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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

More a 'Who is being unreasonable?'....

108 replies

Amy0039 · 28/07/2016 18:46

I take DS to the public swimming baths every week, we use the main pool for the most part, as the toddler pool is too shallow to practice his swimming in. At the time we go, half of the main pool is set up for lane swimming (lengths) the other half is free use. Most weeks there are people doing lengths in the 'free' half of the pool, which I don't have a problem with in itsself, but when I'm teaching DS to swim by doing widths with him, I often cross their path. I try to scootch out of their way, but I don't always see them as I'm walking backwards dragging DS. It's not always an issue, but a woman doing this earlier was very rude in telling me to get out of her way, and this isn't the first time I've had this response.

AIBU to expect people to use the lanes if they wants to swim lengths uninterrupted? Or am I being unreasonable expecting her not to use the 'free' half of the pool?

OP posts:
PurpleDaisies · 28/07/2016 18:49

I don't think you were being unreasonable. I swim in the lanes and it drives me mad when people aren't using them properly (there have been all sorts-people standing on the ropes, walking in the lanes, generally mucking around etc). The free swim bit is for doing whatever you want.

MrsTerryPratchett · 28/07/2016 18:51

SWBU not you. However swimming is really very territorial and odd.

WipsGlitter · 28/07/2016 18:52

Could you drag him up and down rather than across?

RoseRuby26 · 28/07/2016 18:52

Tricky. I would use the lanes of course but when they are busy it's very difficult. I want to do 50 lengths quickly and uninterrupted. I'd do my best to avoid you and I'd expect you to do the same.

happypoobum · 28/07/2016 18:53

YANBU. All you can do is keep pointing them in the direction of the lane swimming half.....

DeathStare · 28/07/2016 19:00

Swimming widths with him isn't unreasonable. Neither is her swimming lengths. Free use is free use.

Walking backwards is unreasonable. It could just as easily be someone swimming widths or a bunch of children playing who you walk into.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeG0es · 28/07/2016 19:01

Depends how busy each area is. I'm slow and if all the lanes are full of faster swimmers I tend to swim lengths in the non-lane half if it's quieter there. It would be annoying if one person was doing widths in an otherwise empty half of the pool. No problem with you taking up a "lane" to practice or play with a child, I would keep out of your way but rendering an entire half of the pool unusable for lengths so one child can do widths is a bit unreasonable. Can't you do half lengths instead? Or go in a free swimming session with no lanes in use?

Amy0039 · 28/07/2016 19:25

Didn't make it clear in my origina post, there was only one lane in use, and she was swimming straight up the middle of the free area. If she'd been near either edge I could just have cut the widths short to leave a free strip. I can't help but go backwards, it's the only way to keep him in his swimming position and going with the current. I've never bumped into anyone (yet!) but I do sometimes unintentionally end up in other people's path, as they do mine. It's just part of public swimming. It was the rudeness that irritated me. He's too little to do lengths with, he's only 20 weeks today, so not swimming on the surface yet, so I need to walk with him rather than swim. Mid week there are always lanes unless there are swimming lessons in progress, when the seep and shallow ends are closed off, leaving just a strip in the middle which is too deep for me to feel confident of my footing holding him.

OP posts:
MargotsDevil · 28/07/2016 19:47

Did you mean 20 months?! Surely 20 weeks is a bit young to be "practising swimming"!! Tbh until you mentioned the age I was all ready to say YANBU but if your child is really such a tiny baby then yes YABU.

Hissy · 28/07/2016 19:59

That woman swimming lengths needs to be in a lane.

I think you should say to her that if she wants to do lengths, it's safer for all that she gets in a lane. Any issue or failure to understand, talk to a life guard. You have more right to potter about in the general swim area than she does doing lengths.

I saw similar the other day, 2 women faffing about doing lengths in the general swim section. It's not fair on anyone. When i had finished my lanes session I went to general swim to be with my son and his friend and yeah it did hamper these women, but they are in an area that's not sectioned off for lanes. Tough tits.

Amy0039 · 28/07/2016 20:40

No he's 20 weeks, he's been going for swimming lessons since he was 3weeks but the term has finished until September, so I've been doing most of what he does in class by ourselves at the public pool so he doesn't get out of the habit. It's a long time to go when he's as young as he is, I don't want to set him back.

OP posts:
ChicRock · 28/07/2016 20:43

He's 20 weeks old and the toddler pool is too shallow for him to practice his 'swimming' in Grin yeah right, ok.

YABU.

Amy0039 · 28/07/2016 20:47

He does swim actually! Just not on the surface yet. And the water isn't too shallow for him, it's too shallow for me to walk in while supporting him

OP posts:
Magstermay · 28/07/2016 21:04

I was going to say YANBU but ivechanged my mind now I've read the age of your son! At 20 weeks he can go in the toddler pool, you just have to bend down to support him - we've managed to do that for 2.5 years since my DS started at 11 weeks...

Familyof3or4 · 28/07/2016 21:53

Yanbu but people are so odd about swimming. I was at a pool with dh once when he was swimming up and down in a lane and a man got in the pool just in front of him then got cross when my dh almost swam into him and then told my dh that dh was in 'his' bit of the pool Confused

monkeywithacowface · 28/07/2016 21:57

Don't want to set him back? You had me until that line OP

NeedACleverNN · 28/07/2016 22:00

Just take him in the toddler pool!

Every other parent does

HeddaGarbled · 28/07/2016 22:05

OMFG, swimming lessons from 3 weeks of age and you want to keep practising over the summer holidays because you "don't want to set him back"? Just relax and don't put so much pressure on the both of you. Let him have a bit of splashy fun in the toddler pool.

Paintedhandprints · 28/07/2016 22:09
Confused
Vlier · 28/07/2016 22:09

If you pay to use the pools free swimming area then you should be able to use it as you like. Regardless of what you are trying to achieve.

Scarydinosaurs · 28/07/2016 22:18

Why can't he do this in the toddler pool?

Scarydinosaurs · 28/07/2016 22:20

If you are "dragging" him (your words) he isn't swimming.

If you don't swim on the surface, wtf do you swim?

Why can't you do it in the toddler pool if you are just walking up and down with him? Because you'd have to crouch down?? You are being hugely unreasonable.

wineoclockthanks · 28/07/2016 22:44

Since he was 3 weeks? could he hold his head up?
I was advised to wait until mine had had their first 3 inoculations before taking them to a public pool

Amy0039 · 28/07/2016 22:51

He swims under the water. The lessons are in a hydrotherapy pool, so suitable from birth.

Our toddler pool is an activity pool rather than a shallow swimming pool, so the only bit deep enough to move freely about in has sprinklers and tipping buckets above it.

I'm obviously not up on swimming etiquette, I was of the opinion that if you're in the open part of the pool, people are going to get in your way sometimes, you just have to get over it, but obviously not.

I was simply asking about opinions about politeness of using a public pool, I wasn't really asking for comments on whether or not people thought baby swimming lessons were a good idea or not. FWOW we do move over into the toddler pool after for him to 'have some splashy fun'.

I appreciate the comments though, perhaps I'll start try first thing on a morning to see if it's any quieter rather than going after the baby clinic so there's less people for us to be in the way of :-)

I didn't mean to come off as entitled, I was genuinely wondering, I've not long since started going into the water, at all, and I was primarily having 1:1 lessons with just myself and my instructor in a smaller pool that was privetely hired so it's all new to me :-)

OP posts:
SillyQu · 28/07/2016 23:02

You are joking aren't you? 20 weeks! My DD has swum twice a week for a year and she's nowhere near ready for the big pool!

Let the poor baby enjoy the water!