having just moved with a 2.5 year old and 9 month old, doing all the moving/cleaning ourselves (hired a small van), YADNBU. It's a nightmare. We've moved 3 times since DD1 was born and have never been able to afford movers/cleaners and it has been so stressful. If you can afford it, do it.

ShebaShimmyShake · 31/07/2016 09:07

What is this obsession with making cleaning a moral act? Why is it fine to pay a professional to wash windows, care for a child or take in a seam, but an act of evil to pay a professional to clean?

OjosCansados · 31/07/2016 09:08

Sounds eminently sensible to me. Might do the same if we ever move!

FerdinandsMassiveBollocks · 31/07/2016 09:12

Is she also "too good" or is tidying up only your job?

You get a plumber in to fix the toilet

You get an electrician to fix the wiring

What's the difference? Seems v sensible if you can afford it we couldn't and moving was a fuckin nightmare and traumatic for the children. Yours will think it's a fun night in a hotel with relaxed parents

BrioLover · 31/07/2016 09:13

YADefinitelyNBU.

Just something to think on though - if your mum feels she can comment on something like this (that doesn't affect her in any way) then expect far more comments and little digs when you live near her...

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