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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Apparently I'm tight for not letting DD have a yoghurt instead of her tea!

110 replies

TheUnsullied · 27/07/2016 16:55

She's 2.3. It's a tea she's eaten many times before and a favourite of mine because of the veg hiding potential...chilli con carne with some wholemeal pita bread. She normally wolfs it. She decided not to even touch it, which is fine.

5 minutes later she's asked for a yoghurt. I've said no. If she'd eaten any of her tea she could have had one but she's not having one instead of a meal. I've given her tea back to her and a tantrum has ensued.

I think this is fairly run of the mill with a toddler. DFriend is making out that it's cruel to not give a yoghurt to her because she's not eaten.

OP posts:
imwithspud · 27/07/2016 17:54

If another adult said 'eat it if your hungry you will' - would you?

Yogurt police, inflammatory much?Hmm

Children aren't adults so your point is irrelevant.

Dutchcourage · 27/07/2016 18:01

It was a joke imwith no need to get all annoyed over it Grin

Are kids not allowed not to fancy something or is that only reserved for grown ups?

Maybebabybee · 27/07/2016 18:05

Ok let's be sensible here. It's clearly not "cruel" for the op not to give her child a yoghurt.

Maybe your parenting style is different and you would give the yoghurt. Good for you.

The OP is just doing what she considers best for her child. Nowt wrong with that.

Discobabe · 27/07/2016 18:06

In principle yanbu. However I'd allow certain foods if tea was refused, toast, cereal etc and I would allow yoghurt personally. I wouldn't allow choc, cakes etc.

Notso · 27/07/2016 18:06

If the yoghurt was pudding then I would still give it. I don't bribe mine to eat with sweet stuff. They run the risk of pudding being nothing though.

Dutchcourage · 27/07/2016 18:06

ah I'm glad your being sensible maybe - good for you Wink

imwithspud · 27/07/2016 18:07

Of course they can but they also need to realise that they can't just demand what they want when they 'don't feel' like eating what's given to them. It's a kitchen not a restaurant.

Lulu1083 · 27/07/2016 18:07

Dutchcourage you never made any issues of out food and your 21 year old eats anything. Well done you. But you later say that you let your 3 year old skip dinner and eat cereal and they won't have anything brown on their plate as it's offensive? Confused missed that out didn't you!

And yes, I do eat things I don't fancy all the time if DH has cooked because I'm not rude enough to turn my nose up!

user1468166567 · 27/07/2016 18:10

My 14yr old Stepson has been allowed to refuse food all his life. He now only eats;

Plain Pasta
Chicken Nuggets
Chips
Pepperoni Pizza
Chicken (Plain no skin)
Bread
Red Sauce
Sweets
Crisps

His Mother also gives him vitamins and has done since he was very young to compensate. He now sees this as totally normal and when offered something NOT on the above list says "I don't eat that, I have vitamins though as I don't eat fruit or veg so its OK"

It really grips my shit. When his brother will gladly eat anything - I tried to get him to eat what we had the other night (Homemade burger) and he looked at it as if I had served him dog shit! So he went without, asked for a pizza I said no. He then ate a bread roll & tomato sauce and wanted sweets, crisps & Ice cream later which I refused.

So I do NOT think you are being unreasonable please do not enable a fussy eater like we have!

Original poster
TheUnsullied · 27/07/2016 18:10

For the few posters asking whether I eat something when I don't fancy it...if it's been made and I'm hungry then yes. I'm not in a position where I can waste food all the time. I meal plan.

Anyway, she's eaten some now and has asked for a banana so has clearly forgotten about yoghurt for the time being Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
TheUnsullied · 27/07/2016 18:13

Notso, I don't bribe her to eat. She doesn't need bribing. She doesn't have to finish a meal to get something after it. But nor can she say she wants something sugary instead of her meal.

OP posts:
Dutchcourage · 27/07/2016 18:16

lulu I don't get your point?

My 21 year old old will eat anything as she is an adult. My THREE year old doesn't like brown coloured food. She is allowed to feel like this because she is THREE. It really isn't a big deal. As she gets older y'know as she is THREE, her preferences will change again. It's no biggy.

Yep we both had cereal for tea. It nice and light as its a little warm here. Don't get your point there either.

If you eat food that you don't want to eat - that's your issue love. Maybe if you were given a bit of choice when you were younger you sound feel so bad about not wanting it.

Dutchcourage · 27/07/2016 18:17

Wouldn't **

Dutchcourage · 27/07/2016 18:19

user does his brother live with him? Because that sounds more like a control issue rather than food aversion or dislike.

goose1964 · 27/07/2016 18:25

do you have palin yoghurt? you's be surprised how sugary some are, I saw one in Tesco tday with no added sugar blazed across it ,as I diabetic this caught my eye but when I checked the ingredients it had loads of honey in it & the sugar content was the same as "ordinary" sweetened ones..

If you give in repeatedly you are in danger of your daughter becoming a fussy eater

Mycraneisfixed · 27/07/2016 18:26

I offer toast before bed as I'd hate any child to go to bed hungry, but I wouldn't give an extra yoghurt.

Lulu1083 · 27/07/2016 18:27

Haha no it's called manners 'love'. I don't feel bad at all, it's just food and I'll make what I want when it's my turn to cook. I was never made to eat things I didn't like so no issues there.

At what age will you stop your 3 year old turning down food because of its colour?
You might carry on letting your kids eat what they want, hope it works out for you. There's a few posters on this thread who have pointed out what can happen when this is allowed though.

user1468166567 · 27/07/2016 18:29

Durchcourage (not sure why I am down as User? is it a MN thing?)

Anyway yes - they live with their Mother who is in fact very controlling, (whole other thread) and unlike his brother (who is quite intelligent for his age and has worked out what his Mom is like) he cant see it...very sad IMO.

Dutchcourage · 27/07/2016 18:34

In extreme circumstances lulu MN is not the holy grail of parenting, its a tiny snipet of RL.

I'm pretty confident dd will start to eat brown foods when she is ready. She really went off peppa pig a few months back but now it's back up there with her favourites again Wink

Maybebabybee · 27/07/2016 18:36

Cereal is a terrible dinner nutritionally.

strawberrybootlace · 27/07/2016 18:37

Personally I wouldn't provide an alternative either. Unless she was teething and wanted a cooling yoghurt instead of chilli for example.

YANBU.

Dutchcourage · 27/07/2016 18:38

I'm not sure have you recently joined?

It may be down to him controlling small things that he is able too. Even though that must be really grating for you I'd just try and ignore it. My friends son would only eat dry cooked pasta when he visited his father as he was so stressed out when there , it became a comfort to him. Not saying that your dss is stressed at yours !

Dutchcourage · 27/07/2016 18:41

maybe meh - swings and round abouts. We like to live on the wild side here sometimes Grin

Dh will be having a bacon sandwhich when he gets in from work Shock

We are having a new kitchen fitted, it's too hot and I'm pregnant so using that as an excuse too Wink

Original poster
TheUnsullied · 27/07/2016 18:44

I'm quite surprised at how many people would cave to a whim of a toddler and give a neither filling nor nutritious alternative to a proper meal at the first sign of an objection.

She gets treats. She just doesn't get them as meals.

OP posts:
Dutchcourage · 27/07/2016 18:46

So every meal you eat has a good nutritional value?

Come on ? Grin