To be gutted that I won't be getting tax credits for 3rd child?

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I'm just wondering what people's opinion is really.

We are trying for a 3rd child and I won't be getting any tax credits for this child as the government has changed the rules so that from next year tax credits are only paid for up to a maximum of 2 children.

I currently receive around £1k of TC for the kids and I would have received £4k for the 3rd if the government hadn't made the changes.

That would have meant an extra £250 a month. It's a lot of money for us. My DH works and I'm a SAHM. We have a £100k mortgage on a small house in a deprived area of town. We get by. We don't have much money left each month and I need to save literally for everything. I'm really really gutted. I really wanted 3 kids and this has meant that I'll be financially alot worse off now.

Of course I don't expect the government to "pay" for my children but it would have really helped, that's all. It would have eased the pressure off.

Just for the record we have never received any other benefits apart from JSA when DH was made redundant last year which was a godsend as we would have been homeless otherwise.

Do you think AiBU to feel/ think like this?

No, because:

1. Sometimes, some people try to claim their NT child is disabled to get money. They are not successful - hence they 'try' to get it, and

1. Sometimes, some people with a disabled child try to get the money they are entitled to and hopefully will be successful.

Most reasonable people take issue with 1, but not 2.

I think you have comprehension problems call, TBH

I honestly don't Understand this whole im a sahm but we barely make ends meet etc, I see it on mumsnet all the time.
Get a bloody job!

Being a sahm is surely a luxury that you cant afford.
And before you all start with getting a job that fits around the kids is difficult etc m, that's reality, my job has never particularly fitted around my kids, but you manage, and actually have some spare cash, it's really not rocket science!

One more try;

Sometimes, some people with a disabled child try to get the money they are entitled to and hopefully will be successful.

People whose children are disabled do not 'try to get money '; they seek medical help.

I don't think I do, but either way we are straying away from the OP.

The fact that some people attempt to fraudulently claim money they are not entitled to doesn't equate to everyone claiming that money is a fraud - and please note my use of the word 'attempt.'

Yes, but we were specifically speaking about the finances weren't we :) so bit unfair to twist what I was saying then.

I've got a great idea .... get a job maybe?

I'm a lone parent, I get tax credits for the one child I have. I wouldn't dream of having another one as I can't afford it.

Part way through the 12 pages a PP said "tough shit"

I think that about sums it up

Yes, but we were specifically speaking about the finances weren't we :) so bit unfair to twist what I was saying then.

Well, no, because your phrasing is making disability sound like a money making scheme.

And trust us, Autism and ADHD don't need any more ignorant smears than they already attract I agree Just5minswithPaulDacre .

We've been fighting for years to get help for DS, because he masks in school he's not diagnosed. I recently had to go in and talk to the HT about an incident that had happened between my DS & DD at their Dads and I told the HT that they need to address this to the Professionals themselves. The reply "I wonder if the only reason the professionals are reluctant to help is because they think you're just after a diagnosis for DLA". . I got an immediate apology as had a friend with me at the time who expressed her disgust at such a comment. Reiterated to HT several times I'm not after money, I'm after support.

Sorry for derailing the thread. OP, I do think it's best you wait until you are more financially secure to have DC no 3. As someone who's often had to scrape by, it's no fun for you or the current DCs believe me.

Yabu

And one of life's takers....

I do know someone who tried to get a diagnosis of ADHD for her child to claim more benefits because that's what her family advised her to do
He didn't have ADHD
He just needed better parenting

The problem here is not really that you have three kids, or your DH earns thirty grand or the level of tax credits.

The problem is the housing crisis. You're paying a £100 mortgage on a house in a deprived part of town. I'm guessing it's not a mansion. If house prices were not so excessive, you'd have a much smaller mortgage and that's where your extra £250 would come from.

I know that doesn't help, but that's the real issue on many of these threads about kids and space and money: the ludicrous cost of housing.

Snowgirl that is beyond shocking

Again that's rather unfair Just

We were talking about money

I responded talking about money

You then paint me as someone who thinks disability equates to money!

Wow Lorsaidthedean you're in the firing line!

There are many cases of people claiming disability benefit fraudulently.
That is a fact.
It is unethical, criminal and undermines genuine need.
We all know that criminal activity related to child abuse also takes place in the UK.
Put the two together and you have what Lorsaidthedean is referring to.
There have been investigations into this type of fraudulent activity.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-12359070

Cardibach, I disagree. Yes we need people to do all sorts of jobs but they know the salary when they take that role. Everyone has to budget, it's not it employers to pay more as the employee wants x, y and z. Its not an employers fault if there employee works sixteen hours and can't survive on that alone.

One minimum wage is never going to stretch to two adults and children so the person needs to either make the second adult work, retrain or take a second job if they want more things than they can afford. The state should never have started paying for choices in the first place. All it led to was entitlement and lack of responsibility neither which are good for society.

I'm just quoting your own words call.

The whole business of people equating autism diagnoses with tiny DLA payments is rather offensive.

Which (of course) is the whole substance of my objection to autism being dragged into a tax credits discussion with the weasel words 'some', 'allegedly' etc.

Isn't it just! I said to my friend who came with me, I asked her if she hadn't been with me would she have believed what the HT had said. She said of course not. All very weird and it's left my DS without an intervention whatsoever. I also had a senco who just thought it was my bad parenting - which is odd considering my DD was quite literally a star pupil. Thankfully they're both out of that school now.

It just annoys me when people think all parents do it to claim benefits, I'm probably taking it personally though due to my experience. I'm sure there's a minority that do but the majority didn't. I could be earning near on £30k a year with my education, but I fell ill and my marriage broke down. To think people honestly think I do this to claim an extra few quid a week is insulting.

Actually that's another reason I wouldn't have DC3 too even if I was financially stable, DS takes up too much of my time as it is it wouldn't be fair on a 3rd child or him.

It would be offensive had I said 'everyone with a child with autism is just after the money' I agree.

But I not only didn't say it but didn't even insinuate it.

I will repeat - some parents attempt a diagnosis for financial gain.

Not all

or most

Some.

There are many cases of people claiming disability benefit fraudulently.

That's not what Lori said elodie.

The allegation was that people fraudulently seek diagnoses.

And they do. Most I imagine won't get a diagnosis. I can't say 'all' as I imagine some must occasionally slip through the net.

I will repeat - some parents attempt a diagnosis for financial gain.

Just assume for a moment that's true.

It won't get them anywhere. You can't fake autism.

So what's the motivation for asserting it so passionately and repeatedly other than to smear?

And they do. Most I imagine won't get a diagnosis. I can't say 'all' as I imagine some must occasionally slip through the net.

Slip through the net?!

What do you think the diagnostic protocol consists of?

I really have made that clear, I think!

Saying some parents will try to get a diagnosis for money isn't the same as saying that those who are diagnosed are faking. Is it?