Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

More a 'Who is being unreasonable?'....

108 replies

Amy0039 · 28/07/2016 18:46

I take DS to the public swimming baths every week, we use the main pool for the most part, as the toddler pool is too shallow to practice his swimming in. At the time we go, half of the main pool is set up for lane swimming (lengths) the other half is free use. Most weeks there are people doing lengths in the 'free' half of the pool, which I don't have a problem with in itsself, but when I'm teaching DS to swim by doing widths with him, I often cross their path. I try to scootch out of their way, but I don't always see them as I'm walking backwards dragging DS. It's not always an issue, but a woman doing this earlier was very rude in telling me to get out of her way, and this isn't the first time I've had this response.

AIBU to expect people to use the lanes if they wants to swim lengths uninterrupted? Or am I being unreasonable expecting her not to use the 'free' half of the pool?

OP posts:

AyeAmarok · 29/07/2016 07:33

WellErrr · 29/07/2016 07:35

This is crazy.

OP, please save this thread and read it back to yourself in a few years. Dragging a baby up and down a pool 'teaching him to swim' then letting him relax in the toddler pool at the end is batshit, in the nicest possible way.

LyndaNotLinda · 29/07/2016 07:41

honking - if a nappy holds in every particle of poo, I'd be very surprised. Particularly a sloppy 20 week old EBF one

That's what baby pools are for. Plus they're easier/cheaper to drain when there are inevitable nappy malfunctions.

honkinghaddock · 29/07/2016 07:43

So what about incontinent adults or older children do they go in the toddler pool?

MaudlinNamechange · 29/07/2016 07:46

OP - SIBU for being so grumpy about people doing their own thing in the "free swimming" bit

YABU for being so earnest and annoying, including walking backwards in widths. People stolidly going backwards and not changing their trajectory (because they can't see them, because they are going backwards) is so annoying in the free swimming bit.

here are the rules:

lanes are for swimming up and down in straight lines. people aren't getting in each others way too badly because everyone's following the same straight lines

free swimming is for doing whatever you fancy but keeping an eye out for all the other people doing random things and adapting your randomness to staying out of their way. It is not for stolidly plugging along and expecting others to get out of your way.

both of you ABU for expecting to follow a rigid plan in the free swimming bit.

OP - I pity your son when he is actually doing SATs or something. Lighten up.

LyndaNotLinda · 29/07/2016 07:50

I've never seen an incontinent adult in the pool. I have however seen my friend's 2 year old do a shit in the pool and the whole pool be put out of action for the rest of the day while they cleaned it out so I think the incontinence issue is a consideration.

In any event, babies don't belong in the swimming pool which is for swimming, not being dragged back and forth by your parent who isn't looking where they're going.

I think the fact that this isn't the first time the OP has experienced someone being really pissed off with her pool performance speaks volumes.

trafalgargal · 29/07/2016 07:52

Now the school's have broken up all bets will be off anyway and the lane swimmers will be fighting for space with school age kids so going early if you want to treat a public pool like a private pool will probably be better and safer.

honkinghaddock · 29/07/2016 07:56

You wouldn't know if an adult is incontinent. Ds is incontinent. He goes swimming.

MLGs · 29/07/2016 07:57

Yanbu about use of the "free" bit of the pool generally - it's not solely for uninterrupted length swimming so she shouldn't have had a go at you. Also she was silly not to keep to one side.

But 20weeks does seem a bit young to be worrying about his progress. I don't think that's the point of the thread though.

honkinghaddock · 29/07/2016 07:58

Well not actual swimming because he can't swim but he likes being in the pool as do many other incontinent adults and children.

MLGs · 29/07/2016 08:00

Agree you need to keep an eye out too though and not just walk backwards obliviously.

LyndaNotLinda · 29/07/2016 08:07

I'm sure he does honking. But he's not a baby so the adult/older children pool is the right place for him to be.

I'm sorry if I offended you. It was an off the cuff remark made at 3am and I wouldn't have made it if I'd had more than 3 hours sleep at the time. I apologise to your DS and all the other incontinent older children and adults who are of course perfectly within their rights to enjoy being in the pool as much as anyone who has complete bowel control.

ChocChocPorridge · 29/07/2016 08:08

YANBU - it's free swim, and you don't want to be cranked over in the toddler pool, of course you need to be in the bit where you are warm under the water but still able to keep your footing.

I live outside the UK, and toddler pools only exist in holiday places - otherwise all pools are deep enough to do what you want (water polo is popular). DS1 and 2 go to swimming lessons at the local water polo place - all the swimming instructors use a pool noodle to give themselves buoyancy - none of the kids wear arm bands (DS2 is 2, and it's fine) - if you get yourself some floatation, then you could perhaps give yourself the ability to go a bit deeper if you wanted? (not that you are under any obligation to do so)

Bovneydazzlers · 29/07/2016 08:11

There was a lack of respect on both parts. She shouldn't have talked to you like that...

But there is no reason on earth why you couldn't be walking half lengths rather than widths, would have made no difference to you and your baby. Technically you are in your rights to do widths but just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

FWIW, my son is now 3 and just started lessons. There is no difference between those who have been paying £15 a week for the last 3 years and those who had only just started. A bit of splashing in a pool every so often to keep water confidence seems to do the trick. Pretty sure the people who are saying 'don't stop taking your baby, he will lose it's instincts' are those with the vested interests (and why not, baby swim classes are lucrative!)

eatsleephockeyrepeat · 29/07/2016 08:20

Long has given some excellent advice, however this made me laugh:

no, I'm saying they have exactly the same chance of survival, but the child who can swim is far more likely to be in the water in the first place.

Attention! People who can ski more likely to die in skiing accident! In order to reduce likelihood of skiing related death DO NOT learn to ski, as you will be 100% less likely to be skiing in the first place if you CAN'T.

Yes, yes, I'm just having a bit of fun :P But seriously, you can't say kids how can swim are just as likely to drown simply because they're MORE likely to be in water. That's not even anything to do with overconfidence, that's misunderstanding statistics.

eatsleephockeyrepeat · 29/07/2016 08:22

Oh and OP, YANBU. Not to be doing widths, not for being in the "adult" pool, not to be taking your 20 week old swimming and not for wanting to keep it up during your break from lessons.You go for it.

diddl · 29/07/2016 08:23

Why don't you just go for fun at that age?

Sounds ridiculously regimented.

Isn't about 4/5 the best age for learning to swim.

I think that YABU.

Why not go lengthways also?

Longlost10 · 29/07/2016 08:24

that's misunderstanding statistics, no I understand the statistics. Its obvious that almost all drowning deaths are going to be swimmers. But if you compare whether swimmer or non swimmer children are more likely to fall into water by accident, then swimmers are be a long chalk. And if you look at survival rates between swimming and non swimming children who fall into water by accident, then there is no significant difference.

Longlost10 · 29/07/2016 08:27

One very important thing I forgot to say about the drowning reflexes, is the victim will automatically grasp anything within reach, and if this is another human, and that person is out of their depth, both are likely to drown.

This is why it is vital to use an object for the victim to grasp, not your body, ideally a flotation aid, but anything really, stick, piece of clothing, etc.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 29/07/2016 08:29

Honestly, some of you would start a row in an empty phone box!

Amy YANBU

The lanes are there for lane swimming - ergo, she wants to lane swim, she needs to move into one of the empty LANES.

You don't need to alter what you are doing in any way & you don't need to justify YOUR decision re YOUR baby swimming or anything else, to anyone else. Just enjoy what you are doing with your DS!

eatsleephockeyrepeat · 29/07/2016 08:29

Any water you can fall into by accident is likely to be pretty deadly for anyone, swimmer or not. I'm pretty sure it's good to teach your kids to swim so that if they're in a situation where swimming could save their life they would have that skill available to them. Not for situations - like falling into dangerous water - which you've rightly pointed out wouldn't be any safer for a swimmer or non-swimmer regardless!

Ditsy4 · 29/07/2016 08:33

Reflex
Amy is right about this and babies lose it at about 9 mths.

I don't know why some posters a re being unpleasant Amy but you always find this on Mumsnet unfortunately.
I don't think you are being unreasonable. The lanes are for swimming and anyone not swimming up and down should be prepared to stop. I used to when I went. If it was busy and I was slow then I sometimes swam in the other bit but I always. Looked out for and stopped for others. She was being unnecessarily rude and unreasonable in my opinion.
I took one of my children at an early age and we swam in the main pool with them during the lesson. The other two were at school so it was a good time and several of us went together from our village. They started at about four months.
My life long friend worked at another pool and his daughter could swim the length of the pool at nine months unaided. She was in the local paper and then the Nationals got hold of it. She was a real water baby and loved it.
She swam under water just coming up for a breathe and could retrieve am toy from the bottom of the shallow end. The photos of her were amazing.
I started teaching my daughter a bit later than her brother but she was swimming confidently at three with no arm bands. We went to France on holiday and she was swimming every day and she just took them off and off she went.
There are no hard and fast rules although it is sad to see 7 year olds terrified of the water at their first school swimming lesson and I have seen one child only have two lessons because he refused to get in the pool.
Enjoy swimming with your baby Amy.

NeedACleverNN · 29/07/2016 08:38

Is this your PFB by any chance OP?

I wonder where you got that idea from?

toptoe · 29/07/2016 08:38

swbu. The free pool is for everyone.

It's like trolleys in supermarkets and cars behind cyclists. Some people can't stand the needs of others when it directly conflicts with their needs.

RedMapleLeaf · 29/07/2016 08:59

I'll start try first thing on a morning to see if it's any quieter

Yes, the early morning crew are likely to be far more tolerant

Flip

1 2 3 4 5