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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

If it's the Special Needs session at the local splash park and you're not a SN family, would you stay or go?

484 replies

Waitrosejunkie1 · 20/07/2016 17:58

What would you do?

OP posts:
LyndaNotLinda · 20/07/2016 19:47

Apologies again Need - thank you for being so gracious when I was being an utter twat.

Hmm - what's my issue with laminated cards? I suppose because I know some families whose children don't have diagnoses (actually mine doesn't have an official NHS one although he does get higher rate DLA) so I'm not sure what the criteria would be.

You're probably right though - it would be a good idea.

This whole thread has got me thinking about this family I saw who have a single child in DS's year who attended the family fun day at the disabled children's centre park. There was free food and loads of activities. I was surprised to see them there but they said their DS didn't have SN, it was just a free day out! There were loads and loads of massive extended families really just taking the piss - one child with a disability and eleventy million aunties and uncles rocking up and eating the free pulled pork.

Now they've stopped the free parties because they're uneconomical :(

We have a local disabled children's group which organise days out but because they organise them, they know the families. And it's pretty obvious that all the kids are disabled, particularly when they're all together Grin

honkinghaddock · 20/07/2016 19:49

If everyone was allowed in because it was a hot day then 'everyone' wouldn't be able to use it because children like my son wouldn't cope with it.

sharknad0 · 20/07/2016 19:50

That is what you mean by splash park, isn't it?
You can't blame kids to find it hard to resist on a very hot day.

If it's the Special Needs session at the local splash park and you're not a SN family, would you stay or go?
rumblingDMexploitingbstds · 20/07/2016 19:50

I wouldn't stay. Every single other session is available for NT kids to enjoy as the prioritised audience, why crash the one protected for the more vulnerable kids and their families who often struggle with the standard sessions or can't access them at all. Pure selfishness.

Owlytellsmesecrets · 20/07/2016 19:54

I would expect NT kids except siblings of SN child to leave.
I don't think people realise how important it is to have these sessions available. When it's too busy My DS can't cope. He have mental and physical disabilities and his siblings can't access it at any other time as the SN child can't.
We have to take holidays in term time and write begging letters as DS couldn't do crowds...

Walk in our shoes, then you'll see why it's important !!!

Pestilence13610 · 20/07/2016 19:54

Shark SN kids have 2 pre ordained hours per month. This is bloody England, summer is often cold and rainy, just because one bloody special needs sessions happens to be on a sunny day, you think it should be cancelled so your special little snowflakes can enjoy the novelty of sun and heat, did you mean to be so rude and discriminative?

Laiste · 20/07/2016 19:55

There always seems to be if's but's and maybe's around provision for SN. Coming from the NT side i mean.

I'm learning on MN what bloody hard work it is for those with SN to access what they've already been granted - let alone how hard it must be to fight for what they should be entitled to :(

user7755 · 20/07/2016 19:56

Sharknado - I assume from your post that you don't have kids with additional needs?

HermioneWeasley · 20/07/2016 19:56

With only 2 hours a month, it is much more likely that the Kids with SNs will miss out on the odd warm day than the other way round.

No decent person would stay. It's outrageous.

swooosh · 20/07/2016 19:57

On the Herts/Essex border? I've seen the FB posts. The sign was small at child height on the gate from what I've read. There needs to be bigger signs. Maybe leaflets handed out to those using the park in the lead up. Ad in the local paper.

TheFairyCaravan · 20/07/2016 20:00

Shark they don't have to resist on a hot day. They just need to find something else to do between 5-7. It's not bloody difficult.

RichardBucket · 20/07/2016 20:00

You can't blame kids to find it hard to resist on a very hot day.

Absolutely not. But you can and should blame parents who infringe on an SN session because they think their children are more important than the SN kids. There are several such parents on this thread and I blame them all.

ErrolTheDragon · 20/07/2016 20:01

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Pestilence13610 · 20/07/2016 20:03

Richard I shall blame the parents also.

Peasandsweetcorn · 20/07/2016 20:03

Definitely leave. And I can't see why this is an issue for the management. Presumably on a hot day like today they are limiting how long you can stay for. If, as an example, you can stay for an hour than anyone who has turned up at any time has been told that and given an appropriate coloured wristband and those arriving from 4pm are told that they will have less than an hour as there is a SN session from 5pm. On being told that, NT families can decide whether to stay but for a shorter time period than they thought or just not go. If families arriving before 5pm happen to have an SN family member, they can tell the staff & stay in when everyone else gets out. It would be annoying if you turned up at 4.30 but this is a one off minor inconvenience & nothing compared to what SN families will have to deal with on a regular basis.

Tanaqui · 20/07/2016 20:05

If it's like the one in sharks picture, I can imagine it would be possible to miss a small sign- I was imagining a pool where announcements could be made. Is there a lifeguard or anyone to tell people? If not, and it's just like a swings and slides,
the sign should be really obvious as you are relying on people noticing. Obviously they should leave then though.

Lunar1 · 20/07/2016 20:10

Not the point of the thread i know but it's always worth talking to your local pool staff. I take my friends ds swimming once a week. They put on a lifeguard 15/20 mins early for us before the pool officially opens so we get it to ourself. He can't really walk very well, but can run circles round the pool with help of the water.

I used to take him at the regular family swim times but it was just so hard to manage.

ErrolTheDragon · 20/07/2016 20:12

If the system just relies on signs, I'm afraid you're always going to get people who ignore them, as happens with the no dogs or age limits on playgrounds. Either people who think the rules don't apply to them, or in this case probably so many that it's 'everyone's doing it'.

Lilly948204 · 20/07/2016 20:13

OP I have just briefly skimmed through this thread and personally your responses seem really rude. I understand your frustration but your initial post wasn't very clear and you can't just "shout" at people in capitals because they don't agree with you. The other parents probably had no idea of the upset they were causing, and as such the people who run the location need to make them aware that they shouldn't be there during this time.

rumblingDMexploitingbstds · 20/07/2016 20:14

You can't blame kids to find it hard to resist on a very hot day.

Of course not. But this is surely where any decent parent explains to them about SN and helps them understand why this session is protected and they have every single other session. And helps them focus on the huge positives like having every other session and being lucky enough not to have SN or a disability instead of getting stuck on being upset that there's a 'no'.

MajesticSeaFlapFlap · 20/07/2016 20:17

Can I ask a question?
My son is (newly) physically disabled, visually on first glance there's nothing wrong with him other than looking incredibly thin and a limp, could he go to these sessions?
He won't go to normal swim because he thinks people will take the piss. It's a shame because he loved swimming

rumblingDMexploitingbstds · 20/07/2016 20:21

Lynda Hmm - what's my issue with laminated cards? I suppose because I know some families whose children don't have diagnoses (actually mine doesn't have an official NHS one although he does get higher rate DLA) so I'm not sure what the criteria would be.

Good point. I always think like with the 'this buggy is actually my child's wheelchair' issue, it would be good to have a simple, basic card or pass a family can use that could be signed for on a form by a HV, school or preschool/nursery SENCo to confirm the child has a SEND need.

Pestilence13610 · 20/07/2016 20:23

Majestic these sessions would be good for him.
There are loads of different types of special needs. Some groups specialise in one way or another, others are a random and often happy mix. Loads of special needs are not very visible.

sharknad0 · 20/07/2016 20:25

you think it should be cancelled so your special little snowflakes can enjoy the novelty of sun and heat

once again, as I have written at least 3 times, my own kids have a swimming pool and half a toy shop in their garden, countless holidays on the beach planned this year, we do not need to go to the park and would not intrude or steal someone else place there!
I said I was feeling sorry for deprived kids who do not have that luxury and want to enjoy the 2 days of heat wave we are having this year!

It's easy to monitor entrance in a swimming pool, but a splash park in an outdoor park (which is what we are talking about) is a bit more difficult. Did you mean to be so optuse?Bloody hell, we have refugiees welcomed in my town this week, do you think their mum can even read English?

Pestilence13610 · 20/07/2016 20:29

An Autism card makes the difference between my son getting arrested and getting offered a lift home. Confused

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