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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

AIBU that mumsnet should intervene in a child protection post?

105 replies

bellybuttonfairy · 21/07/2016 07:44

I've read a couple of worrying threads on here recently. One was when a husband forcefully pushed a child and another very recently where a husband sprayed hairspray into a stepson face as in anger/punishment.

The post really upset me and when I checked the thread has been removed. Imy hoping that mumsnet were able to involve support agencies or do cases like this get lost in the ether of Internet anonominity?

OP posts:
AuntieStella · 21/07/2016 08:18

You get invented posts about all sorts of things here, even including the death of children.

If a thread has been zapped, it's likely to be a troll. MNHQ is an open internet talk site. It gets a lot of trolls.

But if the person is real (less likely, IMHO, since all the DM shenanigans) then advice from posters that s/he acts in real life is much more likely to be productive of an effect than something from the HQ of the company that owns the website where someone has mentioned it.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 21/07/2016 08:18

No because they probably can see that the vast majority of the are trolling goaders

Roussette · 21/07/2016 08:19

You are being extremely silly. Have you not heard of the word "hoax" or "troll". So the Police or NSPCC are sent off round the country checking on worrying posts... yeah right...

There are very many people out there who waste the time of very many different Agencies with made up stories. And MN isn't even one of those Agencies. They are a chat forum.

And have you heard of confidentiality or data protection? MN can't just be chasing up on someone's ISP willy nilly to get an address and send the Police or whatever. They are bound by rules.

PurpleDaisies · 21/07/2016 08:19

Do mumsnet send an email to say that they are concerned about the post and give advice for contact to agencies such as NSPCC???

I don't know if mumsnet send an email or not but on every thread relating to possible child abuse posters tell the op to report it.

fanofthevoid · 21/07/2016 08:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 21/07/2016 08:20

Maybe you need to step away from chat forums for a bit op

MumOnTheRunCatchingUp · 21/07/2016 08:20

Really?? How can anyone be this naive?

As I said unthread.... A thread was once reported and it DID NOT END WELL!!

Poster had exaggerated and resulted in a very angry DP! Ss landed on the doorstep and I think the relationship ended. Lots of bored mums on here as well as trolls

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 21/07/2016 08:20

Yanbu to find it upsetting, but YABU to suppose an anonymous web forum can do this

remember even the FBI couldn't hack apples!

also, people in highly traumatic scenarios often wont have the time of inclination to write long and detailed post, as we have all recently seen

Original poster
bellybuttonfairy · 21/07/2016 08:21

Goodness - I'm not saying that these threads should be forwarded to the local police station......

? Mumsnet must have a child protection policy - even if it's just to send out an email to suguest that the poster should contact support.

The post I'm referring to seemed very honest - it wasn't sensationalised.

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 21/07/2016 08:22

Bellybutton - emotional vampire trolls are EXTREMELY likely to post something shocking/emotionally damaging about children or babies or themselves for that matter.

One famous but old troll was QVC - posted about having been raped and having a baby from it. Dreadful stuff, huge emotional input from lots of suckers posters, including myself (I was one of the suckers) - turned out to be all bollocks.

Another famous troll - dizzymare - posted about having twins prematurely and, iirc, one or both of them dying. All bollocks.

MNHQ absolutely can NOT get involved to the level you are suggesting! Imagine the fall out - MNHQ alert SS, they go around to the address that, yes, probably can be found via IP address/email or whatever, and discover hairy-handed Dave the trucker in his underpants. REALLY likely that anything MNHQ say is ever going to be taken seriously again, isn't it. Hmm

hobnobsaremyfavourite · 21/07/2016 08:22

You really are very naive

branofthemist · 21/07/2016 08:22

How can you say that it's not true though

Many are quite easy to spot. Usually the dramatics. But that's a decision for MNHQ to make.

Queenbean · 21/07/2016 08:22

Trolls will post about anything

If you find yourself being sucked too much in to anything, take a step back and realise it could be a troll. Never give out anything that you'd be upset to have given if it turned out it was a troll.

PurpleDaisies · 21/07/2016 08:23

The post I'm referring to seemed very honest - it wasn't sensationalised.

That doesn't mean anything.

wherethewildthingis · 21/07/2016 08:23

Actually they probably could do something- even if it's just report what they know to police (and let police investigate). There's an argument - admittedly a bit tenuous - that they are legally obliged to do something.

ABloodyDifficultWoman · 21/07/2016 08:23

Why on earth would MN have a child protection policy? Hmm

gamerchick · 21/07/2016 08:24

I can imagine that there are lots of made up threads on here but a mother posting about an assault on her child by her partner - I just think that would be less likely to be made up

How long have you been doing forums?

I take it you haven't had the dead baby made up shit yet then. Some people can make up some pretty sick shit to get their fix.

I understand your idea but it wouldn't work, if a thread bothers you to that point then just hide it.

wherethewildthingis · 21/07/2016 08:25

Which doesn't mean that I believe all these threads. I thought the spray one was probably made up. However if it's deleted to "protect anonymity" then MNHQ must think potentially the family are identifiable - therefore they ought to report it properly

ABloodyDifficultWoman · 21/07/2016 08:26

report what they know to police (and let police investigate

The naivete on this thread is truly shocking. Do you have any idea at all - any small notion - of how stretched the Police and other services are? All it would take is the notification of a couple of bullshit made up sensationalist threads and they'd never investigate another one again. Ever.
Some people really are a trolls dream demographic!

PurpleDaisies · 21/07/2016 08:26

However if it's deleted to "protect anonymity" then MNHQ must think potentially the family are identifiable - therefore they ought to report it properly
Identifiable by people who know them! That's not the same as easily identifiable by the police.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 21/07/2016 08:26

I'm referring to seemed very honest - it wasn't sensationalised.

Hmm

Hey OP, I know this week's winning lotto numbers.

Cross my palm with £50k and they're yours.

wherethewildthingis · 21/07/2016 08:26

difficult woman they are absolutely definitely legally obliged to have a child protection policy.

Redorwhitejusthaveboth · 21/07/2016 08:26

Actually it is possible to trace posters, and it is possible behind the scenes to get an idea of some level of truth or troll. Without outing myself massively I know this, and through a previous job I had on another forum, we developed a child and vulnerable person pathway , and have been in contact with health visitors, social services and CEOP following certain incidences.
However I have to say it was the most confusing and frustrating way to be dealing with worrying posts. Loads and loads were trolls, fabrications etc etc but there were plenty that weren't. The difficulty is trying to work out who, what, why,where and when.
I have no idea what mumsnet does behind the scenes with reported posts though.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 21/07/2016 08:27

An email to the poster could be hugely dangerous if they are living with an abuser.

I know the thread that you're referring too, but the provision in law for this is awkward. MN would have to hand over any identifiable data (emails/IPs etc) if contacted by law enforcement, but they are not responsible for reporting threads and its inadvisable to email people who post that type of thread.

There are online agencies, so you could report to them, but a thread on here would be low priority compared to child abuse images etc - especially as this place has a huge problem with people making things up, and the credibility of the spray thread was dodgy. There's also a good chance that the person who posted would deny it when approached by the police and social services, and claim it was false - which is not, in this context, a criminal offence. (Some trolling is, but not lying in a thread).

Then you've spent a fair amount of time and money investigating and tracking down the family, sending someone to speak to them, assessing the child... And it will probably all come to nothing, because if the parent is ready to live up to what is happening, they are likely to leave or report it themselves (and will have been encouraged to do so on here). If they aren't ready, they'll feel unable to post on the Internet to get honest advice and retain perspective in fear that they'll prompt another visit.

Roussette · 21/07/2016 08:28

OP... anything can seem like anything. It might be a new method by a troll - understated, not sensational... whatever...

Why are MN legally obliged to do something where? Where did you get that from? I would imagine if that was the case, MN would not exist TBH. Too much of a responsibility to be legally obliged to screen posts for possible abuse and then decide which ones to report to SS or the Police.

OP, you are so naive in all of this. But having worked in an area where a lot of reports and calls were hoax, I am coming at this from the other side. Believe me, what you are suggesting is not viable, possible or preferable.