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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the school are wrong to arrange a trip at such short notice?

27 replies

Fianceechickie · 20/07/2016 10:18

My DSS school sent a letter on Friday...three days before the end of term saying there is a residential costing £310 in October. My DH's ex forgot to tell us today which has meant us making a decision this morning. Apparently it can be paid in instalments over the hols but Aibu to think that unacceptably short notice? It's the end of July already. Surely a trip like this should be organised further in advance. I want my DH to contact the school and complain but he won't and it's difficult as all we get is a text from his ex saying my DSS really wants to go...money isn't an issue for her, or I suspect most of the parents at his school but we are really short at the moment... Feeling really cross!

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 20/07/2016 10:19

Yanbu

Dds school run meetings months before hand

Original poster
Fianceechickie · 20/07/2016 10:32

Yes same with my son's school. I'm a teacher and I'm sure and get loads of complaints if I tried this and the trip would fail as kids would just not go! So annoying! Feel there's nothing I can do though. We are literally not going to be able to do anything that costs anything over summer as money so tight so am wondering what else will have to go to pay for this!

OP posts:
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 20/07/2016 10:36

If she has the money, surely she should be paying?

Yokohamajojo · 20/07/2016 10:39

Totally out of order! our school were later than they usually are but still a lot more time to pay and because they had been later than usual they extended the time to pay in installments.

I guess if the ex won't pay the whole you may have to ask her if your DH can pay her in installments until later

HereIAm20 · 20/07/2016 10:45

However is it an annual thing that that particular year group go on that residential. If so there may be an assumption on the school's part that parents are aware that its coming up. Also perhaps Dh's ex had been informed earlier in the year but only brought it up when the cash is needed?

caroldecker · 20/07/2016 10:50

4 months notice (july to october) insufficient?

PotteringAlong · 20/07/2016 10:53

It's 4 months notice. If they told you in January about a trip at Easter would you think that was too short notice?

quasibex · 20/07/2016 10:53

YANBU we had to confirm attendance for October residential trip in May and our school are normally awful at giving notice

irregularegular · 20/07/2016 10:55

Hmmmm. Doesn't seem too bad to me to be honest. I think the main problem is the short deadline for making a decision - wouldn't be so bad if it was during term and there was more time.

My son is on a trip this week with the school football team. Cost a similar amount and we didn't know anything about it until 1st July! I thought that was too short notice and might stop people coming.

Would the school be happy for your to spread the installments beyond the trip if necessary, given the circumstances.

Stillunexpected · 20/07/2016 10:57

I'm not seeing the issue really. Either you can afford the trip or not, telling you months ago isn't really going to make much difference in whether your DSS goes. School send a letter on Friday, wants a response by Wed, the trip is 3+ months away. It is not school's fault that your ex (and apparently your DSS) haven't mentioned it until the last minute. Why are you the only ones paying for it? Why isn't DSS' mum contributing?

Gymboree567 · 20/07/2016 10:59

For a trip costing that much I would expect 6 months notice, £50 a month would be do able for most families, I would complain to the school I always do!

LIZS · 20/07/2016 11:00

I wonder if this is really the first they've heard of it. Hmm We get a planner of proposed trips up to a year ahead. Or it could be there was a cancellation at the centre and the school was on a waiting list so took the opportunity.

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/07/2016 11:02

Given its over the summer hols where people are going on holiday snd finishing paying off the holiday.....

With twins its double so imagine 2 months notice for 310. And 4 for 620

branofthemist · 20/07/2016 11:03

Are you sure this is the first the ex has heard of it? Even if it was just a letter to remind parents it's coming up or mention it.

October isn't really short notice though, or does it have to be paid by September?

Dds school sent a letter saying there was a trip to London £300. The sponsor of £60 had to be paid the next morning if she wanted to go. Unfortunately it was a no. I couldn't produce £60 in 18 hours.

youngestisapsycho · 20/07/2016 11:04

If DSS mum has plenty of money, why are you paying for it? Your DH needs to tell her she will have to pay or help pay if DSS wants to go.

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/07/2016 11:07

Three days before end of term whn parents might not even be picking up and theres no way to speak to teachers in the 6 weeks off, how is it acceptable.

4 months it may be BUT for half that time payment plans cant be discussed at all

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/07/2016 11:21

And how with 3 days notice can parents get time off work to disciss with the school

DonkeyOaty · 20/07/2016 11:23

Slight tangent here but could DH request school send out info to him contemporaneously.

allowlsthinkalot · 20/07/2016 11:27

£50 a month doable for most families?!! Some people have no idea...

ApostrophesMatter · 20/07/2016 11:35

Why are you paying? If money isn't a problem for the ex she can pay, surely?

Gymboree567 · 20/07/2016 12:43

I said MOST families, if your family can't afford £12.50 a week spare, our school has help available for low income families

tinyterrors · 20/07/2016 13:10

It's not even four months notice given its the third week of July and the trip could be the first week of October. It would take us a good seven months to save that up and even then it would be a case of absolutely no treats, not even a magazine to be able to afford it.

If dss's mum can easily afford it then she can pay for it or he doesn't go. No way should your dcs have to have a rubbish summer just so your dss can go on an expensive school trip.

Original poster
Fianceechickie · 20/07/2016 14:19

I'm not sure when the ex heard about it. Sometime last week. DH has found out that they are saying trip is optional bit of course DSS wants to go. I think she's only asking us to pay half but we don't even know when I'm October it is or when it has to be paid up by. I agree she could easily afford to just pay herself but won't do that on principle and will say she can't afford to. The thing is my DSD went on residentials in year 5 and 6..that's what the school offers. Hers were both in the summer though so we didn't see this coming at all. The school are very disorganised I reckon they tried to book it late and could only get October.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fianceechickie · 20/07/2016 14:22

He has requested on lots of occasions that the school send him info but of course they never do.

OP posts:
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 20/07/2016 14:30

Is your dp friends with any other parents of kids in dss class or year?

I used to forward all our texts and emails to a friend as school only send info to his kids mum.

School used to send to both, but had stages of only sending to mum.

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