To not want my husband to come with us?

[Mollmoo]

I'll try to make this as brief as possible... My brother lives abroad, a +10 hour flight. DC, aged 4.3 and 1.8 haven't been out to see him. We missed his wedding because I was 3 weeks away from giving birth with DD2. We've been invited out for thanksgiving in November. DH really didn't want to go, price, a long flight, jet lag etc with 2 small children = not fun. Initially I agreed, however I really want to go. My DP are going out too and have offered to pay for DC and we will be staying with relatives when out there. I told DH I wanted to go with my DP and DC and that I was happy to go on my own as I would have my DP for help. He said if I'm going he will come too. I just know that he will be stressed and miserable on the flight, which will make me stressed and miserable, and will moan any time DC get grumpy. I honestly think it will be easier and less stressful if he's not there! Am I being a massive b!tch? I know he's trying to be supportive. WWYD?

What fairenuff says sorry op it all sounds very sad.

I'm reading a lot of comments on here, making a lot of assumptions about stuff that hasn't actually been said by OP.
My DH may not think it's worth paying a huge sum of money to visit family/ go on holiday, and that may well be at the bottom of his problem. OPs parents are now helping with that, making it easier. Why would you want to go on holiday without him? We have separate holidays sometimes, but that's due to accommodating the DCs and what they want to do. In an ideal world, we would all go together. In your shoes, I'd be putting him in exclusive charge of one DC on the way out, and the other on the way home. It's easy to make dads feel like a cash cow/ spare part/ not needed, when mums are so efficient. Let him know that you would appreciate his support. Make the assumption that he will be supportive and he's far more likely to actually be supportive. Telling him that it would be easier without him won't exactly engage him with this. Enjoy yourselves
(I'm just wondering whether you are my sister actually!)

BorpBorpBorp her DH knows nothing about this most probably its the OP and mumsnet deciding what to do with DH. The whole thing sounds ridiculous and barking mad. I feel sorry for him no wonder the poor man gets stressed out look at what he has to live with.

I do wonder if you are going through PND you have an 18 month old. From when a baby is born up to the age of 3 you can suffer at some point with PND. I have a 16 month old I am in and out of PND. I have 3 older children and I forgot how hard it was he wont sit still nothing like my girls who used to sit quietly playing with dollies. I think you are worrying about something that doesn't need any thought. My DP behaves in exactly the same way although he tends to get to the airport late and we end up running for the plane. I am then the quivering wreck and he says they have to let us on we checked in and I'm to puffed to say anything back.

Night flights are your friend.

They'll be a bit of mucking about before they settle down, and then asleep and wake before landing.

I flew back on my own from Oz with dd1 not quite 3 at the time, and dd2 14mo.

What's he normally like when he has them on his own?

If they are traveling from America then they would have to leave in the morning and return in the evening its because of the time difference. They would arrive in the afternoon and come back in the morning.

Sorry I meant travelling from England they would have to leave in the morning and return from America in the evening. Sorry about that.