After school stand selling sweets

[Dancergirl]

At dd's primary school every other week there is a stand in the playground after school manned by children selling sweets. The idea is the children organise it themselves and the money goes to charity.

I am fed up with the arguments with dd. She obviously wants sweets like everybody else. Firstly I rarely have any money as I leave my handbag in the car. And secondly I don't want her having sweets so often. She has sweets once a week after dinner as a treat plus any extras she gets at parties etc. I think that's enough. But it's difficult when all the other children are buying them.

I am a bit annoyed with the school for endorsing this in the first place. I thought schools were very hot on healthy eating these days....? Or is it allowed because it's technically after school?

The children are learning about supply and demand and other aspects of business.

The rest of the school is learning restraint/ they can't have anything they want or empathy and giving.

I don't see the difference between you giving your DD her 'treat', or her buying them and knowing that the money is going to Charity and the background of why the Charity is needed (which always sparks other conversations/learning experiences).

And if parents allow their children to become obese, that's not the fault of the school selling a few bags of sweets once a fortnight.

The world is full of sweet shops and supermarkets that sell sweets.

If the parents haven't learned to deal with this and help their children deal with this, they have a much bigger problem.

I can see the argument re learning moderation.
Using sweets outside an establishment where there are children is lazy fundraising imo.

needascarf - op's child already get treats, the school sweets are just extra. As parents we all have to choose where to draw the line with eating crap. Studies have shown that the 'every thing in moderation' attitude is often linked to an unhealthy less balanced diet, some people see it as a licence to eat loads of shite.

But supermarkets are a business.
A school is for learning good life practices, empathy, healthy eating, respect etc. How does a bag of sweeties outside the door reinforce that good message?

I'm with you OP, I hate cake sales too.
I don't even agree with sweets being given out for birthdays.
Don't get me started on pudding everyday with school meals.

I'm a bit extreme among my social circle, who dish out sweets everyday and think nothing of giving ice cream and crisps after school everyday. I give fruit.

My children are very slim compared to their friends. At least half of the children in our school are overweight. ( it a very MC school as well)

I haven't read all of the responses but I agree with you. I do not think its appropriate for children to have sweets regularly nor do I think it's appropriate for the school to be normalising this behaviour.

Yes, sweet things are a part of a balanced diet but I would like some control over when and where that happens so that I my family and I can have sweet treats when we get most enjoyment out of them rather than having to fit round when they are offered at school.

I have no problem saying no to my children, offering them alternatives and explaining why but I do think that selling sweets and cakes to raise money for charity at schools is wrong.

I hear messages given to the children at school about healthy eating and they are told it is wrong to have cakes in their lunch box but there is less sugar in a piece of home made cake than there is in a bag of hairbo.

There is an obesity issue in the UK. Children overall do have more cavities than they did 30 years ago. There are more incidents of childhood diabetes. Sugar puts gut bacteria out of balance which impacts the immune system. Sugar adds nothing nutritionally to our diet. Sugar when it comes with trace minerals, vitamins and fibre is great!

You are not unreasonable and the more often the point is made the more likely it is that something will change. Say something, to the school, the charity organisers, the teachers. In fact when I mention it, I say, I know the school will not become a sugar free zone but it is something to bear in mind when thinking about what messages we send to children. (Our school rewards children with sweets!!!!)

But supermarkets are a business.
A school is for learning good life practices, empathy, healthy eating, respect etc. How does a bag of sweeties outside the door reinforce that good message?

Moderation and self control are very good life practices and part of a healthy eating lifestyle.

This not something that is taught in every home, especially if the parents cant trust themselves to keep sweets and biscuits.

Also, with regards to 'lazy fundraising' what are schools supposed to do?

Non uniform days get parents moaning, cake sales get parents moaning, craft sales get parents moaning and now a once a fortnight sweet sale is getting them moaning.

No doubt the same parents will moan when the school budget cant stretch further than buying pens and exercise books.

It's once a fortnight??? And she's allowed sweets once a week anyway... What am I missing?

Oh to have a life where I could rage about sweet stalls...

Yes. Well my life is perfect.

They aren't fundraising for the school they are raising money for charity.

I do not think its appropriate for children to have sweets regularly nor do I think it's appropriate for the school to be normalising this behaviour.

They're not though

It's once a fortnight.

I would suggest giving your dd an amount of money, that she can use to buy the sweets you are happy for her to have as a treat. She can then decide whether she wants to buy the sweets when she's out with you (at the weekend, shopping/activities etc) or if she wants to keep it so she can buy from the stall at school.

She will learn to budget her money - ie. if she spends it before the school sweet stall days, she won't have it to spend at school, but that will have been her choice, so she can't nag or get upset at you.

Plus it will also help her to learn the skill of controlling her own diet. My mum controlled what we ate, right up until the time I left home - portion control was rigid, we could have one single sweet each day, from a special tin, and treats were strictly rationed. When I left home, I went bonkers - I could buy and eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted to - and I still have a very disordered relationship with food.

I don't think you can compare sweet stalls at schools with supermarkets.

It's the 'it's for charity' line which makes it hard to say no. I do say no but it's difficult when the thinking that anything 'for charity' is ok and you are mean and unreasonable if you don't.

Our school pta does similar, in summer term every Friday they sell ice creams after school. Raises money for pta and is a treat for kids, some weeks mine get one, others they don't. Yes my five year old has had a tantrum at not getting one, she got over it. Ditto cake sales we we at least one per half term? Some times my kids get something, sometimes they don't and they cope.

Just like with three kids at primary some days one will get sweets as it's a friends/classmates bday and the others won't again they deal with it.

Bit of everything in moderation for healthy diet is what I am teaching mine along with them learning they can't always have a treat/have their own way. That's life.

What age should a child be expected to moderate sweetie intake?

Genuine question.

Our rule in the house is that a piece of fruit should be eaten before eating a bag of crisps. I am aware that there is sugar in fruit and it increases the calories, but if they can't be bothered to wash an apple then they don't have crisps. The biscuits and chocolate is unregulated but they don't bother with it too much. We don't have desert but they do have supper which is more than likely sweet even if it is toast and jam.

I have two teenagers who have managed to get to 16 and nearly 15 with no dentist treatment required ever (6 month check ups) and while neither of them are built like whippets, they are very tall and an appropriate weight. they don't buy crap at lunchtimes and after school though as they'd rather take a packed lunch and they get picked up from school.

They sometimes (about once a week) take cash up to the local shop and have a mini binge - well as much as you can for £1.50-£2.00. they have access to a lot of cash via pocket money but don't want to waste it on buying rubbish. I think self control is kicking in.

I think you need to trust her with the sweet money and I think you'll see a more grown up attitude - maybe not the first few times, but she will appreciate being given the control and will stop arguing. Give it a go OP :)

flogging it's once a fortnight for THREE days.

I don't think you can compare sweet stalls at schools with supermarkets.

I think you can because the point I was making was about temptation.

There are sweets everywhere you look.

Kids need to learn they can't have them whenever they see them.

Learning to deal with temptation will set them up for life.

Our school has a very regular cake stall. I don't take money and don't buy cake. Simple.
No is a complete sentence!

If she had her own money there would be zero hassle because the amount she spent would be up to you but when and where it was spent would be up to her.