A couple. Her mother is an alcoholic. He 42, she is 37. Part of a small social group and they are lovely people, never nasty or inappropriate. But I am more concerned than ever about their drinking and would appreciate advice especially from those who have been there.
We went for a weekend away 18 months ago, organised by them. Mid-afternoon onwards, all three days sat in pubs drinking. Another one organised next month, three of us aren't going because if we go away we want to do things, not just drink. But that's what will happen.
Went to a cider and cheese festival where I might have had three pints over 6 hours. They had loads. Mutual friend who doesn't drink much got a bit maudlin, I got her a cup of tea, female of the pair concerned went and got her another pint. Same friend three weeks ago twice asked for cider shandy when this couple were getting rounds and twice they brought back a pint of cider and it was clearly not a case of being misheard as evidenced by their reaction. Another friend going through bad time, they invited him round to their place and the two blokes got through three bottles of wine and passed out on the sofas. As friend is depressive (I think bipolar) and I have told this couple that drink will not help him, I was not pleased and told them they were actually doing harm not good. Even depressed friend met them at a sausage and ale festival at 5 pm and remarked that they were already pissed having been there since 2 pm.
Suggestion we meet up for a meal tonight to avoid the whole weekend thing and going to a pub. They've said yes but are going straight from work to a pub before meeting us at 7. Three weeks ago, he went out for a quiet pint with two friends and had 5 or 6 pints and the next day he and she drank a lot of wine. By my reckoning they will both generally drink the weekly recommended safe number of units most Friday or Saturday nights, as he will easily drink between 5-8 pints in four hours.
They don't drink every day but at the very least I think this is borderline functioning alcoholism in that it doesn't affect their daily routine or work, but basically it is accepted that most Fridays and Saturdays they will get pissed.
Although I find it boring, I'm more concerned than anything and have suggested to mutual friends we should do more "things" and not just agree with them when they say most weekends "let's go to the pub". We used to do more things, but I'm noticing it's more drink based than before. I've also noticed as a result another friend who didn't used to drink that much is certainly drinking quite a bit more and more often, but not approaching this sort of level.
Both have health problems and weight gain and have decided to join a gym to lose weight. While exercise would help, I think much of their weight and health problems are due to their alcohol intake. Last week they skipped the gym one night to have a BBQ in the nice weather and of course consumed alcohol (no, I didn't go).
Am I being unreasonable in being concerned? I appreciate they may not choose to cut down but am I right to try and get them to do more stuff where they can't drink at weekends, and try to get our other friends to do similar, to minimise any sort of enabling (even if not intended that way)? I feel I need to do something rather than just express concern (which has been done, albeit of the non-lecture kind).