To ask for your help with my bikini line?!

[Whatabloodyidiot1]

Posting here for traffic, time is not on my side! And also (obviously) name changed.....
In an attempt to save time I have waxed my own bikini line with the dire-est of consequences, the top bit has come away beautifully but the wax has stuck firmly to both sides, I'm assuming at this point the wax cooled down, hence now it is stuck fast, red, and very very angry. I've never had syphilis but I imagine this is what it looks like.
All visions of myself slinking around the pool on holiday next week have dissolved entirely, unlike this wax.
Things I have tried:
Scrubbing with a flannel
Soaking it with water as hot as j can stand in an attempt to melt it whilst scrubbing with an exfoliating cloth.
Oils of every variety.
The box says 'excess wax will wash away with warm soapy water' THIS IS NOT FUCKING TRUE!!
It's a complete mess and I'm all out of ideas, can you help?! I can go and purchase any suggestions but short of sanding it off I'm losing hope.
It's not sticky BTW it's sort of plasticated, and shiny, like a an exhibit in the Gunter von hagens travelling show. And red, very very red, and sort of raised.
I'll stop now.

[neolara]

Ahem,.... Drum roll,.... I have the solution. Put on a pair of opaque tights, put a pair of jeans over the top, sit on an aeroplane for 14 hours thinking "shit, shit, shit, what in the Lord's name have I done. I am never doing DIY waxing EVER again " . Miraculously, when you arrive in your holiday destination, all the wax will be stuck to your tights and not your legs. Worked for me and I had wax from ankle to thigh. Both legs......

[GladAllOver]

WHY on earth do we do this to ourselves?
We don't have to.

can you imagine any men putting themselves through this kind of pain and humiliation to have a bald penis area?
Perhaps they have more sense?

[whippetwoman]

I love the furry dog comment. It has just literally made my day for some reason.

In my defence, I am having a crap day.

[Whatabloodyidiot1]

I can't see how the sight of a few pubes could be more offensive than the butchered sight of my bikini line!
No I'm not wax free yet, I'm half tempted to put a picture on.

[TSSDNCOP]

In addition to the cake you've made if you could embed a pube into the wax you'd have a little candle.

Scrabbling for bright side failing

[HateSummer]

Candle 😂

Please add a picture

Baby wipes are good at removing everything.

[HemanOrSheRa]

It's my Sister's birthday on Sunday OP. You could come along to her party as an unusual, novelty birthday cake, complete with candles.

I don't know why I'm making light of your predicament - it reminds me of the time I tried to epilate my bikini line. I wasn't firm enough when I got round to the groin area right at the top of my thigh. The epilator chewed up my pubes and wouldn't let go. I was stark naked, with an epilator dangling between my legs. I was in a sweaty state of panic and pain! Eventually I managed to snip my pubes free from the bloody thing. Never again.

[Whatabloodyidiot1]

I've given up, no more is shifting, I've had a bath and slathered the fucking thing in germolene.

[Caken]

Pic please

[DropZoneOne]

I've done this - slightly old hair wax, acted like shrink wrap and bonded so tightly to the hair I was in tears. Great big wodge of the stuff but no way was it pulling anywhere.

Get a hairdryer on a medium setting and aim at the wax, it'll soften enough that you can pick it off or at least far enough up the hair that you can cut underneath with nail scissors.

[Whatabloodyidiot1]

Not a great pic, but it's basically this! Down both sides of my bikini line.

[Caken]

Ouch, looks very sore . No suggestion sum afraid but hoping for a miraculous recovery before your holiday!

[Caken]

*suggestions I'm

[VestalVirgin]

We don't have to.

Only partly true. We wouldn't have to do it if it had not become standard because everyone else is doing it.

At this point in time, it needs a certain willpower to just not do it.

I admit I cowardly bought a bikini bottom with actual trouser legs. Nothing to be seen there.

[John4703]

YorkieDorkie Fri 29-Jul-16 11:23:03
I was wondering why men don't feel the need to do the same hmm,
I remember having this done once, the pain was !!!! I was a manager in a call centre and as a charity fundraiser I agreed to a sponsored leg wax. It started well, me wearing a kilt. Then someone suggested that if anyone paid £10 to the charity that person could apply and remove the wax and my hairs. It got to be a competition amongst the female staff to see who dared wax where, I did not like being bald in that area but we made a hell of a lot of cash for a charity that helps children with cancer so the agony was worth it The OP has all my sympathy.

[user7755]

Get wine while you're out. Drink the whole bottle. Worry about it in the morning. hope it's come off on its own by then

[user7755]

Just read to the end. Go to the shop. Get wine. Drink the bottle. Forget about it till the morning. Go and buy a sarong do they still sell them?

[Whatabloodyidiot1]

I've got wine, lots of wine, along with regret, and shame. And I smell of germolene. Chance of a shag? 0%.

[HitsAndMrs]

Idiot - I'm a Beauty therapist but all I can suggest is gently cutting off the top layers of the wax with scissors and then use oil on the remaining bit. After wax will sooth the area but doesn't remove wax. Don't apply any heat to the area.

[YorkieDorkie]

John I am crying I completely retract my previous post!

[John4703]

John I am crying grin I completely retract my previous post!
Thanks Yorkie

[user7755]

Join me for a virtual party in the kitchen. Getting drunk on prosecco, listening to erasure (inspired by Sharon) and singing and dancing whilst reminiscing about youth club snogs and first love!

You'll forget about your sore lady garden in no time!

[BeALert]

Once you've got rid of the wax, and had your holiday, I strongly recommend laser hair removal treatment. It worked perfectly for me.

[Whatabloodyidiot1]

I'm never getting rid of the wax, I swear it's coming to the grave with me.....

[user7755]

I think that's the right approach - mindfulness. It is there, it is neither good nor bad. Accept it.

I have done this a number of times and it normally comes off on its own eventually. Although, the first time I waxed my legs I went to the shop with a wax strip stuck to my leg for a bottle because I wasn't brave enough to pull it off when I was sober so I might not be the best person for advice - but I can empathise.