Apparently I'm tight for not letting DD have a yoghurt instead of her tea!

[TheUnsullied]

She's 2.3. It's a tea she's eaten many times before and a favourite of mine because of the veg hiding potential...chilli con carne with some wholemeal pita bread. She normally wolfs it. She decided not to even touch it, which is fine.

5 minutes later she's asked for a yoghurt. I've said no. If she'd eaten any of her tea she could have had one but she's not having one instead of a meal. I've given her tea back to her and a tantrum has ensued.

I think this is fairly run of the mill with a toddler. DFriend is making out that it's cruel to not give a yoghurt to her because she's not eaten.

Also have a 2.3yo and as long as I have the willpower I do the same as you OP. He definitely knows what he is doing/when he's being cheeky.

I would offer fruit or a rice cake later, only because he doesn't really like toast.

You did the right thing op

My mum did the relaxed thing with my fussy brother she did it one to many times and now at 9 he can't bear to sit with a plate of food he "doesn't fancy" in front of him. He literally squirms and cries until she gives in and gives him a dairylea sandwich. It's pathetic .

I have 2 boundary pushers, I must seem like a right bitch but they'll trample me into the ground otherwise!!

I want a yoghurt now! misses the point of thread......

no wonder theres so many picky eaters about reading this thread. I would let her get down from the table and play, no pressure. I'd tell her that when shes hungry, she can eat the chilli. She doesn't have to eat it all, just needs to eat till full enough. I wouldn't be offering alternatives unless she absolutely hated chilli. I think there have been only 5 dishes my children really truly hate. They eat all sorts of adult type dishes and are quite interested in food.

shes probably just not hungry with the heat, so maybe leave eating the chilli for another hour?

Can't you suggest that she eats say three spoons of the tea and then she can have the yogurt?

Orange that's basically what we do. No pressure to eat or clear their plates, but I don't pander and make alternatives. If they're hungry they can eat what's given unless it's something they genuinely don't like, or if it's a new dish I'm trying out that they don't like after giving it a try.

Yoghurt is dariy and sugar usually so in my view pretty close to a junk food. Just never serve yoghurts again and she'll eat the proper food when she's hungry.

I don't have picky eaters at all, I mean seriously. They only thing they don't eat is avocados.

I'm pretty strict but as they eat well so much of the time, if they come to the table and say they don't feel like it, I would ask them to have two small mouthfuls, because may lead to them wanting to eat it all, if it doesn't, then I'd be fine with them having a yoghurt. I reckon this has happened maybe 4x in last two years... Both preceding illness.

I think you are right OP. And 2 year olds are very capable of learning rules. They are learning so much at this age. Yoghurt is junk food in reality.

I'd not give her a yoghurt. If she's hungry she can eat her tea, not a dessert.

I always did what you just did, it's not the end of the world if a child skips a meal anyway, never made mine wake in the night or extra early for food.
But he does usually eat table foods really well and doesn't bother pissing around refusing things, there is no insentive. At Grandmothers on the other hand there would always be a yogurt on standby and she is convinced he is a fussy eater.
Did everybody miss the part where the op said pitta was on the side? that is light, and cools extremely quickly fine for a summer day if she can't face chilli.

She probably needs to eat something, and a yoghurt isn't the worst thing she could have - I'd give it to her personally, as she's still very young and isn't really ready for 'consequences' lessons just yet. But well done for getting her to eat home-cooked wholesome stuff usually - I love chilli but my DS won't touch anything containing veg at the moment.🙁

Your tight!!

I never made an issue out of food and m eldest 21 will eat anything now. She could also climb though a letter box.

We were having a pie and veg for tea but myself and dd2 (3) have just had a bowl of cereals instead. (I'm 26 weeks pregnant though )

I would do the same as you tbh.
Maybe she doesn't fancy the chilli but I personally wouldn't get into the habit of offering alternatives.
If she was hungry she would eat it (as you say she normally likes it) if it was something she hadn't tried before and didn't like it or want to try it I would just say that's ok and ignore, and then offer some toast before bed.
It could be boundary testing or it could be that she doesn't fancy it, either way in my house we don't just eat sugary yoghurt for dinner unless too poorly to eat.

Also my three year old finds anything brown offensive! Brown is not allowed to touch her plate! (Unless it's gravy!)

I don't think it's worth getting into power struggles over food. If you don't want to give her a yoghurt, I can understand that. But after a bit I might offer something like a cup of milk and a banana.

So do all you yogurt police always eat what you don't fancy?

If another adult said 'eat it if your hungry you will' - would you?

I hate it too when grown adults make out you are cruel to be parenting properly, just because a child tantrums over something.
The child should be the only source of stress there not bystanders.

For as many people that agree with you,there will be as many that don't....it's yr child.do what you think is best

Agree with petal ^^ really.

She wouldn't really understand that approach yet Persian. Hopefully she will soon.

The tide seems to be turning more to my way of thinking now, which is reassuring DD is far from underweight (she's actually a little big for her age) so it's not like I starve her.

I don't think you were being mean OP. However:

Yoghurt is dariy and sugar usually so in my view pretty close to a junk food.

On what planet is dairy a junk food??