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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Nurses Don't Listen

307 replies

babbafishbabe · 24/07/2016 03:23

So DS is 6 and on Friday had tonsils, adenoids out and frosts in.
He started coughing after the operation and de-stating. Tod this is normal. He was difficult to rouse after GA and it'd staff , this is not normal for him.
DS has lots of disabilities including epilepsy, severe autism and sensory problems.
Found out he has a chest infection. He sleeps with melatonin and Chloral hydrate. Got him settled and in next bay family being loud. The nurse wants to do Obs. He's awake and had all the meds he can. Ask nurse next time no blood pressure. He has a sat monitor on and just need temp. Said ok..... 12am he is de-sating agai. Oxygen and get him settled. Then 2:30 get him settled again. I managed to go off too. 10 mins later the fucking nurse wakes us both by trying to put BP on him Again!!!!
Finally settled him again.... I'm so peeved .... Poor boy is poorly and needs to rest ... No one wil let him.
AIBU here just take his temp and write his sats from the monitor. Let the boy rest!!!

OP posts:
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fuctifino · 24/07/2016 03:45

Hmm but if they didn't do the correct monitoring and something went badly wrong, their jobs would be on the line.
Annoying as it is, I would be wanting to make sure my child was doing okay.
You'll soon be home and then he can catch up on his sleep.

Londonlassy · 24/07/2016 04:11

Christ YABU. She is trying to care and monitor your child who is clearly unwell. His health relys on her expertise. If she doesn't do her job, including monitoring his blood pressure it can have catastrophic consequences.

Calling her a 'fucking nurse' for just doing her job and caring for your son is completely unacceptable.

Health professionals get completely shredded on MN

Londonlassy · 24/07/2016 04:17

Also if she doesn't do her job her registration and livelihood are on the line. If a nurse prioritise sleep instead of clinically monitoring an unwell patient ( such as your son) she would be hauled to the nursing tribunal for unacceptable conduct

Longlost10 · 24/07/2016 04:21

sorry, this is what happens in hospital, and it happens for a reason...

ChipsCheeseandIrnBru · 24/07/2016 04:22

You sound like you're having a really rough night. Your poor boy is going through the mill and I'm sorry that he's suffering. I hope you are getting some much needed rest now. But, in the nicest possible way, YABU. It's their job, they are doing it to protect your son. Being woken at awful, inconvenient times is just part of being in hospital. Imagine if they didn't and something went wrong. I'm you'd take a hundred sleepless nights before allowing him to be at risk?

They might be understaffed, they might be run off their feet, who knows how many other patients they are dealing with. Tbh I've never been anything but grateful of the medical staff that have cared for me and my children (including baby being woken 3 hourly - always about 20 minutes after settling to sleep)

It's only for a finite period. Yes it's annoying but YABU to complain about the nurses.

I hope your son makes a swift recovery and you're both home quickly.

whattodowiththepoo · 24/07/2016 04:45

Yabu but it's ok to be unreasonable after the night you have had.
Hope he gets better soon!

Spermysextowel · 24/07/2016 05:12

When my son was in hospital for 10 weeks last year lack of sleep became a big issue for us (I stayed with him). Mostly the nurses tried to disrupt him as little as poss by doing obs at the same time as giving meds. They turned the pumps round so they could read them thru the window without coming in; put the BP cuff on last thing before he went to 'sleep' to try to avoid waking him.
Then we had the hospital vicar drop by. The hospital school teachers. The HCAs thinking you should change the bed every 5 mins. The catering assistants coming in every morning with a plastic jug of tepid water, then coming back an hour later to ask what your child's meal requests were ( top tip I was given; ask for Kosher meals - actually edible).
They all had a job to do & those who were non-medical backed off when they could see his condition. The nurses kept on doing what they had to do whether they could work around him or not.
Some could've been better, some made so much difference to him at a really bad time in his life.
I'm sorry it was horrible for you both, but I do think we have a lot to be thankful for with the NHS

Out2pasture · 24/07/2016 05:37

in the future one option would be to leave the cuff on. it is an important post op check as he could be de-sating not from his chest infection but from hemorrhage. if the sites become infected he could become septic and again de-sat with terrible outcome. so unfortunately the bp part is very necessary.

Scarydinosaurs · 24/07/2016 06:03

YABU let her do her job.

DropYourSword · 24/07/2016 06:07

There was a case recently where a woman lost her legs after an emergency caesarean, and it was blamed on the fact that the correct obs were not taken.
I appreciate it must really be frustrating for you, but there is a reason that they have to take these observations.

lljkk · 24/07/2016 06:09

Why does someone need to wake him up to take the BP?
In hospital, I knew I was very ill because I kept sleeping no matter what the noise & what they did. I knew I was getting better when I stopped being able to sleep thru it all.

Cosmo111 · 24/07/2016 06:12

Yes your little boy is poorly I'm sorry to hear that but nurses require to monitor them during the day and sometimes during the night,especially as children can go down so quickly. Having trained as a nurse it's bloody hard and it's the attitudes like yours that puts people off. That nurse most likely hadn't even had a break that day, no wonder many people are leaving the profession.

ditavonteesed · 24/07/2016 06:15

I'm sorry your ds is poorly :(. The nurse is just doing her job and she has to do it, the early warning scores (obs) show if someone is getting more poorly quickly, that said lack of sleep and worry can make everything seem unreasonable so you get only sympathy from me.

Needthesunshine · 24/07/2016 06:23

Fucking nurses.....they should be at home with their own families at night instead of annoying people in hospitals 😉. YABVU however it's allowed as you're worried about your son and need some sleep .

MajesticSeaFlapFlap · 24/07/2016 06:30

You've bought him to hospital for medical help then slagging them off when they give you just that?

user789653241 · 24/07/2016 06:42

I think when my ds had op, they left cuffs on during the night.
And nurses managed to do obs without waking him most of the time.

Hope your ds gets well soon.

TheClaws · 24/07/2016 06:53

If (God forbid) something went wrong, you wouldn't start jumping up down saying "Why wasn't he monitored better?"

I know it isn't easy, but nurses need to do their obs. They aren't disturbing your DS thoughtlessly. It's for his benefit.

PotteringAlong · 24/07/2016 06:55

Or you could listen when they tell you it needs doing and let them get on with it...

Mia1415 · 24/07/2016 07:02

Sorry but YABVU!!! You can't tell the nurse 'no blood pressure!' That's not on. I feel so sorry for the nurse who is just doing her job to protect your son. I've spent many a night in hospital with DS & they always have to do checks during the night. I'm sure you are very tired & worried that your DS is unwell but I'm absolutely stunned at your attitude.

Emochild · 24/07/2016 07:12

OP I understand the sleep problems your child (and you) will have experienced to be on 2 different sleep meds
I know lack of sleep and a poor sleep cycle can massively affect children with your son's diagnosis, and can take weeks to recover from -a lay in the next day or an early night will not re-regulate him

But blood pressure checks in a poorly post operative child are vital, possibly life saving checks

You need to let the nurses do their job

Imknackeredzzz · 24/07/2016 07:15

Yes you are being very, very unreasonable I'm afraid. But hopefully your son is ok

WhoTheFuckIsSimon · 24/07/2016 07:25

If you wanted him to sleep without the proper medical checks you should have gone home.

She will need to take his BP. She can't work out a MEWS score without it. Infection/sepsis can affect BP so if he has an infection taking his BP is actually important. You obviously don't understand that, let her do her job.

If he deteriorated if the infection got worse and she hadn't taken the necessary obs she would be in so much trouble!

eurochick · 24/07/2016 07:34

I do understand your pain, OP. The things most patients need most are sleep and nutritious food. Most hospitals are terrible at these! The problem is that on a busy ward it's just not feasible to work round patients' schedules and do obs when they happen to be awake or whatever. I hope your boy is better soon.

MudCity · 24/07/2016 07:36

Your attitude towards the nursing role is appalling. Have some respect for the work the nurses are doing to maintain your son's safety and well-being. Your lack of awareness of this is worrying. Stop being so unreasonable, do not refer to "fucking nurses" (so rude and unnecessary) and show some gratitude for our NHS and the treatment they are giving your son.

3amEternal · 24/07/2016 07:36

"The fucking nurse"

Nice. Says a lot about the level of respect you have for them. Attitudes like yours are preventing people wanting to continue nursing. If she doesn't monitor him properly and he deteriorates no doubt you would be the first demanding compensation and her head on a plate...