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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell my friend her 8 year old wrote on DD's bedroom door

30 replies

TheSconeOfStone · 26/07/2016 19:11

Discovered a week after the event by another friend of DD's who was staying over. The name of a pop star they were listening to scribbled in pen on the bottom corner of the door, side facing the wall when door open.

DD's sleep over friend noticed when she was lying on the blow up mattress. DD said it must have been friend from last week and sleep over friend confirmed the handwriting. DD had left her friend colouring while she went to the toilet.

The door is stripped wood so we can't get the pen out (any tips for this welcome).

I don't want to ban DD's friend from the house and I get on with the mum. Do I say anything? Children are aged 8.

OP posts:
Smartiepants79 · 26/07/2016 19:18

I think it's far too late to say anything. It's only going to cause bad feeling. You can't prove it was her so you can't really accuse her.
I'd just chalk it up to experience and maybe no unsupervised colouring for a while.

DurhamDurham · 26/07/2016 19:21

I wouldn't say anything now, you've missed you moment. If you do say something what are you hoping to achieve? Not being unkind just wondering, I doubt the mum will offer to replace the door for you.

Becky546 · 26/07/2016 19:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Smartiepants79 · 26/07/2016 19:21

Banning her would be a massive overreaction in my book.
Just keep a better eye on her next time. Maybe come up with a way of letting her know you know but without accusing her.
"I'm afraid there can't be any colouring in the bedroom this time cos some people have been so silly and done some damage.... Aren't some people silly" said with a pointed look!

OurBlanche · 26/07/2016 19:22

Ask her mum if she has any tips on getting it off... she may be a scribbler at home too!

I have used bicarbonate of soda before: mix with enough water to make a paste, spread/poke it onto the scribbled area and leave it alone for 15 - 30 minutes and wipe off with a damp/wet cloth - don't scrub.

And sometimes olive oil wiped over removes all sorts of things you wouldn't expect - and doesn't ruin the finish either.

Lilly948204 · 26/07/2016 19:23

Try a small amount of nail varnish dabbed on to get the pen out.

WhirlwindHugs · 26/07/2016 19:24

I would be really annoyed but wouldn't say anything - you don't know 100% that it was the child, and if they deny it things will probably get pretty frosty.

I'd be banning pens from upstairs though!

BastardGoDarkly · 26/07/2016 19:25

No, don't say anything, except maybe what smarties suggests, to the dd.

What about a bit of light sanding? Although, if you hadn't noticed it for a week, will it bother you?

merrymouse · 26/07/2016 19:27

If it took a week to discover it is it that obvious? If it is obvious, did it really happen a week ago or is the story about last week's sleepover friend with the easily identifiable handwriting taking it upon herself to do some doodling while alone a bit too convenient?

Kudos for hosting so many sleepovers for 8 year olds, but I really wouldn't mention it to your friend - what do you expect her to do?

Original poster
TheSconeOfStone · 26/07/2016 19:29

You're all right, I can't say anything this long after the event. After 8 years incident free I thought it was safe to leave them unattended with pens. I don't expect the mum to repair the damage, just make her daughter aware it's not on.

I'll make a general statement about no colouring in the room next time she comes round and hope she gets the hint. I'll try the nail varnish remover tip. Failing that we have plenty of bicard.

The scribbling was well hidden. You would have to be looking at the bottom of the shut door from inside the room to notice it. I think we have been very lucky that DD1 isn't a scribbler. DD2 was dreadful for it but at a much younger age and we were aware so watched her closely.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheSconeOfStone · 26/07/2016 19:32

merrymouse the second friend was DD's first ever sleep over. The first visit was just an after school meet up. Based on the the children involved I'm certain it was the first child but I'm not going to say anything.

OP posts:
allofadaze · 26/07/2016 19:50

Try a normal pencil eraser - I managed to get a LOT of sharpie off my kitchen table (left by my DD and her friend) like that...

MargotLovedTom · 26/07/2016 19:55

Or one of those Magic Eraser things? Or an ink eraser from Staples or somewhere?

MargotLovedTom · 26/07/2016 19:56

Actually DD got a tub of double sided ink and pencil erasers from The Range. Can't vouch for use on stripped wood though.

Ditsy4 · 26/07/2016 20:04

Try Jif the White paste sort. I've got pen off with this and a sponge/ green scourer.
Kids do things. It is the unfortunate bit of having kids over. I had one who ruined a new pop up book which cost £12.95. I was a child minder and told the mum he had deliberately stood stamped on it and she just said "Oh Robert ." No offer of recompense. I thought she could have replaced it and let him have the one with the torn spine.
I doubt she will be interested and you just have to put it down to wear and tear I'm afraid.

acasualobserver · 26/07/2016 20:12

Anarchy! Instruct a solicitor. Take the parents for every penny they've got.

youwouldthink · 26/07/2016 21:19

Hairspray will dissolve it..

bumsexatthebingo · 26/07/2016 21:23

I agree you can't be sure who it was. Could've been the sleepover friend and your dd thinking they are funny trying to write like the other girl and blame her. I would just have a pens stay at the downstairs table rule when friends are over for a while.

gammatron · 26/07/2016 21:26

I second hairspray

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 26/07/2016 21:30

Worst case, I would try bleach on the pen, then rub down the wood and refinish it - is it oiled/varnished/stained?

anotherdayanothersquabble · 26/07/2016 21:30

I think it would be risky to accuse last week's play date based on no one having seen it before it was spotted by tonight's guest, who then 'confirmed' that it was the 'identifiable' handwriting of another child. Mmm. Not sure Judge Judy would convict on that evidence! I would be looking at the sleepover guest as the criminal but would let it go. (I would be pretty fed up though! Perhaps using a magic eraser and if all else fails, sandpaper?)

Apollo440 · 26/07/2016 21:33

Iso-propyl alcohol gets out a lot of things including biro (useful when your 3 year old scribbles all over the soft Italian leather sofa). Not too expensive either.

www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Isopropanol-99-9-Pure-IPA-Isopropyl-Alcohol-ACS-LAB-Grade-Choose-from-5-Sizes-/331584512478?var=&hash=item4d33fa21de:m:mjXDOn_baEG0xCF9cjtcWdw

trinity0097 · 26/07/2016 21:34

Glad that you cared, the house we just moved into had graffetti all over the back of one of the bedroom doors, done in a combination of tippex, nail varnish, permanent marker and biro, plus the rest of the spare space was covered in all the stickers that they had ever got from school/swimming clubs!! If only their parent had done something after the first instance rather than just let them carry on!

Luckily the doors were the cheap yuck kind and we were planning to replace them anyway - it has gone to the dump and a few rooms are doorless at the moment!

Cakescakescakes · 26/07/2016 21:39

Flash magic eraser. Cleaned marker pen off my paint work. Just test in an inconspicuous place first.

cdtaylornats · 26/07/2016 22:08

There is a trick french polishers use to get ink out of unvarnished wood.

You lay it flat, put meths on the stain and set fire to it.

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