To be gutted that I won't be getting tax credits for 3rd child?

[GutenTag]

I'm just wondering what people's opinion is really.

We are trying for a 3rd child and I won't be getting any tax credits for this child as the government has changed the rules so that from next year tax credits are only paid for up to a maximum of 2 children.

I currently receive around £1k of TC for the kids and I would have received £4k for the 3rd if the government hadn't made the changes.

That would have meant an extra £250 a month. It's a lot of money for us. My DH works and I'm a SAHM. We have a £100k mortgage on a small house in a deprived area of town. We get by. We don't have much money left each month and I need to save literally for everything. I'm really really gutted. I really wanted 3 kids and this has meant that I'll be financially alot worse off now.

Of course I don't expect the government to "pay" for my children but it would have really helped, that's all. It would have eased the pressure off.

Just for the record we have never received any other benefits apart from JSA when DH was made redundant last year which was a godsend as we would have been homeless otherwise.

Do you think AiBU to feel/ think like this?

I am not against taxes providing a safety net. Indeed I think it is essential and to be commended.

What I find objectionable is the OPs entitled attitude. She has two children. She is blessed. She has a roof over her head which is hers. She is blessed. Her husband has a job. She is blessed. She has the opportunity to be a stay at home mum. She has the opportunity to work part-time should she wish.

Is it really that wrong to say - look you already get government help - the pot of money that funds the safety net is not infinite. That pot of money needs to be shared with others who are also need of assistance. The more you take the less others are likely to eventually take.

It's about shared responsibility. I am sure it would be nice to have three children, it would also be nice if she recognised that the pot is not infinite and accepted that we all make sacrifices for the greater good.

What? Why do you think the tax payer should pay for your 3rd child. FFS bD happy with your 2 happy children get a job & save for 3rd.
I

YABU op - the taxpayer should not pay for your third child when there are other far more pressing concerns.
However, I don't understand all those posters saying 'get a job'. It's not easy finding a job that pays enough to afford decent childcare and have money on top. Factor in the stress levels of juggling job, managing childcare for three children and being them for significant lengths of time (presumably you like being with them if you want more) and it's just not worth it.

without them

Many posters are saying that she could get a part-time job in the evenings, which wouldn't requite childcare as her DP could look after the children. This is what many mothers have to do.

Evening job robinina. Weekend job. She only needs to make up £400 a month was it? Easily done, probably only needs to work 3 evenings a week or similar.

Supporting your children is tough, that's life. Man up.

Yes, very stressful juggling work and children If every parent thought that we'd have no workers.

Choosing to opt out of financially providing for your own children should be demonised by society not encouraged. How can anybody have something so precious and then decide to not bother providing for them?

I read up to page 13!

1. I would have loved more chidren but couldn`t have anymore....imagine those who cannot have any reading this and how they may feel!
2. My son who has Cerebral Palsy and learning disabilities had a home visit to go over from DLA to PIP. We thought his claim was lost because he kept saying why are you telling that lady all about my body and that there was nothing wrong with him. He is 30 by the way. I couldn`t have coached him to give the 'right' responses! Luckily for us we have continued with the same benefits on PIP as on DLA.

So I find OP unreasonable.

Unbelievable stupidity or just a sign of the (irresponsible 'me, me, me') times we live in where people feel 'entitled' all the time. As other posters have suggested, why not go out to work and / or save up before trying for a third baby? Have you ever heard of living within your means? The policy is a very good one which acts as a disincentive to parents to have massive amounts of children if they really cannot afford to.

Wow! This is quite a depressing thread, with some incredibly bitter and mean-spirited attitudes. I thought as almost everyone on here is a parent that we would recognise that children are a blessing and gift to the world rather than some sort of parasitical vermin that are waiting to rob us all blind. Have I woken up in Daily Mail land? Is Alan Partridge our new president?
Leaving aside the fact that every new child is amazing in their own right and has the capacity to enrich us emotionally and culturally; for all you people in apoplexy about paying some tax to prevent a child from living a miserable life (what a shocking proposition!), who do you think is going to pay your pension or pay for your NHS care in the future? It won't be your current boss who is more than happy to see you slave your life away to put his kids though private school, he will also be delighted that you resent and attack another family close to your circumstances rather than join together with those families to demand a decent life for all (your boss is very likely to be a man, of course).
All the OP has done is to express her disappointment that we used to have a (slightly) more civilised recognition from the state that children are an asset and that the process of raising children comes at an economic cost worthy of investment by the state. She is at the sharp end of this change in focus by society and has stated quite clearly that she will change her life plans, although with some regret. How is that entitled?

I'm intrigued by your use of 'reasonable' and 'not reasonable'... smile Are you implying that we all, individually and collectively, have a duty to reduce the disparity between real wage levels, and how much we all know it actually costs to live and raise a family? Why is not the private sector's responsibility to set pay at levels whereby people can function as reasonable members of society? Regardless.

Even if that was the case and the private sector could achieve that. Would the boundary not be continually pushed? We all live to what we have (or more than, in many cases). A right to have 3 children becomes four, its is only fair that everyone has X or Y and we need the funds to pay for it etc, etc.

Im new to MN as a friend recommended it.

I have never heard so much bitterness and nasty comments , I'm assuming from woman, which are on this thread and other threads too.
It's vile, vile,
I'm off as I have more intelligent things to do.

Entitled is a perfect word. There should be tax credits and other benefits to help people. But help them not fully bankroll them. And unfortunatly you cant always afford in life what you want. You csnt afford 3 children you can't have them. Thats life. Id like to shop in selfridges and drive a merceades. We can't afford that, so we dont have it. But we are still incredibly lucky for the life we live and im very happy anyway. Im certainly not bitter and expectant that someone else can have that life and wont pay for me to have it.

And the poster earlier who talked about living wage. It wont help smaller businesses ect. They will end up just letting people go and life will get more expensive so companies can still nake a profit. Chucking money at the situation isnt the answer. Its about changing a mentality

How is that entitled?

Because the OP isn't intending to work. Unless I've missed one of her posts, I've not seen her say she's changing anything. Her family have been on the verge of homelessness, they are struggling financially and she's trying to get pregnant. How about trying to do the best for the children you all ready have.

Rainchancer:
OP doesnt work and relies on tax credits to help their income, fair enough lots of us do. BUT she has already said that she is only just getting by, saving for everything etc so if she can only just afford the kids she has why on earth would she be contemplating having another one?

Many people would like more kids but cannot afford them on thier DUAL wages never mind one, so why should anyone keep on having kids they know they cant afford on their own, while expecting the state to pay for them?

BTW I know its not as easy as some people say "just get a job" but you have to take some responsibility for your own actions. If you cant get a job, cant afford more kids then you dont its that simple.

Yep its probable this is a thread just to get a rise out of people but we all know there are people like this who expect to have their lifestyle funded for them, we probably all know someone like this. So for 'OP' to be told its not unreasonable for her to want another kid she cant afford Is unreasonable.

Chipped
Hasn't OP got a job lined up in September?

Which she won't be able to continue with if she gets pregnant.

Now, now, I thought we all knew only the well off are entitled to a family and if you're not well off you're only entitled to the scorn of others terrified you might get something they don't. Silly OP.

There's a huge difference between well off and completely skint.

The appears to have absolutely no financial reserves.

Your entitled to the family you can afford. One child families are still families. So are the families with no children. You just cut your cloth accordingly?

Bloop two children is a family!

"Now, now, I thought we all knew only the well off are entitled to a family and if you're not well off you're only entitled to the scorn of others terrified you might get something they don't. Silly OP"

Um. OP has a family already?

I have never heard so much bitterness and nasty comments , I'm assuming from woman, which are on this thread and other threads too.

Disagreeing and posters saying they feel OP is wrong does not equal bitter and nasty.

Gosh my post was ages ago Willow, didn't think anyone would respond after all that time. But I really don't think it's right for any of us to say someone can't afford another child. There are so many things that I don't like my taxes going on, someone wanting a third child isnt one of them.

The not wanting my taxes to go on xyz isnt even the major issue for me. Its this lack of responsibility, blame others culture that we have seemed to create.