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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want dd to move out of our room

91 replies

ollieplimsoles · 30/07/2016 01:14

We have a 9 month old dd, since she was born she has slept in our room in a side sleeper cot. She has now out grown this and she sleeps in our bed with me and dh. We have ordered her another, larger cot and plan to have that one in our room too.

Our families can't understand why we don't move her into her own room now. Both our parents have commented that its not fair on her that she doesn't have her own space and we should set up a proper nursery.

All the other babies in the family were in their own rooms really early and it always gets dragged up in conversations with family members.

Its starting to grate on me! Is it so bad that we enjoy having our dd in our room, dh loves waking up to her cooing and laughing, and I love being so close to her during the night.

Even our friends are starting to say its odd now, are we BU ?

OP posts:

Wdigin2this · 30/07/2016 09:02

I'm a mother and a grandmother, and I've seen fashions, fads and ideas on bringing up children come and go...and come round again!
At the end of the day, she's your baby, so you and her daddy get to decide what's best for her. If you're both happy, and she's happy and thriving....do what the hell you want, and ignore everyone else!!!
,

nokidshere · 30/07/2016 10:09

We could slept with each of ours until they were two. Neither had any problems moving into their own rooms/beds and both were (and still are) really good sleepers.

Smile, nod, ignore

nokidshere · 30/07/2016 10:09

Could slept = co slept

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 30/07/2016 11:50

It's absolutely no one's business apart from those that sleep in the room.

I suggest either a shrug and 'it works for us' or if my preferred comment, 'thanks for your feedback'

StarryIllusion · 30/07/2016 11:57

I think it's strange but that is just me. I couldn't wait to get mine in their own room, I like my own space. Hate sleeping with others in the room, it took me months to be able to sleep with dp. I think DS is the sane as he stopped waking through the night as soon as he wasn't in with us. Besides who wants to have sex with the baby in the room.

orangebird69 · 30/07/2016 12:00

There are other places to have sex than the bedroom....

PuttingouthefirewithGasoline · 30/07/2016 12:15

My co sleeper was large, dd was in it next to us for about 2 half years, I only stopped BF recently.

It felt great to have her in her own room eventually, but it also felt wonderful to have her so close. My other went into her own room at 3 months , I read books and didnt do what felt right.

The move to her own room wasnt a problem in the slightest either.

Ragwort · 30/07/2016 12:16

Why do you even discuss this sort of thing with anyone else?

I am frequently amazed on Mumsnet at the amount of detail people share about their lives with friends/parents etc and then get upset whenever anyone else has a different point of view. It's almost as if people don't have confidence in their own decisions.

Personally my DS slept in his own room from day 7 - yes, I know that's against the guidelines but the only comments I ever received about it were on Mumsnet when I posted on 'sleep threads - what worked for us'. . I saw no need to discuss it with anyone else and no one actually asked me 'where does your baby sleep'.

Your baby - your choice, but just don't talk about it !

VulpesVulpes · 30/07/2016 12:25

If you guys are happy, then that's all that matters. Some great tips on here for the eventual time when she gets her own room too. I love the idea of getting the child involved in planning the room, and getting a fun bed so they'll be excited to sleep in it. Will have to remember that one when the time comes for me!

ilovewelshrarebit123 · 30/07/2016 12:31

My 9 year old daughter still sleeps in my bed. Hasn't slept in her own room for years.

I don't care what other people think, we both like it and we sleep really well!

StarryIllusion · 30/07/2016 13:30

Haha orange not in this house. Privacy is a pipe dream! Op do whatever works for you. If you like having her there then do so. I like my own space and don't give a crap what others think. It works for us. There's no such thing as normal.

JohnLithgowsLargeForehead · 30/07/2016 14:03

When I read your title I thought your child was much older! Of course it's okay, ignore any comments. All that matters is that you and baby are happy. DS is nearly 2.5 and still in ours... Next year there'll be a newborn in it too! (One bed flat)

CraftyPenguin · 30/07/2016 14:14

My dd is 11 months and still sleeps in our room. I'm so fed up of people telling me she needs to be in her own room and that I also need to stop breastfeeding It's no one else business. This works for us, so that's why we're doing.

Those who had dc in their room for a while - did you still put them up to bed in the evenings?

Absofrigginlootly · 30/07/2016 14:24

Still co sleeping with DD at 21 months, images in her cot bed with one side off pushed right up against my mattress in the floor (same height, no gaps).

She's never been the best sleeper and we all get much more sleep this way. She needs the reassurance that I'm right there in the middle of the night and I can settle her to sleep with a quick breastfeed. Why would I want to have to wake right up, get out of bed in the cold, by then she will be wide awake and crying - if we were in separate rooms?!

OP do what is right for your family. There is no RIGHT WAY to parent - only the right way for your family (caveat- obvs excluding abusive parenting!!)

Just say to your families "we're happy with what we're doing and so is DD, no need to change anything" or alternatively just don't give them any details!

Absofrigginlootly · 30/07/2016 14:24

*shes in her cot bed (not images?!)?

MrsKoala · 30/07/2016 14:36

My 2 are 4 and 2 and they have always slept in our beds, never been in cots. We did try occasionally but no one liked it. We have just ordered them their first beds as we have our 3rd on the way and i don't want the night feeds to wake them. But if it wasn't for dc3 we wouldn't be moving them. We love the cuddles so much and i honestly don't think i will be able to sleep so far away from them.

I am just reading 'solve your child's sleep problems' by Dr Ferber and i have to disagree with his assertions that co-sleeping affects your relationship and you then resent each other and your children and you stop having sex. We have never once had sex with either of the dc in the room and still manage it. Altho it's not that often but that isn't to do with co-sleeping, it's because we are knackered. We never had sex in the bed or at night before the dc so i don't know why we would want to now.

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