What perfectly acceptable things that make you unreasonably angry?

[BrotherBeer]

Every morning DH asks me to check over his face for random missed shaving bits and blemishes. Then when I tell him he's fine, he says 'Are you sure?'. Just look in the fucking mirror you dick.

I speak to my mum everyday on the phone. She always asks me what we're having for tea. I tell her then she tells me whether she likes that particular meal or not (usually not). I'm not inviting her round so why do I care if she likes my tea or not?

I'm an unreasonable person.

Almost everything. But today I am particularly annoyed by the following:

Noisy fans.
Relatives who visit at tea time, apologise and but continue to visit at tea time so it goes cold/burnt.
Elderly relatives who tell you the same story every time they visit.
Elderly relatives who tell you in far too much detail about their medical problems. I didn't need to hear about your constipation but thank you for updating me.
Phone chargers that only work at a very specific angle when 4 planets are aligned and stop charging when the cat yawns outside.
People who fart when I'm talking to them
People from the South who comment on my accent/a dialect word as if it's the most ridiculous thing they've ever heard, often mocking me in an over the top Peter Kay voice even though I'm not from Bolton
People who bulk buy everything when the sun comes out. I wanted lemonade lollies and now I have shit orange Fabs. Bloody selfish.
People who tell their children to fuck off.
People who cannot talk, they must shout.
Loud motorbikes.
Grass.
Sinking garden furniture.
Insects.
The bloody stupid ecigs with massive clouds of smoke that fill the entire building and smell like air freshener. You wouldn't spark up in a lecture/supermarket/bus/cinema/library/waiting room for fuck's sake
People who complain about people who say like a lot. Language evolves
The fact I feel the need to end my list now even though there's at least 100 more things I'm outraged about I am a reasonable person, I swear.

Another vote for Pavement Bastards. I must be wearing a t-shirt - like the Frankie Says Relax ones - that reads no it's fine; I am quite okay in the gutter whilst you and your chums have the entire pavement.

I have become a little less wet and weedy of late - I will often stick to my trajectory now. Some young lass took a glancing blow from my leather shopper the other day; she and her gurning friends already had 97.9% of the available pavement width. Thinking of having whirling side blades fitted a la Ben Hur.

The incorrect use of less and fewer

That gambling advert about the spin of the wheel, tonight we play etc. Argh.

All perfume adverts. Every single one.

Flies. Why do they exist?

"What's for dinner?"
It's perfectly reasonable, I'm the one that cooks everyday, yet that question make me want to stab people. Why??

Taking my children into the changing room at the swimming pool. It's always so hot in their that it makes me grumpy. I also hate the use of the word 'hun'.

When you catch an item of clothing on a door handle. I mean if you tried to do it you wouldn't be able to but it happens an unfeasible amount of times. Walking through the door, minding my own business then WHAM! yanked back by the arm of my cardigan sleeve. Bastarding fucking door handles.

People who press the button at the lights when I have already pressed it. As if my pressing it is somehow less effective than their galliant efforts.

Oh and people who 'feel blessed' on FB. Basically it means feeling smug. Piss off with your blessedness.

Separatedbymoroways i feel the same on the bus when someone presses the bell after I've already done it.

Signs in toilets that remind us to 'please wash your hands'. If we are the type of filthy git that needs reminding. I doubt very nice that a twee little sign will suddenly make the hand washing happen.

When DH starts a sentence with "like I said.." And then proceeds to tell me something for the umptymillionth time.

It gives me THE RAGE...

DP constantly sneezing because he has hay fever. I know he can't help it but it makes me want to suffocate him in his sleep

*very much

My tablet changing what I've typed. That annoys me.

People who say 'I reached out to...' rather than 'I got in touch with...'

Kiiiiiiiill them...

I turned around and said, then she turned around and said...

No, no you fucking didn't, unless you are cowboys or on a merry-go-round noone is actually turning.

I get absolutely furious when my washing machine filter gets blocked. Whose great idea was it to design it so that you unscrew the front and gallons of water spew out with no chance of catching it in a tray as its 2mm off the ground and pours under the machine. I once had a cheap machine with a drainage pipe with stopper but not on my top of the range hot point. I suffer machine rage.

People who put a kiss at the end of a Facebook status.

"Just had a great girly shopping day! xx".

Piss off.

DH being right about minor things, then pointing out how right he was, even though I didn't contradict him.
People thinking I'm over 50, when in fact I'm only slightly over 50.
Anyone routinely using abbreviations such as ppl or n for no good reason. Perfectly comprehensible, but stop bloody doing it unless you're seriously short of time or paper.

People misusing 'ignorant' as a catch-all adjective for anything remotely annoying.

The way this sunny weather is ruined by noisy cars with fat exhausts, mopeds, too many people around, shirtless people, noise... I'm more of a fan of the other colder seasons anyway but they are so much more peaceful! Everyones hiding in their cave

A topical one is giving me the red mist of rage today. Flying fucking ants. Just why? They live 24 hours and serve exactly no purpose - useful or otherwise. WHY? Why flying ants? Who sent them? WHY?

Pouty faced selfie takers

I want to punch you!! A lot!

People who leave their Christmas lights up ALL YEAR.

The current McDonalds advert on the radio at breakfast where he gets his words all wrong as he's not 'quite woken up' it's just so naff it gives me the rage.