To think this 'nut free policy' is OTT for a school

[MerryMarigold]

So, letter home about next term's 'nut free' policy and I think it's a bit extreme but tell me what you think. In packed lunches (I will have 3 having packed lunch next year), we are not allowed to include:

• Fruit and cereal bars which contain nuts
• Sesame seed rolls
• Nutella
• Peanut butter
• Cakes made with nuts
• Muesli bars
• Baklava/ Nougat/ Turkish Delight
• Any packets of nuts

I would assume we are not allowed to give them pistachios in a Tupperware box either.

Anyway, my point is that how can they police it this closely? I know some kids cannot come into ANY contact with nuts, but for example, my kids would have nuts in granola at breakfast and probably not always wash their hands before school (if they remembered to clean their teeth when they first get up). I also refuse to check the ingredient list of everything I put into a packed lunch for 3 children so there are bound to be nuts in something they end up having.

Nuts are very healthy and nutritious, so we basically need to swap nut based products for something less healthy. I am most upset about the Muesli bars and no cakes made with nuts. Ds1 is a major food-refuser. He has never managed school dinners and food at home is an issue too. He nearly always has a muesli bar in his lunch, which I suppose I will need to substitute with biscuits. And sometimes I would include cakes made with nuts just to up his nutrition at lunchtime a bit. He doesn't like any form of meat, fish or cheese in his sandwiches.

I do sympathise that there are (a very few) people who have a 'life threatening reaction to nut products' (quoted on the 'nut free policy' letter). However, I would assume they do carry an epi-pen as it is impossible to create a completely nut free environment in a large school of children who are eating nuts at least at home. So, in reality it is not life threatening unless there is a child who has an unknown severe nut allergy. I would even be compassionate if it was stated that a child (without mentioning names) had had a reaction several times in school, but I very much doubt a child has reacted at school, and there may not even be a child with a severe nut allergy, so this is just scare mongering really.

SO, I do need to feel more positive about this and the extra work it will cause me, the extra moaning from my child and the reduction in nutrition. Please tell me off gently! I've had a bad night with not much sleep though, so please bear with me.

lots of things are made with nut oils. that's why you have to read the label.

it isn't only nut allergies which give anaphylactic shock. Surprised at the ignorance of some on here who think if you have other allergies like those to dairy or other foods that this cant lead to anaphylactic shock as well. Severe skin reactions can instantly hospitalise some children. I had a friend at college with severe asthmatic reactions to certain foods. he is dead due to this. and he wasn't allergic to nuts.

YABU. It's a life threatening reaction that can kill in moments. Suck it up.

I'm not sure where all these allergies come from. I don't remember anyone having a nut allergy at primary school myself (I'm 40) I remember a lot of hayfever but it was unusual to have any other type of allergy.

There is a lot of research going into this at the moment, I know a couple scientists who are studying it. The main theory (from my laymans understanding) is that we are living too clean, killing all the good bacteria with antibac, living too far away from animals and mud, and as a result we aren't building up immunity to toxins. Also theories around birth by c-section not resulting in babies being exposed to natural bacteria at birth.

There are cereal bars without nuts, plenty of healthy options for making cakes without nuts. I can't come into contact with nuts (not anaphylaxis, luckily) because it makes me itch and feel miserable. This extends to my partner not being able to have nutty things. It's not that hard. Just be thankful you don't have to worry about a child who may come into contact with nuts because you can't be bothered to read the labels of a few things.

I'm not, but I imagine if I was the parent of a child with a severe nut allergy I'd be happy if their school was OTT in their approach to it.

If I received such a letter I'd comply. I wouldn't want my foolishness or pigheadedness leading to a child's hospitalisation or death.

I think greater transparency is better. If they said a there is a child in school with a severe allergy and blah blah it would be clearer

I would guess the school feel that saying something like this would be a breach of pupil confidentiality. They shouldn't go around sharing pupil's personal medical details.

I know there's a child in DS1's class with severe allergies (nuts and a few other things), but I only know this because I was helping hand out food at the class Christmas party. The teacher took all the parent helpers to one side before the food was to be handed out and said something like "don't give any food to Johnny, he has severe allergies, the TA will give Johnny his food, that child there is Johnny". There's also a ban on bringing nuts into DS1's school, but they don't talk about whether there's children with nut allergies whenever they mention the ban.

I was a bit surprised about our school's position ie no trace nuts, but it's actually really easy (they just end up having less variety at lunch). You can still give them other products at home.

I'm surprised at the number of parents who are completely blasé about it (when their own children do not have severe allergies). I probably would have been, but my boss has three children all with epipens and they have had so many issues with this.

Interesting. Thanks all. I know am IAB a bit U. But after a loooong night the prospect of checking everything that goes into packed lunches, and especially finding something else apart from muesli bars for difficult ds1, isn't inviting. I know they can have nuts at other times, and they do, but removing from lunch will take jigging things about and extra time checking for ingredients. Of course I will do that. For those saying it won't impact much on nutrition...well for ds1 it will for 5 meals a week, and he will probably have to have plain bread and biscuits (I'd appreciate your suggestions, but believe me, I am a creative cook and I can't convince him of much!), but no - it won't kill him. Thanks for making me see sense and feel more sympathetic.

My child is allergic to a particular fruit. If they're in a room with this fruit, they are very likely to have an anaphylactic shock. School have banned this particular fruit.

One of the school mums was complaining to me that her child's fruit juice was taken away from them. I explained why, that it was because of my child's allergy. Even more important that she respects the ban because our children (despite being in different years) often have a cuddle when they see each other.

It seems that for some parents, any food bans are a pain in the arse until they put a face to the reason why.

I don't think they need to be more transparent. If a school has a no nuts policy then surely it's pretty self explanatory that there will be at least one child or member or staff with a sever nut allergy.

I am forgetful, yes. I cannot remember the ingredients lists of foods that we eat.

What about foods that state they are produced in a factory that processes nuts?

Do parents also need to examine what they give their children for breakfast?

What if a child doesn't wear a clean jumper every day and has something that has nuts in in the evening? I admit I've sent DS to school in a jumper that looks clean!

I don't understand the confidentiality thing. I have always told everyone about my allergies. its only fair on them to know so that they don't inadvertently bring in food to the office or serve it at a party. This idea that you should be all secret squirrel about it is bonkers.

if you start at a new school or job, tell them, what you have, what your reactions are and what they need to do. on more than one occasion in my life it has been a school friend or work colleague that has had to help. I just don't get the secrecy.

Students in secondary schools are able to police their food and make decisions themselves, but it's not infallible. I taught in a school where some year 7s were doing some fundraising and made cakes. A boy with allergies asked whether they contained nuts and when he was told they didn't, bought one and ate it. Immediately his lips swelled and it was clear he was in anaphylactic shock. Fortunately, the school had a medical centre, but he did end up in hospital. Many allergy sufferers, as has been said, only need to be in the vicinity of nuts to be affected.

It must be a very worrying thing, to be reliant on other peoples compliance to keep your child safe.

My DD's school has been nut free for a few years. Never bothered me at all. Then late last year I had a severe reaction to nuts, having never reacted to them before so now I truly understand the precautions the school is taking.

Having a reaction is a scary, awful thing to have and if the chances of those can be reduced for anyone where possible, then they should be.

Surely if you receive such a letter you learn quite quickly what is allowed and stick to that. It isn't difficult unless you make it difficult.

I don't understand the confidentiality thing. I have always told everyone about my allergies.

If the parent chooses to tell the other parents in the class that's fine. Schools cannot disclose medical details of other children though, whatever the condition. One of my children has a severely nut-allergic child in the class and when she comes her to play the Mum always says "remember X can't have nuts". Same way as I know that my daughter's Muslim friend eats veggie food away from home (of fish fingers) and can't have Haribo. But I know that because her mum told me, not the school.

It's not about removing all risks, it's about reducing risks by taking obvious, reasonable and straight forward steps. So it is reasonable to ask parents not to deliberately put nuts into packed lunches. It's not reasonable to ask all parents not to have nuts ever at home. Of course there will still be a risk of the scenarios MilkTwo describes, but the bigger more obvious risk has been reduced.

OP could you be more fucking selfish?

Let me direct you to hundreds of thousands of cake and flapjack recipes that do not include nuts. It's called Google. You are welcome.

Give your child they nutty cake after school. It's really not that difficult.

We get parents bitching rolling eyes and laughing about our schools nut ban too and I am always left . It's not a joke and nut allergies are very serious.

Why is that so very difficult for some brains to accept? If actually empathizing and/or understanding is beyond your remit, it is possible to simply accept it as a fact.

I'm just very thankful that my children don't have life threatening allergies.

That parents of other pupils can be so callous, and selfish really beggars belief.

YABVU

You child can still have nuts every day, just not at school. My children's current school has a complete nut ban. They shouldn't have to reveal a child's personal, private medical details in order for parents to feel that the decision is justified enough! The expectation that parents have some basic human empathy for the thought someone in the school could have a life threatening allergy, should be enough. Their previous school didn't have this ban, presumably because there wasn't a child with a really bad allergy there.

I have not found it at all difficult to avoid packing nuts in lunch. I have one child who loves nuts and they are a major source of protein for him. But I still manage to give him a perfectly balanced lunch every day! If he has peanut butter on toast before school, then I make sure that I give his hands and face a wipe/wash before leaving the house. That is no big deal either.

Muesli and cereal bars aren't really a healthy option for lunch every day but if it is really important to you that your child has them daily, give one as an after school snack! A child cannot use an epi pen on a regular basis, just because a classmate can't go without their cereal bar in the middle of the day!! FFS! Epi pens are not for regular use but for emergency situations when an ambulance is required. Do you really want the school calling an ambulance of a regular basis?????

The school have given you quite a comprehensive list to help, so that you don't have to spend heaps of time checking ingredients in supermarkets. You should be pleased about that, not complaining.

I don't think it is OTT - I have a child who had a number of mild reaction food allergies (dairy, egg, fish and soya - luckily not ana and extra luckily she has grown out of said allergies), it is a pain though - I do understand that having find 'safe' foods can be tricky but it is better for the school to ask parents to do this than have one accidental mishap that could have fatal consequences.

With regard your child and his food issues - if he is really struggling and you have serious concerns with his nutritional needs not being met because of these - maybe a trip to the gp and ask for referral to a dietitian. Our dd2 was seen by a wonderful NHS dietitian who really helped us make sure she was getting everything she needed in her diet.

YABU. I know of a teenage girl who sadly passed away in a town centre near us after unknowingly being exposed to a nut in a cafe: no ambulance could reach her in time. It wasn't known she was allergic to this nut. She was 14. I would expect the school has a child with severe nut allergies. My niece has nut allergies and her parents carry epi pens. It's frightening and not something to be taken lightly. I think it's important to respect the school's policy. Feed them nuts all evening at home if you have too!

You've mentioned epi-pens.

I have an adult friend who is anaphylactic in response to milk products and apples. She recently had to use 4 while she waited over 40 minutes for an ambulance to arrive. She has had to use so much adrenaline since she was first diagnosed that it is causing heart damage. While she was in hospital she had more anapylactic reactions because the kitchen messed up and as a result they are overhauling their allergies menu/ training.

It's not as simple as having epi-pens. It's much simpler to not come into contact with the allergen.

Thank you for taking note of everyone's viewpoint- not everyone does.

Not read all the posts but have to say I have a dd with a life threatening peanut allergy. She is older now but things were really scary at primary school age and not so much known back then. Our school introduced a nut ban for her to which I was extremely greatful. It was concerning the risks for such a young age when they hold hands, kiss each other, mix up drinks bottles ect let alone try to share food. I appreciate the help and reassurance we received by others keeping nuts out of school. But she still knew she still could not eat others foods due to may contain warnings as these obviously were still allowed. Just actual nut ingredients were stopped. Yes some were hostile 'why should my child miss out on his.......' I was shocked how cruel others can be when my child could die from nuts. Things still on occasions came into school but it cut risks. We grew with our confidence and her primary school helped us adjust and let go. She is now in a secondary school around others eating nuts but is old enough to know how to keep safe now.

Our secondary school is nut free, due to a pupil who has a severe allergy, and to be honest I and the dcs think nothing of it. Ds has always been at school with this pupil. When you have a friend who has to have someone capable of using an epipen on them close by all the time, eg sports fixtures, school trips, social occasions, then avoiding nuts in snacks is the least of the issues.

Just wanted to add that I am 35 and in my primary school was a boy who was allergic to nuts. He had two reactions at school (I remember one of them, scary, and an ambulance drove into the playground which was super exciting) and after the second one he didn't come back to school, I'm not sure if he went to a private school or was homeschooled (but I would see him in town so he did survive), and I guess I don't really know if it was due to the allergies. But people certainly did have serious food allergies back then.
I believe the advice now is that giving nuts early on (in ground / butter form) has been shown to reduce the incidence of allergies. My DD got peanut and other nut butters on toast from 6m-15m (when she decided she didn't like it, or in fact anything apart from cheese and fruit), but I still bung it in things I bake for her to keep her exposure up.