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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To be gutted that I won't be getting tax credits for 3rd child?

877 replies

GutenTag · 30/07/2016 07:24

I'm just wondering what people's opinion is really.

We are trying for a 3rd child and I won't be getting any tax credits for this child as the government has changed the rules so that from next year tax credits are only paid for up to a maximum of 2 children.

I currently receive around £1k of TC for the kids and I would have received £4k for the 3rd if the government hadn't made the changes.

That would have meant an extra £250 a month. It's a lot of money for us. My DH works and I'm a SAHM. We have a £100k mortgage on a small house in a deprived area of town. We get by. We don't have much money left each month and I need to save literally for everything. I'm really really gutted. I really wanted 3 kids and this has meant that I'll be financially alot worse off now.

Of course I don't expect the government to "pay" for my children but it would have really helped, that's all. It would have eased the pressure off.

Just for the record we have never received any other benefits apart from JSA when DH was made redundant last year which was a godsend as we would have been homeless otherwise.

Do you think AiBU to feel/ think like this?

OP posts:
snowgirl29 · 30/07/2016 09:33

Sorry OP but you are being unreasonable. I was married and doing a degree when I had my 2DCs and I've ended up as a single parent on benefits due to unfortunate circumstances and ill health.

I'm ever so grateful for the safety net but I wouldn't dream of having a 3rd child.

Viviennemary · 30/07/2016 09:33

I think I'd be annoyed in your position too. Because people who already have five six or even more children will continue to get TCs. The limit should be two for everyone IMHO.

Grassgreendashhabi · 30/07/2016 09:34

Dontyou- Grass green tax isn't something you pay to claim back part of at a later date. What a strange attitude

To me it is. Just like paying my tax to get NHS, pension etc.

Dontyoulovecalpol · 30/07/2016 09:35

Ok. So what about the police and criminal justice system? Whilst you pay in and take out who pays for criminals to be taken off the streets, which is direct benefit to you? Just one example of many

seven201 · 30/07/2016 09:39

Although I understand your disappointment yabu. We both work full time (I have applied for 4 days though) and don't qualify for tax credits and simply couldn't afford a third child (only got one at present) so we won't have one. Same for you! That's life, you have to live within your means.

Hoppinggreen · 30/07/2016 09:39

I think that part of he problem is that there is a generation of people growing up with the expectation of a certain level of government support and as that's being reduced its going to come as a bit of a shock.
Those of us who are a bit older perhaps saw tax credits etc as a bit of a boost rather than anything we had to rely on - I was very pleasantly surprised when I found out that I was getting £134 each month just for having 2 children!!! I never took it not consideration when we were deciding to have dc and I don't actually use it.
People might say I'm lucky not to have to but if we had needed to rely on that money when we first ttc we might not have had dc. I know circumstances change and it's great it's there for people who need the help but I'm concerns that too many people rely on benefits that can be withdrawn.

elodie2000 · 30/07/2016 09:41

'Those of us who are a bit older perhaps saw tax credits etc as a bit of a boost rather than anything we had to rely on'
This ^

trafalgargal · 30/07/2016 09:42

As for the poster who states "it's not the OPs fault she has to rely on tax credits ". Er.... Yes it is. She chose to have children, she chose to have a partner with a particular earning potential, she chose to be a SAH. With the freedom to make choices comes taking responsibility for those choices. She can now choose if her family is prepared to compromise the financial comfort of the existing family by having another child or not. She knows the financial consequence so she can decide together with her husband if they want to live with that consequence or not. Quite the adult way to make a decision.

AuldYow · 30/07/2016 09:43

Where's the OP gone?

TSSDNCOP · 30/07/2016 09:45

Oh fuck off. DH and I work full time to afford our family. Perhaps you could try that too.

ilovetoloveyoubaby · 30/07/2016 09:45

Lol!! This can't be a serious thread!

I have one DC, work full time and my DH works full time And we're delaying a second child til we save up.

Don't have children if you can't afford to pay for them off your own steam.

Why should the tax payers pay for your children??

Grassgreendashhabi · 30/07/2016 09:49

Dontyou- it's just my honest opinion.

Lurkedforever1 · 30/07/2016 09:49

I agree with thedailynail, the poster not the paper obviously.

I think it's disgusting that couples can choose to have a sahp on benefits, but single parents can't. Working tax credits should only be available to couples when both are working, unless either they are exempt on health grounds or have dc under 5, just like it is for lps.

PerpendicularVincent · 30/07/2016 09:49

I suspect this is a goady thread but I still think you're being an arse, OP.

I am desperate for another child but we can't afford one. So we don't, we both work full time and are trying to save. Get a job and save money yourself for DC3. I don't relish the thought of paying for you to stay at home

SillyMoomin · 30/07/2016 09:49

Oh you must be kidding Shock

If you can't afford any more children be the responsible adult and don't have any more.

I'd love another one. My DH and I have worked out we cannot afford one. So we haven't.

Fucks sakes you cannot be this entitled surely

TallulahTheTiger · 30/07/2016 09:50

I will bite although shouldn't DH left the forces, yes he got resettlement but there's still bugger all work out there. Only got JSA for short period of time which was a fight to get in first place as advisor stated he'd chosen to make himself unemployed and did he not want to sign back up. I earn 'too much' to claim anything other than child benefit so come end of my mat pay I'll be back at work as we won't cope on stat may and he'll be SAHD if remain unsuccessful at finding work - you need to cut your cloth to suit your means!

Alfieisnoisy · 30/07/2016 09:53

Some of you are very harsh, most people cannot afford children but with a rising elderly population we need babies to be born. Ideally you can afford to have your baby without any Govt help whatsoever. However with poor wages the likelihood is many will need some kind of support...even if it's just child benefit.

I was lucky as when DS was born I didn't need anything....now I am on full benefits and I couldn't give a flying f**k what anyone else thinks about that. I know why I have to live this way currently and I also know it isn't forever.

But yes the OP is a journalist or a researcher for Matthew Wright. Posts goody OP and fucks off to watch the bunfight ensue. Nicely done OP.

Watch out for being quoted when she has written her article and sold it to whichever rag has an axe to grind with families.

TSSDNCOP · 30/07/2016 09:53

Also if labour perform an actual miracle and get elected do you really think this would be a rule theyd overturn? The nasty choices are being made for them by this government after the last labour government forgot benefits are supposed to be short term and for those that desperately need it, not to fund multi kid families to those that make stupid fiscal decisions.

Alfieisnoisy · 30/07/2016 09:55

Perhaps if employers paid a proper fucking wage or any Govt got in top of the housing crisis most people wouldn't NEED these tax credits.

I have relatives in Europe working ordinary jobs....all can afford housing on their salaries plus other bills. They don't NEED top ups because they are paid a proper wage.

soyvanillalatte · 30/07/2016 09:56

Get a job OP

Babyroobs · 30/07/2016 09:56

YABU. We have 4 kids and don't get any tax credits. We both work around each other. Dh works 9-5 and I work evenings/ weekends/ nights. We've always done this since the kids were little so that we have no childcare costs. It's perfectly reasonable to earn that £250 a month if you need it.

Houseconfusion · 30/07/2016 09:56

this is a rag-writer

this is a wind up

this is a rag-writer

this is a wind up

TheFairyCaravan · 30/07/2016 09:57

Nope! I can't find a fuck to give!

We had 2 children because that's all we could afford. Just as well because I became disabled. We got the £40 a month tax credits, then the Tories got in and we got fuck all. We didnt bleat about it.

Luckily I still get my PIP but there's millions of people who have had their disability benefits taken away completely. They're up shit creak. It's them I feel sorry for not the likes of the OP.

snowy508601 · 30/07/2016 09:58

A word of caution as the parent of 2 students a 14 year old and 12 year old , children get substantially more expensive as they get older.If you are struggling to afford them when they are little, it will only get worse

zeeboo · 30/07/2016 09:59

"I'm a SAHM" actually you're a claimant. To me a stay at home mother is a very privileged position meaning your husband can support the household on his salary. I was one until we decided to have a third child. Then I faced a stark choice, work, or stop at two children. I chose part time work.
You are already using my taxes to your credit and I'm glad the government have finally clamped down on it. It should have been done long before they attacked the disabled and single parents.
You have totally proven why they did it. You are choosing to have a child purely because you thought someone other than yourself would pay for it, well sorry, not any more you can't. Benefits should be for those whose partners suddenly abandon them or die, or who become disabled, not so you can choose not to work and help your dh support your family.