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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to tell my friend that our other friend is in love with her?

37 replies

WorriedFriendSurrey · 28/07/2016 22:34

I've name changed to protect identities - been here since 08 (Pom bears, naice ham blah blah blah)
Backstory: we all met when our kids started school together, I moved away a year ago but we've all stayed really good friends. Obviously they see each other a lot more as they live so much closer and they've spent a lot of time together recently.
One friend came to visit me this week and after a couple too many glasses of wine she's confessed that she's got a massive crush on our other friend (let's call her D). She says if she doesn't confess then she won't be able to stop herself acting on it, but we are all going camping in a few weeks and I think it's going to be really awkward and could all blow up then! I think I should prewarn D - AIBU? Wwyd?

OP posts:
monkeywithacowface · 28/07/2016 22:36

I think you should stay well out of it!

SaggyNaggy · 28/07/2016 22:36

Yabu.
Stay out if it but be there for any hurt parties.

SpecialAgentFreyPie · 28/07/2016 22:40

YABVU
It is none of your business and what if you 'out' her?

User100 · 28/07/2016 22:46

YANBU. I get the other responses but if she's going to tell her anyway surely it's better D has time to consider how to react for everyone's sake (I assume you don't have any reason to think it's reciprocated?).

tibbawyrots · 28/07/2016 22:51

Keep out of it.
If your unsuspecting friend isn't of the same mind she won't necessarily appreciate you knowing.

Messengers often get shot.

Original poster
WorriedFriendSurrey · 28/07/2016 22:55

Special- I trust D not to pass the information any further, but think she has a right to find out without the kids and husbands being around!

OP posts:
ChanelNo314 · 28/07/2016 22:55

oh boy. stay out of it.

Later, you'll still be in trouble for something. But less than if you waded in with your revelation.

Original poster
WorriedFriendSurrey · 28/07/2016 23:01

User: does it matter whether it's reciprocated?!

OP posts:
TheRealKimmySchmidt63 · 28/07/2016 23:02

Stay well out of it! Sounds like it was a drunken confession and she may well not be planning to act on it

User100 · 28/07/2016 23:07

Kimmy - I think that's really insulting. You can't assume she's only a lesbian when she's drunk! Would you say the same if it was a straight crush?

TeaPleaseLouise · 28/07/2016 23:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Teadrinker001 · 28/07/2016 23:09

Thing is you are now stuck in the middle of an awkward situation now anyway. I think you owe it to D to give her a heads up.

AddToBasket · 28/07/2016 23:14

It was obviously told to you in confidence. That should mean something to you.

Don't get involved. You'll completely lose the trust of your friend and the others will think you stir the pot.

Original poster
WorriedFriendSurrey · 28/07/2016 23:15

I don't know... We talked about it a bit more this morning and I get the feeling she wants me to tell D Confused

OP posts:
DietCockBreak · 28/07/2016 23:18

Neither of them are free to act on this crush even if they wanted to. And it seems they don't want to, since they haven't divulged it to the one they like. Stay well out of it, no good can come of telling people about this, but it could cause a lot of damage to their friendship with each other and you.

Casmama · 28/07/2016 23:18

So ask her if she wants you to tell D, under no circumstances do you get to decide that ffs!

WorraLiberty · 28/07/2016 23:18

Just keep out of it. If she wants D to know, she can tell her herself.

How did you get 'In love with her', from her telling you she has a crush?

If you're prone to exaggeration, that's all the more reason to steer clear of getting involved.

GarlicMistake · 28/07/2016 23:19

Erm, what sort of a crush? I've got a massive crush on Helen Mirren, but I don't want to shag her. Ditto David Beckham, actually.

Is your friend officially lesbian or bi? What does "she won't be able to stop herself acting on it" mean? Either she's a potential homosexual sex pest or she was just exaggerating for effect.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 28/07/2016 23:19

If she wants D to know she can tell her, herself?

Are they both married?

User100 · 28/07/2016 23:19

Diet - I'm sorry to be blunt but is there any way out of this thay doesn't damage their friendship?

TeaPleaseLouise · 28/07/2016 23:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

User100 · 28/07/2016 23:22

Garlic - "officially"?! I didn't know there was a card you had to register for!

squoosh · 28/07/2016 23:23

'I think that's really insulting. You can't assume she's only a lesbian when she's drunk! Would you say the same if it was a straight crush?'

??

All she said was that it may have just been a drunken confession that she won't act on in the cold light of day.

Hockeydude · 28/07/2016 23:28

All you need to do is to tell the friend who confided in you that it is not appropriate to make a move on a married/partnered person.

Original poster
WorriedFriendSurrey · 28/07/2016 23:29

Yes we're all married (I thought happily!) and have kids of the same age.

Garlic: I don't want to go into detail but we'd had quite a lot to drink and she was quite... Descriptive...

OP posts: