would you believe ds (5) or the childminder? childminer took ds and the children elsewhere

[user1469643462]

It is the summer holidays so ds has to be with a childminer, for 3 days a week. I pay her for the actual care she provides, then i pay for any visits to places on top of that, they were supposed to be going to the zoo today and i had paid £21 for ds's zoo ticket and i know that isnt loads but tbh with the cost i had already paid for her to look after him it was almost today's wages! ds goes there with 2 boys and a little girl aswell all around the same age give or take. Ds got home and was telling me all about his trip to the local museum (which was free) i did not have a problem with that he seemed to have had a great time. I phoned up the childminder and asked if she could just paypal the money back over and she said that she had no idea what i was going on about and that she took them to the zoo I know children do love to use their imagination, so i was a bit undecided, ds kept going on about the objects he had seen and told me a story about a man showing them the kids bit. ds has never been to this museum and it was just odd how well he was explaining it. I would love to phone the other parents but tbh i dont actually know them! it's all very odd...

She would need more evidence of her visit for expenses claims than a leaflet. She would need a receipt and she will have taken photos but only if she's a Ofsted registered cm.

Is she op? Sorry if that's been already covered

Yes, definitely agree with pp suggestions of taking him to the entrances of both places and see which he recognises. Of course, he might not recognise either but it's worth a try! Good luck, OP, must be driving you batty!

I know a lot of childminders (as my DH is one!) and I do not know a single one that wouldn't take at least one photo. Thats what is making me suspicious.

I was originally on the fence but the leaflet and the day mix up has totally swayed me to believing your child.

But at this point it is neither here nor there. You believe the childminder and continue. You disbelieve the childminder but decide to keep your son with her and advise her in advance that you would like photos and receipts, bearing in mind you will doubt everything else she says. You disbelieve the minder and look for alternative childcare.

If the other parents knew their child enjoyed/didn't enjoy the day, what did the childminder say to you? Surely she must've mentioned something about the day.

What does a leaflet prove?
Ask her for photos.

You can get the leaflet through the door or at the library or the museum etc

Sounds like they went on a different day.

No kid forgets going to the zoo

Leave it now; it's getting silly.

Mum 1 says her ds went to the zoo but didn't enjoy it. Ergo he went to the zoo.
Mum 2 says they went to the zoo and her dd enjoyed it. She then says something about Tuesdays.

Maybe Mum 2 was thinking that on Tuesday they did something which your ds (and the other boy) would have enjoyed more.

You may never know.

Leave it. Wait and see. If anything else similar happens then do something. In the meantime you have childcare and your ds likes going.

It'a possible that the CM has memory problems or early onset Alzheimers. It sounds like she needs a visit to the doctor. IIWM I'd think about changing my CM. I know that isn't easy.

I would write off the £21 now and find another childminder. You don't trust her (and I don't blame you) but it's getting silly now.

Or if you do continue with this childminder, insist on a receipt for any paid outings in future.

Report her to the fraud squad & demand all CCTV footage of the zoo & museum.

I reckon this thread will be the Daily Fail by bedtime - I wonder if the childminder will see it?!

A leaflet doesn't prove anything unless there's a dated receipt or similar attached to it.

Most touristy places we've been to don't have "special" leaflets that you can only get if you pay. Even if it was the sort of leaflet you only get when entering the attraction, it wouldn't prove that she'd gone with your son, just that she'd been there herself at some point.

If you do continue with this childminder, I'd be asking in advance for copies of receipts / photos for any future trips out where you're asked to pay extra.

why completely lie to me when I phoned up to ask? She also must have lied to the other boy's mum too

Is it possible that the CM has simply mixed up the boys/ which boy belongs to which parent? Wee kids do all look the same...

So by the sounds of it they went to the zoo on Tuesday and therefore your DS didn't go.

Another thing that strikes me is odd that is that if the zoo costs £22 for kids and say £40 for an adult and the CM was taking 4 kids, as a parent I would expect to pay £32 for the zoo visit. £22 for my kid's admission fee and £10 for a quarter share of the CM's admission fee.

Perhaps that is just me though???

Either:
She took your son to the zoo, he didn't like it so he's pretending he didn't go (ostrich effect).
She didn't take him, but took others and she's trying to max out the income from it.
She took him to the museum and got mixed up with who went where and is too embarrassed to admit it.
She's ripping you off.

Ask her a direct, closed question -"Did you take DS to the zoo on Wednesday (or whichever day it was), as he is adamant he hasn't been to the zoo and it's driving me mad?"

Follow up question if she answers yes would be "please can I have pics of his outings for his album in future?"

Is it possible that the CM has simply mixed up the boys/ which boy belongs to which parent? Wee kids do all look the same...

That's reassuring especially if she's taking them out to places like the zoo, full of kids that 'all look the same'.

The leaflet makes it more suspicious.

Ok placemarking - I've rtft and now the leaflet would actually make me more suspicious, almost like she knows you're suspecting something and thought a leaflet would be enough to prove they went. Then the comment from the other parent would really make me question her as I would take that to mean her son went to the zoo on Tuesday, enjoyed it and it's a shame your son doesn't go on a Tuesday as he would enjoy it too. All very strange. Definitely try and chat to the other mums again

NavyandWhite no I think the that was just an example for easy numbers. The point being, why wasn't the CM's admission price included in the amount asked of parents?

But unhappy boy's mum may not have asked her son about the zoo. She might be going on the basis of what the CM told her they'd be doing.

I think the CM made an honest mistake and thought your son would be there on zoo-day but is now covering up and making things loads worse.

Can you say to CM that you're trying to work with DS on accurately remembering things and he's adamant that he hasn't been to the zoo, so can she help you "prove" to him?

this is beginning to make my head hurt. You need to call her up and have a frank conversation with this CM, no need to wait until Monday, ask her now!

Child minder probably has a yearly pass as it works out much cheaper.

Or she may have brought the online tickets and then added her ticket price, as I've just had a look and some days it's £16 for kids and £20 for adults, so £20/4 is £5 so that would be £21?? Or she paid on the day which is £22 but that's odd and the OP said she paid £21...?

Sorry! I was lurking but thought I'd put that suggestion out there