Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids left in car while mum shops in Lidl

120 replies

Talawrence · 28/07/2016 19:35

This morning I arrived at Lidl just before 8am. Another car pulled up beside me. The parent parked up leaving 2 very small kids ( 3 & 1 yr old) in the car unattended . I took my time to get my own child out of the car and observed the kids left alone . After 7 mins I took a photo of the unattended children in the car and the front number plate. Just then the mother came out and was confrontational. She said she was running late for work . I told her that she should use common sense and I will be reporting her to the police . Shall I delete the photos or report this parent .

OP posts:
FreedomIsInPeril · 28/07/2016 21:58

If your kid can get out of the seat, you have a bigger problem. Whats to stop them getting out while you're on the motorway and leaning in for a hug?

FreedomIsInPeril · 28/07/2016 21:58

If your kid can get out of the seat, you have a bigger problem. Whats to stop them getting out while you're on the motorway and leaning in for a hug?

eyebrowsonfleek · 28/07/2016 21:59

The OP didn't know how long the mother was going to be when she snapped the photo.

If she was going to go into the shop and report the car, she'd need a registration number and a photo would be a good way to write it down.

A young child can cry/scream so much that they get hotter. Many 3 year olds can get out of their seat. Whose to say that the 1 year old wouldn't have a tantrum because their sibling has escaped and they want to get out too or because the older sibling has taken the opportunity to bop the other one because mum isn't there? (These scenarios are more likely than exploding cars etc)

OP- It turned out to only be 7 minutes so I think that the police wouldn't act on it. You should delete and let it go. I don't think that you did anything wrong by the way.

hotdiggedy · 28/07/2016 22:00

has anyone considered what would happen if a child were able to get out of their car seat and try to lean in for a hug while you're on the motorway?

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 28/07/2016 22:01

7 minutes??!!

Ffs get a grip.

FreedomIsInPeril · 28/07/2016 22:02

Stupid multiple posts!

LuckySantangelo1 · 28/07/2016 22:04

7 minutes? I like to think you were stood there with a stop watch and pursed lips Grin

JaWellNoFine · 28/07/2016 22:08

"This is being a self-righteous judgey-pants busybody. It's not about caring."

^^
This

thisisafakename · 28/07/2016 22:09

has anyone considered what would happen if a child were able to get out of their car seat and try to lean in for a hug while you're on the motorway?

Yes, a previous poster has, if you look below (exactly same phrasing too). That is one of the hazards of driving with children. i guess you would have to pull over as soon as it is safe to do so and strap them back in and make it very clear to them that they musn't do that ever again. If they are in the backseat, it would be hard for them to get into the front, so who would they be leaning in trying to hug?

The thing about kids getting out of car seats is not a myth- many actually CAN.

FreedomIsInPeril · 28/07/2016 22:11

How would it be hard to get from the back seat to the front? That couldn't be easier.

PacificDogwod · 28/07/2016 22:11

So, you hung around your own car for 7 minutes with your own child, timing the other person's absence? At 8am?

This did not happen.

Maryann1975 · 28/07/2016 22:16

*Ha ha. This is bizarre. MN at its best. Have you seen the other thread about leaving a one year old in the car for 10 minutes?

I know! This one is SO much more sensible grin*

I was just thinking how strange it is that you can post two threads, that are virtually identical and get two very different sets of responses. One saying op was completly right for phoning the police and the other being told she is a busy body for interfering for worrying about the children. Come on mumsnet, are we allowed to leave our children in cars alone or not? I'm confused about what is the right thing to do now!!

Maryann1975 · 28/07/2016 22:18

And before anyone starts about my last comment, my children are older now and quite capable of being left in the car while I nip into a shop for a pint of milk or whatever, so I don't have any of these worries.

thisisafakename · 28/07/2016 22:19

How would it be hard to get from the back seat to the front? That couldn't be easier

OK, i don't know, I luckily haven't had it happen to me. You would have to make sure that by physical and verbal means, you ensure that they stay in the back until you can safely pull over- blocking the gap between the seats with your arm, or pushing child back. And then avoid motorway travel until they can behave themselves or there is someone in the backseat to supervise.

What does this have to do with being left unattended? It's not unreasonable to think a toddler would try to get out of the seat to look for her mum/dad if she has been left alone in the car.

It actually is perfectly possible for some children to get out of their car seats. It isn't some sort of urban myth.

thisisafakename · 28/07/2016 22:24

Come on mumsnet, are we allowed to leave our children in cars alone or not? I'm confused about what is the right thing to do now!!

I suspect it's all in the tone of the OP. The first one appeared racked with guilt, the OP said she was crying with the mum when she came back to the car, she seemed so empathetic etc, etc, etc.

This one, the OP seems a bit more harsh, maybe more judgmental of the mother. The photos probably tipped it over the edge.

But the situation was exactly the same- very young children being left on their own in cars. Either it's right or it's wrong- there shouldn't be shades of grey.

In fact, I would be more worried about this than the first one because the mother in that case was remorseful and upset and probably won't do it again. This one was confrontational and justified her actions- I wouldn't be so sure it wouldn't happen again.

FreedomIsInPeril · 28/07/2016 22:28

Either it's right or it's wrong- there shouldn't be shades of grey

Very little is right or wrong, and there are always shades of grey. If you don't get that then you think like a child, in black and white.
For example: leaving your kids in an unlocked car in the middle of the night outside a crack den....definitely on the wrong side. Leaving your sleeping child on your gated driveway in a small village, with plenty of air....definitely on the right side.

Lulooo · 28/07/2016 22:29

SharonfromEON you have a pretty clear view of two thirds of the car park from our Lidlington. Especially when stood at the tills.

If any passive aggressive shite was taking pictures of my DC without my permission I'd slap the phone right out of their hands.

FreedomIsInPeril · 28/07/2016 22:30

It actually is perfectly possible for some children to get out of their car seats. It isn't some sort of urban myth

Nobody said it was. But then you need to take steps to make sure they don't. OR don't leave houdini kids in the car. If you have a child who can't get out, then the point is moot.

eyebrowsonfleek · 28/07/2016 22:33

The Houdini kids would rightly point out that the car is parked so they don't have to stay in the seat (or they plan to quickly buckle up if they see mum)

LoreleiGilmoreIsMyBFF · 28/07/2016 22:34

You saw the thread about the baby in a car park. You wanted a little bit of that attention for yourself. Admit it 🙁

PacificDogwod · 28/07/2016 22:34

The OP seems to have toddles off Hmm

Of course there are shades of grey.
It all depends on the children, the circumstances etc etc.
I find these enquiries in AIBU a pointless as none of us were there, none of us know the kids/the car/the car seats/how salubrious or not the location was etc etc.

The 7 minutes still crack me up Grin

thisisafakename · 28/07/2016 22:36

Very little is right or wrong, and there are always shades of grey. If you don't get that then you think like a child, in black and white.
For example: leaving your kids in an unlocked car in the middle of the night outside a crack den....definitely on the wrong side. Leaving your sleeping child on your gated driveway in a small village, with plenty of air....definitely on the right side

In both cases, it was a supermarket car park in the day time. Where are the shades of grey between those situations- other than the fact that you took a dislike to this OP? Is it safe or not to leave a baby/small child unattended in a supermarket car park while you shop? When the OP in the other thread called 101, they immediately put her through to 999. So law enforcement agencies seem to think it's wrong....

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 28/07/2016 22:37

It's such a non thread too.

I almost rescued some children from mortal peril... except I couldn't because they weren't

Keep cruising those mean streets op. I for one feel much safer you're out there, keeping us all safe with your camera phone and your trigger happy finger.

AWaspOnAWindowInAHeatwave · 28/07/2016 22:39

This must be the billionth goady thread this week about leaving kids in cars. It's the second one tonight that's been started and abandoned by the OP.

OP, kindly come back and tell us how you knew the kids were 3 and 1?

FreedomIsInPeril · 28/07/2016 22:41

In both cases, it was a supermarket car park in the day time. Where are the shades of grey between those situations- other than the fact that you took a dislike to this OP? Is it safe or not to leave a baby/small child unattended in a supermarket car park while you shop

I gave the same answer on both threads, actually, I don't have a problem with it in either case. But again, was one a very busy car park in the warmer south east, and the other a very quiet one in the north of Scotland. Who knows? Always grey areas....

Swipe left for the next trending thread