Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

To be gutted that I won't be getting tax credits for 3rd child?

877 replies

GutenTag · 30/07/2016 07:24

I'm just wondering what people's opinion is really.

We are trying for a 3rd child and I won't be getting any tax credits for this child as the government has changed the rules so that from next year tax credits are only paid for up to a maximum of 2 children.

I currently receive around £1k of TC for the kids and I would have received £4k for the 3rd if the government hadn't made the changes.

That would have meant an extra £250 a month. It's a lot of money for us. My DH works and I'm a SAHM. We have a £100k mortgage on a small house in a deprived area of town. We get by. We don't have much money left each month and I need to save literally for everything. I'm really really gutted. I really wanted 3 kids and this has meant that I'll be financially alot worse off now.

Of course I don't expect the government to "pay" for my children but it would have really helped, that's all. It would have eased the pressure off.

Just for the record we have never received any other benefits apart from JSA when DH was made redundant last year which was a godsend as we would have been homeless otherwise.

Do you think AiBU to feel/ think like this?

OP posts:
PersianCatLady · 02/08/2016 16:13

Would you be entitled if you felt gutted that you could no longer benefit from those facilities?
But you aren't currently benefitting from 3rd child TC, you are not missing out.

Years ago my parents bought their first home for something like £12,000, things have changed, I paid significantly more. It is annoying how things have changed but I am not gutted that I cannot benefit from something that no longer exists.

PersianCatLady · 02/08/2016 16:15

Also imagine if the government had said that they were only going to allow the first child to be entitled to TCs and then they stopped your money altogether, then you would be entitled to feel gutted about the cuts.

Willow2016 · 02/08/2016 18:06

OP thats not the same at all...those cuts affect everyone, what you are complaining about only affects you its got nothing to do with tax credits.

I know people who are chronically disabled who have had their disability benefit stopped and who have to chose between paying the electric and eating... now thats gutting.

You have 2 kids, you get benefits to help with them, you are not losing anything, you have the choice either ensure you can pay for another or not have one, just like the rest of us have to.

Nobodys saying you CANT have more kids, just that you need to be able to provide for them without expecting the gov to give you the money to do so (in as far as we all can, without life taking the rug from under us I mean) It might be disapointing, it is for a lot of us mums, but life doesnt owe you anything.

Highlandfling80 · 03/08/2016 11:26

Well I sincerely hope I won't ever be in a situation to need to apply for tax credits. However I would still be disappointed that my 3rd Dd won't qualify for any tax credits.
I don't get them now but I would still miss it .

TreeTop7 · 09/03/2017 16:12

Old thread ...but we just had a few things clarified today because this will be introduced next month-

Multiples will be exempt, unless the claimant's actions increased the likelihood of a multiple birth (e.g. certain fertility treatments).

Adoptees from the uk care system will be exempt.

Children who are taken in by guardians will be exempt.

Child on an existing claim who gives birth herself: her baby will be exempt, the grandparents can add him or her to their claim.

Children born as a result of rape or coercion will be exempt as long as the claimant is not living with the father. A conviction is not necessary - a statement from a GP, social worker or rape charity worker will suffice.

Not many exemptions at all.

WannabeMNPrincess · 09/03/2017 17:46

I just read the OP, I think you've answered your own question, children shouldn't be about potential monetary value. It's up to parents, playing this whole adulting game, to either look at current income and expenditure, plus look at how much raising your 2 children has cost, if you cannot afford it, which I struggle to believe for reasons I will move onto, then you need to abandon the plans and get contraception. That's if you really, really, really, can't afford it.

I state a bit of disbelief because tax credits are new, new in my lifetime as an adult, yes I'm no spring chicken. So in the past parents had to get by with very little support. I know there will be those who bark, this isn't the past though!

My great grandmother had 12 children, in a 3 bed house, although given the age gap between the youngest and eldest, there wouldn't have always been 14 people living in the property. The trend pretty much continued with large families, apart from my generation and the one below who either chose not to, or couldn't if they wanted to.

In our household the income isn't anything amazing, but we don't qualify for tax credits. We still get child benefit. We don't live an excessive lifestyle, we have the same bills as most families.

I'm guessing if you have 2 DC and after the second, you thought I don't really want to end it here, you kept some clothes. You know for the first year, you pretty much get away with not having to dress baby, apart from a coat and extra layers if going out. Hopefully you have clothes, or know someone happy to give away clothes. If not and you were in super dire need, I'm sure someone on MN would donate vests etc from their DC.

There's the option of breast feeding, if not viable formula feeding, I am pretty sure that due to the tax credits you will get healthy start vouchers in pregnancy. So that can help towards formula. The HV told us Aptamil was made by the same people as Cow & Gate, we made the change no problem. If your baby needed special feeds, you would get those on prescription.

So we've covered clothing & feeding. Ok nappies, people rave about supermarket brands, it's trial and error. Water is the best thing to clean babies bottom with, no need for wet wipes, although with 2 DC I expect you always have some handy. Pushchair, I'd honestly give baby wearing a go if viable. Sleeping, I'm sure you could go to a shop that specialises in households on low income, so you could possibly get a cot & mattress for free or very small contribution. That's if you don't still have the old cot.

Hopefully your relatives will ask if you need anything, so the basic needs of a baby could be met by relatives, instead of a fancy outfit ask for vests and the staples you need.

Child tax credits are for children, I believe it's circa £65 per child, then you get the working tax credits that top that up. I believe there is a child element to working tax credits so whatever that is, add it on. So I'm sure splitting it 3 ways instead of 2 won't be that tragic. My emphasis is on child they're for the children's needs - so gas, electric, water, council tax, TV license, you would have to pay regardless of whether you had children or not.

You really need to think if you can afford this extra child, remember the best things in life are free, you don't need to pay for days out, you could save for a special trip now and then. Play parks, nature reserves, reservoirs, canals, all free to walk down/around/use. If you honestly can't afford it then you need to take action. I believe you could afford it, my parents had a mortgage and 6 children, although my Mum worked part time when Dad was at home for her own spending money. But my Dad's wage was minimum wage as was my Mum's.

You also need to think whilst you feel hard done by the government are short changing you, this is the reason they have put the cap on, as it should promote posts like this, where adults think, can we afford a baby without the government subsidising it. I also know my sister has one child via IVF, by brother is going through IVF. For both of them it will take a miracle to get baby 2, in fact it will take a miracle for my brother to have 1 baby. There are those who are reading this, or simply read the OP and died a bit inside, because they simply would love 1 child. So if you can conceive relatively easily, you should count your blessings.

This isn't typed in a rangy way, but advisory way.

I will read the rest of the posts and see what others have said. I may have duplicated what others have said, but I'm sure if you looked at your budget, you could skim some money somewhere to make it viable. I guess realistically there's little point in you trying to work as it would affect the tax credits you receive, so also feel blessed you get quite a lot already from tax credits, which affords you to be a SAHM. It's not a luxury everyone has.

Good luck to you, I hope you can make it work, so you can achieve what you want. This is probably a time in your life you look at outgoings and think, do we sacrifice this and have a baby, or is this more important. Remember most of the best things in life are free. Check to see if you can lower bills on comparison sites, also see if adding you or your OH to each other's car insurance brings it down.

TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 09/03/2017 17:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WannabeMNPrincess · 09/03/2017 18:20

What a twat do I feel, who raises a thread from 9 months back. Is it to see if OP managed to get caught in time? It's amazing how many people I know about due now, coincidence I think not. How many will be annoyed if they go over their due date.

Babyroobs · 09/03/2017 19:30

I think there might be a lot of Raspberry leaf tea drinking and curry eating around the end of March.

icy121 · 09/03/2017 19:36

If anyone reads the recent NHS/funding fertility treatment thread, then it seems many/most people think IVF is a luxury, shouldn't be funded by the NHS, if I can't afford the £8k per cycle it cost then could I afford kids anyway, and that having children is a lifestyle choice.

So all of that and then some re tax credits. Having a baby is a lifestyle choice, a luxury and why should other taxpayers fund you.

WobblyLegs5 · 09/03/2017 19:43

Disability should be made an exception. If the parents become disabled the 3+ children should receive tc. Equally if parent is forced to become a carer for disabled child (new baby or existing child becoming djsabled) they should receive tc for all kid. This is a massive fail imo. Not that it matters now

RachelRagged · 09/03/2017 20:16

Oh another goady fucker of an OP

SoleBizzz · 09/03/2017 20:23

I has one child as I couldn't stand to be on benefits as it was and couldn't risk burdening the tax payer further. YABU

Yummymummykd · 01/12/2017 16:25

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

WhooooAmI24601 · 01/12/2017 16:29

Yummy I've reported your post as it's vile bullshit.

Mulberry72 · 01/12/2017 16:33

Zombie!!!!

JacquesHammer · 01/12/2017 16:33

Now call me prejudice

You're prejudiced at worst, utterly ignorant at best.

TaylorSwiftMakesMyShitItch · 01/12/2017 16:39

If you can't afford 3 kids, you don't get to have 3 kids. That's how being an adult supposedly works, you want it, you pay for it.

LouPeru · 01/12/2017 16:44

Best thing the government ever did was stop benefits for 3rd child. You can't afford another child so don't have one!!! It's not rocket science.

We all have shit we want btf can't afford, should we all get on the phone and ask the government to help us out? Ridiculous.

SilverySurfer · 01/12/2017 16:56

I agree with TaylorSwiftMakesMyShitItch and LouPeru. I think anyone who is entitled enough to expect tax payers to pay for their children's upkeep is a disgrace and they should be ashamed.

PS Zombie thread

JonSnowsWife · 01/12/2017 17:04

Multiples will be exempt, unless the claimant's actions increased the likelihood of a multiple birth (e.g. certain fertility treatments).

I actually agree with the two child cap - I'd have loved more myself but can't afford them.

But that bit got me Hmm , family friend couldn't have children, 3x IVF attempts, two failed, the third resulted in triplets. Much wanted much loved and all are now grown up adults in very good jobs. Just when you think the Tory party can't be any more crass they manage to outdo themselves.

JonSnowsWife · 01/12/2017 17:07

I believe it's circa £65 per child, then you get the working tax credits that top that up

Not true. It depends on the circumstances and income. Friend and DH work FT. They get £30 a week for both children because they just come over the threshold. Significantly less that £65 a child.

Pinkpowerofthought · 01/12/2017 17:19

Um I work and could do with an extra 250 a month. Why should you get it for having a third child. You could earn that and more if you worked yourself but you want the tax payer to foot the bill instead, while you stay at home.

Fluffywhitecloud · 02/12/2017 03:25

Don't have children if you can't afford them bloody hell.

mamawitch · 04/12/2017 23:01

I don’t know if it’s been mentioned, and yeah I do kinda think of you can’t afford to raise another child you shouldn’t, but my worry with this is the mental impact on women.

Some women fall pregnant by accident. Contraception just fails. And I guess that’s the universes will!
But she then has to decide under this government policy if she can risk raising a child in poverty or if she should terminate an otherwise healthy pregnancy.

Having a termination can be an emotional gut wrenching, guilt ridden event that lives with th women her whole life. I know because I have been there. Not a day goes by that I don’t regret my decision, and yes I get on with life and work and be a mother and laugh and smile, but a little bit of me can never forgive myself.

In my eyes this policy is inhumane. Life is a cherished gift , no child should live in poverty and no woman should have to make this decision because of money.

Yeah I totally get it that the tax payers should not subsidise large families, but if they were paid a true to life living wage, if inflation was lower, and if the economy was booming nobody would need to claim tax credits! It’s the super rich that have caused this issue, by expecting people to work for pittance whilst they get richer and richer.