After school stand selling sweets

[Dancergirl]

At dd's primary school every other week there is a stand in the playground after school manned by children selling sweets. The idea is the children organise it themselves and the money goes to charity.

I am fed up with the arguments with dd. She obviously wants sweets like everybody else. Firstly I rarely have any money as I leave my handbag in the car. And secondly I don't want her having sweets so often. She has sweets once a week after dinner as a treat plus any extras she gets at parties etc. I think that's enough. But it's difficult when all the other children are buying them.

I am a bit annoyed with the school for endorsing this in the first place. I thought schools were very hot on healthy eating these days....? Or is it allowed because it's technically after school?

If the charity element is a concern then just make a donation.

DS is 5 - there is an ice-cream van outside of school every day. He understands that we get an ice-cream on a Friday. If he can deal with that then your 9 year old can deal with sweets on one of they days only.

It's like a bloody competition on here to see who can impose the healthiest no-treat diet on their kids whilst expecting applause from the rest of us for the stance.

Why not use the situation as a negotiation lesson for you little girl? Discuss it before the sweet stall is about and ask her what she would do if she was a Mummy and she knew that something was less good for her child but the child wanted it. She may well come up with a solution herself which could include buying a small amount of sweets once every 4 weeks, having less on her weekly amount so she could have some from the stall, etc. If you decide between you that she can have some, allocate an amount of money and let her work out what she wants to buy and whether she can afford it. You could turn this into a positive rather than a negative, avoid the fortnightly argument and avoid making an issue about something which could end up by being counter productive to your values. Also, you could suggest to the school that they sell something else but I suspect that this is the a way of making easy money where the stock won't go off during the 14 day gap.

A friends system was to give an amount of money each week that was 3 times the amount to be spent on sweets/other crap. The kids took one third and put it into their bank account, one third and put it into an openable piggy bank and the other third was for spending straight away/over the week. The money in the piggy bank had to stay in there at least a month, but could be used to buy larger treats such as toys etc. If they saved for two or 3 moths then obviously they could get bigger stuff but if they emptied it out then 4 weeks worth would need to build up again before next purchase. The banked money was allowed to build up and was intended for big stuff when they were older.

I think it was a really good system but forgot about it when mine were young.

It was show them the benefits or long term and short term saving and to budget their spending money for the week.

it's once a fortnight for THREE days.

Just tell her she can buy them on X day only.

I agree give her a bit of money and the choice of when she has the sweets. Thereby avoid arguments and encourage responsibility.

However sweets are not part of a healthy diet whatsoever. There is absolutely nothing good about them.

If you want sweet treats in moderation, you would be better off with cake, biscuits (preferably homemade) jam on toast, or even chocolate.

Refined sugar is not part of a healthy diet at all.
Because it it exists and people are addicted to the stuff, professionals say to allow for the odd treat as part of their diet because they know if something is totally restricted then people won't bother to follow the diet.
It is never going to go away so it is included.
No one needs it.

Do you know what, I agree with OP. Every parent has a different style and opinion on what their kids should/shouldn't eat and that is for them to decide outside of school, but having a stand selling sweets every fortnight on school grounds puts the parent in a rotten position of either having to say no and being the bad guy, or grudgingly letting their child eat crap that they don't really want them to have just because other kids are having it. It's the same with ice cream vans that park outside primary schools. It sounds like the OP has got a good balance at home of how much sugar her child is getting and it is reserved as a treat - she doesn't go without, she does get sweets just not all the live long day. When you actually look at how much sugar is in everything else we may eat or drink it really does add up and it is really bad for you. It makes absolutely NO SENSE that schools waffle on about healthy eating and send kids home with leaflets about it, and then two days later the kids are coming out of school with bags of sweets...?!?! My DD's school does stuff like this, we get told they can't have chocolate bars etc in lunchboxes, but then there's a birthday in the class and everyone walks out clutching a packet of haribo. Why? Never had that when I was a kid, never missed it. At the school fair they get sent home with a big bag of sweets - why not just a balloon? I get that the school are trying to do nice things which is lovely but I think there's so much else that could be done instead of dishing out sweets. For example in the OP's case, why couldn't the kids sometimes sell fresh fruit skewers instead? Or do a bring and buy sale type thing?

Can understand where the OP is coming from about the constant temptation, but unfortunately managing temptations and pester power is one of the key parenting skills these days. Do you want to ban all adverts for kids' stuff? (Actually, yes but that's another discussion).

But I do have a wry smile for the comment about the general schools' policies on healthy eating stopping at the door to the PTA bank balance (to mangle a metaphor). I've thought much the same myself.

puts the parent in a rotten position of either having to say no and being the bad guy, or grudgingly letting their child eat crap that they don't really want them to have just because other kids are having it

That is exactly it magic And it's the double standards of the school - they make SO much fuss what you can and can't put in a lunch box or bring for a snack, yet they endorse pretty frequent and regular sweet buying. That's the issue really.

Buy the weekly sweets from the charity stall; if it happens every week surely you can remember once to take in your purse.

You are the parent and it's up to you to discipline your child how you see fit.
YABVU to expect everyone else to fit in with your views.

Raise your child to understand that just because somebody else does something doesn't mean they have to.
It will be good practice for when she is older and some others smoke or take drugs etc.

What a lot of fuss. The sweets are not a compulsory purchase. Say no. Or as many others have suggested let her choose the sweets for the day she is allowed sweets. As for the money thing, ask her to remind you when it is, give her the money to put her into her school bag. Something tells me she won't forget.

Agree with the poster who says schools are always the bad guy with someone over fund raising. Schools are terribly strapped for cash and if the kids are fund raising and organising the event, surely that is a good thing. There is nothing wrong with saying 'no' but tossing a coin in for charity.

Genuinely laughed at the 'raging' comment the poster must need a sedative when reading a newspaper.