Anyone do AmDram? AIBU?

[YourNewspaperIsShit]

More like would it be unreasonable

So i would love to join one of my local Amateur Dramatic Societies and be on stage I think it would be really good for me, i was a competitive dancer from when I was really young but haven't touched a stage in 11 years. I found the competition side of things really traumasing. It turns out I am High Functioning Autistic and that would explain where my difficulties lay.

Any way I literally dream about singing and dancing, etc. I don't have many friends and I'm a SAHM and don't even have any hobbies. I'm getting really low about it to be honest.

Here's the problems:

1. I don't know how I'm going to cope until I try it, i may have to quit or I may get very upset if something goes wrong (not during a performance more like practicing and getting frustrated). WIBU to expect them to be ok with that? Surely it would hinder other people
   
   
2. I also have kids and if my OH is at work when rehearsal is then I likely won't be able to attend, i don't know if that's something they're used to or something that means I can't join.
   
   
3. I find meeting new people very difficult, sometimes I come across as either very scared or annoying/giddy and I know it's important to be a team member so WIBU to expect everyone to give me a bit of space to integrate and understand what's going on?
   
   
4. I have visible tattoos and facial dermal piercings (you can't take them out). So obviously they might think being in character/costume is impossible for me. Although I've thought it through and there's cover-up makeup and I believe I'm good enough with SFX makeup that I could latex over the piercings and blend with my skin.
   
   I've never done it before and think I'm probably asking too much from others. Be brutal, would you say I just can't do it and should find something else? I've tried other hobbies but i was on stage since 2 years old I know it's where I want to be.

[SummerRosie321]

CarlGrimes can you pm me ad well as I have a friend who is very interested in doing.

[gillybeanz]

Just go for it, if it isn't for you then nothing lost.
I used to be in Operatic society (same thing) really, from being a child to leaving home and loved it.

The point I will make is there may be a problem with missing rehearsals, because it is a social as well and the MD/ Choreographer will at times be fighting a losing battle to get the night's plan rehearsed, absences will be noticeable. But if it isn't too often, they might be fine with it.

Could you not have a sitter, they tend to be only a couple of hours plus your travel times.

[Ionacat]

My babysitters have come through my friends in the amdram group I belong to, from teenage daughters/sons to members/wives. You get to know each other so quickly through rehearsals that I had no problem trusting them. I'm completely hooked now and have been a member for nearly 10 years. My group is very friendly and everyone helps each other out.

[sianais]

I'm an amdram member with a little one (13m). I was in a show pregnant, then missed 2 weeks of rehearsal for the next to give birth! But then when my little one was around 5-6 months it got more difficult to attend rehearsals as DD wouldn't settle if I took her and finding a sitter was hard so I share your pain. It was frustrating for the directors at times but I was upfront about it and managed to do OK at my small part- I have the lead and title role in our next show so it obviously didn't bother them too much!
We've also had autistic cast members and IME, musical theatre groups are some of the friendliest people and many are there as a form of therapy/confidence booster themselves, so you'll be far from alone. (our rehearsals start at 7:30 too if that helps!)
I guess what I'm trying to say is, as long as you're upfront about everything with the directors/comittee and inform them of any impossible dates before casting and rehearsals, many groups will be able to work with you- after all, amdram is at its heart an inclusive hobby. If you want to do it, go for it!

P.S in our group you audition to be a performing member- if you pass this audition then you're always welcome in chorus and can audition for parts as long as subs are paid. So unlikely you'll get shunted for stage crew if your area does it this way.

[YourNewspaperIsShit]

Trafalgar i know it's your right to comment but can you please maybe leave me alone I never once said all HFA can't let people in I said that I can't I was just repeating what I've already said. Wanting to know exactly where I live (which is really not a well populated area I would be identified immediately by someone in a 30mile radius) isn't something I'm comfortable with. If you've never came across anywhere like that in the UK then you've likely never visited. If you chose not to believe me about babysitters then that's fine but where I live is very rural we just don't have people round here who do the kind of thing you're suggesting. We have nanny's and stuff (rarely) but I'm not comfortable with that and I shouldn't have to say so more than once. You said yourself everyone on the broad spectrum is different and in my case that's not an adjustment that can be made. I'm not bloody lying about it I don't imply anything and clearly you don't understand Autism if you haven't clicked on that I'm extremely literal and that commenting nit-picking at me wouldn't cause distress because it does. I can cope with most MN stuff and anyone who says I'm not right for AmDram I can accept based on facts but there's no need to derail in the manner you are doing.

[iklboo]

I met DH at amdram

[iklboo]

And ours was a very inclusive group - people with all abilities, including autism. Maybe go and see some shows put on by groups in your area & see which one 'grabs' you - speak to the cast / director afterwards (they usually descend on the bar after they've git changed).

[trafalgargal]

I was actually as literal as you were- but I'm sorry if that made you feel bad. That wasn't my intention - but I'm experienced enough with HFA issues(as well as AmDram) to know that success in stepping out of your comfort zone aware of what challenges you might face is prewarned is prearmed . However clearly all you want to hear is assurances that everything will be easy and rosy and everyone will be able and willing to accommodate you. I hope you are right....as you say you live in a very different world to me one where everyone has a nanny and no-one uses babysitters so perhaps everyone is completely accepting and understanding of HFA too. If that's true you are indeed blessed. Break a leg !

[Lovecat]

I joined our local group when DD was 2 - rehearsals didn't start til 7.30 so it gave me ample time to get her settled for bed before going out leaving her with DH - but I'm fortunate that he's a homebody and his idea of heaven is an evening with the remote to himself :o

Each group is different and you may have to try a few before you find one that clicks with you - if they have websites it's a good idea to search these and see how they 'feel' to you. We have 2 diagnosed HFA members (and several people we suspect may be undiagnosed) and they get on well with everyone - we also have dyslexic and deaf members and we do everything we can to make auditioning and performing as easy and unstressful as we can - that said, if you don't have the talent, you won't get cast. But if you audition well, there's no bar to you walking into a main part (my first show I had a major role and I was the lead in the second - but I've also been back row of the panto chorus with no lines at all and I enjoy it just as much!).

With my director's hat on, I'd echo everyone else and say that unreliability with rehearsals is a bugbear, but what I used to do was take DD to the hall and get DH to pick her up on his way home from work on the odd occasion he was running late. As long as you keep the lines of communication open and be upfront about things, most people will be accommodating (in my experience, anyway). Also most groups will bite your arm off if you offer to do backstage/props/techie stuff.

Go for it and have fun! :o

[CarlGrimesMissingEye]

summer you have a PM