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AIBU?

If it's the Special Needs session at the local splash park and you're not a SN family, would you stay or go?

484 replies

Waitrosejunkie1 · 20/07/2016 17:58

What would you do?

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NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 20/07/2016 19:03

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snowy508601 · 20/07/2016 19:03

We have had the 2 hottest days of the year of which children have been at school until 3.30 ish so it is a bit disingenuous to sy everyone else has lots of opportunity to use it.Under the circumstances this week I think it is reasonable for all the children to play there.
BTW not sure what you mean by 'splash park' is it the paddling pool at your local park?

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ExtraHotLatteToGo · 20/07/2016 19:04

If we were already there and it wasn't busy I'd stay, but if it seemed to be getting busy I'd leave to make room for any families with children with SN.
If we weren't already playing I wouldn't go in, but you know, sometimes that feels like we are avoiding it because the children have SN, which couldn't be further from the truth. It feels wrong either way.

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NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 20/07/2016 19:06

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honkinghaddock · 20/07/2016 19:06

I would expect families without children with sn to leave. Some children with sn cannot cope with large numbers of people there and sn sessions tend to have fewer numbers. If every non sn family thought it was OK to stay then the sessions would become too busy. You also know you are not going to get staring and comments about behaviour etc.

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MrsHathaway · 20/07/2016 19:08

Yy to laminated card or similar system. I don't think you'd need to prove your need when you applied - surely nobody would go to the trouble to lie for the sake of two hours a month.

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mamamea · 20/07/2016 19:09

Presumably it was busy because it was the one hot day per year in the UK?

I think YABU to expect a splash park (outside?) to be quiet on the hottest day of the year.

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Taylor22 · 20/07/2016 19:10

OP how big is this sign? How did the venue distinguish between the two times? Was there an announcement? Because honestly as a mum of a two yo and newborn I would have completly missed the sign and wouldn't have known anything about the session unless I was told once I was inside. So as a result wouldn't have left as I wound have know.
Also how do you know without doubt that those families shouldn't have been there?

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NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 20/07/2016 19:11

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5amisnotmorning · 20/07/2016 19:15

I can't believe that some of you think it would be OK to stay! So because your kids wanted to stay that would trump the needs of a child who has 1 session a month to use the facilities? Wow.

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DixieNormas · 20/07/2016 19:15

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LyndaNotLinda · 20/07/2016 19:22

NeedaScarf: There's a session for SN children at our local pool and NT people are welcome to be there as well, it's never been much of a problem as not lots of SN children go, so I've never really thought what would happen if lots turned up

Well perhaps you should. In your previous post, you said you 'couldn't tell' and then you say that not lots go. How do you know?

Do me a favour - leave. You might think you're welcome but you're really not.

We have tiny, tiny windows of time carved out for us and you are happy to stomp all over them because you don't want to disappoint your NT kids or it's not convenient or whatever.

I'm really tempted to be extremely rude but I don't want this post deleted because it's important so I'm not going to be. But be absolutely sure that this parent of a child with SN is bloody furious with you for your unthinking attitude.

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Waitrosejunkie1 · 20/07/2016 19:22

Today 19:04 ExtraHotLatteToGo

If we were already there and it wasn't busy I'd stay, but if it seemed to be getting busy I'd leave to make room for any families with children with SN.
If we weren't already playing I wouldn't go in, but you know, sometimes that feels like we are avoiding it because the children have SN, which couldn't be further from the truth. It feels wrong either way.


I know you're coming at this from a good place BUT it's not just about room. Or bigger kids knocking them over. It's also about families not having to worry about explaining stuff or staring, or their kids having to cope with the crowds. I appreciate it doesn't feel right for you, but in the kindest and most respectful way possible, it isn't about you.

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APlaceOnTheCouch · 20/07/2016 19:23

If it was clear it was a SN session then I would leave. But if the pool staff are expecting people already in the pool to read a sign and then check the time, then I think part of the blame lies with them. I'd expect the pool staff to sound a bell or blow a whistle, announce it's the start of the session and encourage others to leave. . . but now I'm wondering if that would be horribly insensitive because how can they judge who has SN?

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elodie2000 · 20/07/2016 19:24

I really do understand and agree with your point OP but also agree with the poster who asked 'how do you know who is SN and who isn't?' A card to allow access at these times is a very good idea.
As most people know, many SNs or indeed disabilities are hidden/ not obvious.

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LyndaNotLinda · 20/07/2016 19:26

Lorelei - we use NT/SN to distinguish those children who have invisible disabilities from those who don't. A child with a very obvious physical disability doesn't need any extra badge or laminated card to demonstrate that they have additional needs.

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NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 20/07/2016 19:27

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MrsHathaway · 20/07/2016 19:27

You could sign up for "more information for families of children with SN" which would give you a card (call it the Sunbeams Club or whatever) and details of the monthly sessions. Then the sign can say "today 5-7 pm Sunbeams Club only".

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LyndaNotLinda · 20/07/2016 19:28

Pool staff should announce the end of the session, in the same way they'd announce the end of lane swimming or whatever. And no, we don't need laminated cards thanks.

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NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 20/07/2016 19:28

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NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 20/07/2016 19:29

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elodie2000 · 20/07/2016 19:30

Just to add to my previous post, if my child didn't have SN, I would not use the facilities during SN sessions.

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NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 20/07/2016 19:30

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ErrolTheDragon · 20/07/2016 19:31

So some people think that because it was hot and their own kids might throw a tantrum be disappointed, the families with SN kids should just go home and come back when it's colder? Hmm

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Waitrosejunkie1 · 20/07/2016 19:31

I don't need a laminated card, although we do have one. What I need is for families who can use the splash park anytime, to leave during the SN session BECAUSE WE CANT ACCESS IT OTHERWISE.

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