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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids left in car while mum shops in Lidl

120 replies

Talawrence · 28/07/2016 19:35

This morning I arrived at Lidl just before 8am. Another car pulled up beside me. The parent parked up leaving 2 very small kids ( 3 & 1 yr old) in the car unattended . I took my time to get my own child out of the car and observed the kids left alone . After 7 mins I took a photo of the unattended children in the car and the front number plate. Just then the mother came out and was confrontational. She said she was running late for work . I told her that she should use common sense and I will be reporting her to the police . Shall I delete the photos or report this parent .

OP posts:
SleepFreeZone · 28/07/2016 20:31

I think the point is that the OP didn't know the lady was going to be gone for 7 minutes. I assume she took the photo and was then planking in teporting her but she then returned.

I think delete the photo and then let it go as in sure she is pretty shaken by the confrontation and will reconsider doing it again in the future.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 28/07/2016 20:31

I think its totally wrong to leave children as young as this in the car alone for that length of time but I don't know what I'd do in your circumstances op, sorry.

Atinybittiredandsad · 28/07/2016 20:31

Gosh you sound a bit ott. Taking photos of the kids was wierd. The police won't be interested.

You may get your face punched if you keep photographing strangers kids.

SleepFreeZone · 28/07/2016 20:31
  • planning
VeryBitchyRestingFace · 28/07/2016 20:31

What if the car had exploded or a meteor had landed slap bang in the centre of the roof?

What if an escaped rhino had lumbered into the car park?

What if the ice caps had chosen that very moment to melt entirely??

As you were, OP.

SharonfromEON · 28/07/2016 20:32

I am shocked at the response..The op knows it was at least 7 mins.. I have never been to a Lidl you could see car from..I don;t think yABU op

LyndaNotLinda · 28/07/2016 20:35

She left the children for seven minutes at 8am. Get a fucking grip.

Jesus people. There is real shit going on in the world. If you care about children - give 10% of your weekly shopping budget and put it in the food bank bin at the supermarket.

This is being a self-righteous judgey-pants busybody. It's not about caring.

Kids left in car while mum shops in Lidl
FeeFighter · 28/07/2016 20:37

I had to do this last week. My kids have chicken pox, I had ran out of nappies, and no family to mind the kids. I was 4 or 5 minutes and could see the car. I also work full time and it is hectic in the morning.

Get a grip. Whilst not ideal it happens. Much better to sit there and wIt till parent gets back if you are worried.

If I'd come back and seen that I'd have taken a photo of you taking a photo of my kids and sent that to the police. I suspect they would consider a stranger taking unsolicited photos of kids more serious than a parent leaving their child in a car for seven minutes.

GrumpyOldBag · 28/07/2016 20:38

What Lynda said.

ohidoliketobe · 28/07/2016 20:39

I'm curious as to what the fact it was outside a Lidl has to do with anything.

FeeFighter · 28/07/2016 20:39

Sharon how many Lidls do you go to and assess this?! I really think some people on here have far too much time on their hands!

bumsexatthebingo · 28/07/2016 20:40

No need to set up straw man arguments about meteors etc. Leaving a 1 yr old and 3 yr old in a car alone while you go to Lidl is shoddy parenting. Not shoddy enough that the police/ss would give it the time of day I doubt as they've got bigger fish to fry but the 1 yr old would have no idea that the parent would be back soon which could mean the 3 yr old would be having to try and console a screaming baby. Have also read of an occasion where a toddler managed to undo the handbrake when left alone in the car so I doubt many people would be giving the mum a pat on the back if their child rolled her car into yours. Not quote as exciting as spontaneous car combustion maybe but far more likely to happen.

DrunkenMissOrderly · 28/07/2016 20:40

I leave my kid in the car to keep the dog company!

MadamDeathstare · 28/07/2016 20:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thisisafakename · 28/07/2016 20:49

OP, it's hit and miss on here what sort of reaction you will get. There was another one where a woman spotted a baby on its own in a supermarket car park and called 999. She got a lot of sympathy, I think because she had hugged the mum and become visibly distressed herself. I can't understand the difference between the two really. I presume you would have called the police if you had seen the kids get into distress.

As for the people having a go at the OP, how was she to know the woman was only going to be 7 minutes? She could have been gone 20 minutes and she would not have been able to see the car from the shop. Is it also OK to nip across the road to the shop and leave your baby at home in your house? I am not necessarily saying it isn't, but it's a comparable situation, no? I think the OP probably did the right thing, waiting by the car (as the woman did in the previous post I referred to) to ensure that the children weren't harmed. And if the mum had been gone 20 minutes, having a photo of the car is probably sensible as it does point to a degree of neglect.

FWIW I don't think it''s something the mum should be prosecuted for or anything like that. It's just interesting the huge difference in reactions that you get on here, which I guess proves there is no right or wrong answer.

newshoes68 · 28/07/2016 20:49

So let's ignore these little 2 kids , turn a blind eye and be a good citizen

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe · 28/07/2016 20:54

Nobody said the op was wrong to watch the kids, nobody said it was great parenting to leave the kids in the car.

People are saying, now the op knows the kids are safe and that the mum really wasn't long, that reporting her to the police would be a total over reaction.

thisisafakename · 28/07/2016 20:55

I suspect they would consider a stranger taking unsolicited photos of kids more serious than a parent leaving their child in a car for seven minutes

I doubt that very much, if the reason she was taking the pictures was to report neglect. Making a dig about pedophilia is unhelpful. I completely understand that people do do this sort of thing and for good reason, but to pretend that there is zero risk involved is stupid.

FeeFighter · 28/07/2016 20:56

Nobody is saying don't be a good citizen. Instead of telling the OP telling the lady she would be reporting her to the police, why not just say to her that she wasvwaiting by her car to check the kids were OK as she was a bit worried after hearing some scary stories in the news about what can happen. Much more likely to get a good response.

FeeFighter · 28/07/2016 20:58

I'm not making a 'dig' about paedophila, I'm just saying taking photos is not good either.

thisisafakename · 28/07/2016 20:59

People are saying, now the op knows the kids are safe and that the mum really wasn't long, that reporting her to the police would be a total over reaction

Yeah, that's true. I wouldn't report her now. I don't think the OP was wrong to take photos though and the woman who left her kids in the car was in the wrong. I would be more reassured if she had given an apologetic explanation rather than bitten my head off though. Of course I would understand if people are late, stressed etc. However I wouldn't take kindly to 'fuck off and stop taking pictures of my kids you weirdo' if I had just been looking out for them.

Badbadtromance · 28/07/2016 20:59

Yabu

RosieandJim89 · 28/07/2016 21:02

Overheating is not the only reason not to leave children unattended. They may be are occurrences but cars can spontaneously set alight, a car could crash into theirs, someone could take the children...

FeeFighter · 28/07/2016 21:02

Of course it is wrong to take photos of the kids!! How freaked out must that 3 year be having some stranger at the front of their car taking photos?!

Nobody is saying it is good parenting but a complete overreaction and smacks of being a busybody not someone who was worried.

thisisafakename · 28/07/2016 21:02

I'm just saying taking photos is not good either

Generally, no. However, in order to gather evidence if this were a case of serious neglect (which OP didn't know at the time), it is sensible to do so. Would you advise against taking a picture of the car numberplate if a dog was shut in a car with no ventilation too? I would definitely do this as I would want there to be evidence in the event that the police became involved.