If it's the Special Needs session at the local splash park and you're not a SN family, would you stay or go?

[Waitrosejunkie1]

What would you do?

[BluePancakes]

The only time I wouldn't leave would be if I'd been specifically invited - my DD1 is very good friends with a little girl on the spectrum, who wouldn't be able to cope with big crowds, but would enjoy having a friend there too, itms.

If it was just me and my girls, we'd leave without a second's thought.

[Waitrosejunkie1]

Yes Errol. That's exactly right. The weather makes non SN kids more important.

[LyndaNotLinda]

I can't believe you just typed that NeedaScarf and think it's okay.

What's your argument? Other people do it so why can't we?

And you can pretty much tell who are the kids with SN or you can't? Which is it?

It is absolutely disgusting that parents like you are taking your children to sessions that you know are designed for children with SN but you just don't care enough not to stop going.

My DS doesn't go to much because he can't cope with crowds. We don't go to festivals or fun days out or parks on sunny days or crowded swimming pools. Designated SN sessions because they're quiet mean that he enjoys himself and can relax.

But obviously, your need to avoid crowds because you might not find a locker is way more important.

Have a slow handclap. If you're not bloody ashamed of yourself and don't see this as exactly the same thing as parking your pushchair in a wheelchair space, you clearly aren't that bright.

[PandasRock]

The only real solution is, of course, proper inclusion, respect and reasonableness at all times. Sadly that is pie in the sky, for the most part.

I have 3 dc. All have ASD. Only dd1 'needs' SN sessions, the other two can generally cope in standard sessions, unless they are really packed.

BUT, most of the time, there is only me to take them out and about. So we cannot go to the standard sessions, because I cannot take dd1. If/when we go to the SN sessions, often they are fairly empty, meaning dd2 and ds do not have a grea time, as they have only each other to play with. They would greatly benefit from having a couple of considerate NT families around (as would I and dd1, as then I would be able to concentrate on helping dd1 more too).

The key, of course, is the balance, as I posted earlier.

But then, what suits me and mine doesn't necessarily suit others, which is what makes it even harder being a SN family, at times - I get well meaning friends telling me about the sessions, not realising that it can sometimes serve to make dd2 and ds feel even more isolated, and doesn't necessarily work for dd1 either if there is no one else around for her siblings to play with.

Sometimes, a lot of facilities would generally benefit from severely limiting numbers, with a sign up rota/maximum time to stay, as then a lot more peop,e would get a lot more benefit out of it all.

[Greenyogagirl]

Id hope you'd leave tbh a small window where I could relax knowing my son would be accepted and could play happily without me having to explain his needs, smile politely at ignorant fuckers making comments and whatever else. Special needs session kind of says it all really.

Those who say they wouldn't want to let their kids down, you could always go for a bite to eat, play on the park, a wander round shops etc it is only 2 hours. Or you could just explain you got the times wrong

[LyndaNotLinda]

Oh shit - I've totally got the wrong end of the stick haven't I? I did think your children were NT.

Fuck. I'm so sorry.

I've just had a massive run in with someone about SN and I'm on a bit of a rant. FORGIVE ME

[hazeyjane]

Lynda, Needascarf has a child with sn

[MrsHathaway]

Lynda this is not my area so I may have missed something very obvious, but why are cards offensive?

Surely they're the equivalent of a blue badge - it's more about the fact that some entitled chancer wouldn't have one and couldn't bluff their way through. More like a VIP pass than a Star of David.

The idea of giving the group a name is so that you don't get the crap descriptions on crap signs - those to whom they might apply might see a poster saying "if your child has then why not join for exclusive events" and those entirely NT families would just walk on by.

[MrsHathaway]

So some people think that because it was hot and their own kids might be disappointed, the families with SN kids should just go home and come back when it's colder?

Perfectly put, Errol.

[elodie2000]

Lynda - ' And no, we don't need laminated cards thanks.' I can't see the harm in it! Disabled people are badge holders for a variety of reasons, children have cards to prove their age so that they pay child fares, OAPs have cards for concessions, diabetics (and many others with serious medical conditions) have cards/bracelets to alert others to medical needs...

[littleprincesssara]

I wouldn't attend such a session as long as it was well advertised.

I am disabled so getting to a pool is an extreme challenge for me. My local pool never bothers to tell the public when the pool will be closed for special events (the website will say it's open but it'll actually only be open for certain groups), I do not find that acceptable.

[GabsAlot]

how hard is it to blow a whistgle to mark the end of a session ike they do in pools?

of course people should leave its once a month

[TheFairyCaravan]

I can't beleive people are justfifying staying. No one would pitch up when it's over 60's swimming and expect to be able to swim so why do you think it's acceptable to stay for a session for SN families if you're not one?

[elodie2000]

What MrsHatherway said ^

[HolaWeenie]

Is this in south east Essex by any chance?

[Ilovetea82]

I'd probably leave but I do think the sessions would need to be clearly marked and announced as I'm not sure I'd notice a sign up when struggling with a wriggling hot toddler.
But if invite along by someone I would go as I think it's good for my lo to have an understanding that everyone is different and some kids have different needs to him.

I think these sessions also need to be for specific types of sn eg my friend is deaf but see no reason why she needs to be treated differently, doesn't struggle in crowds but my cousin has auitisom and cannot cope with the simplest of things therefore would greatly benefit from quiet play time. I guess it's up to the parents. If it's a public park I can't see it being easy to police a card system.

[bumsexatthebingo]

As it was an sn specific session then families without sn should have left.
I think the question of 'how do you know they weren't families with sn' is a valid one though. It may have just been that a lot of sn families who don't usually attend turned up with the weather being nice/some children having finished school.
I attend a disability swimming session with my dc (1 with asd and 1 without) and my child with asd doesn't have visible additional needs. He does have issues which mean that regular swimming sessions are difficult though. I would hate to think sn families were thinking I shouldn't be there or that my dc were spoiling it for others.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

personally i would leave as you can enjoy the facilities any time.

We had the opposite situation a while ago when we took DD to an SN soft play session and then tried to pay for her to stay on in the public session and were told she wasn't allowed and had to leave.

Got profuse apologies from the management but haven't been back.

[sharknad0]

So some people think that because it was hot and their own kids might be disappointed,

never said that

What was said was that we are having a heat wave, not likely to last more than 2 days (already finished tomorrow around here), and kids are at school all day, so they have a very limited time when they can enjoy a splash park. What I said was that I would find it hard to kick out children wanting to have fun when they have no facilities at home, no other time at all to use the splash park. No one said it wasn't hard to have a disability, good grief, but a bit understanding towards deprived kids wouldn't hurt either. (and again, mine have the luxury of a garden, so they are not intruding anywhere).

[Laiste]

To those with NT saying they'd stay if it wasn't busy: surely the problem with that is, i'm guessing, that the question of ''how busy is busy?'' is very subjective and personal thing and something not up to the NT parents to make.

It might only take very few extra people to tip the balance and prevent an SN child from coming in. That couple too many might be the NT families hanging around 'until it got busy' ... in their opinion.

Better to just not stay.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

compared to many kids with SN they still have much much more chance to enjoy a swim park in general.