My mother has 2 children - me and my sister. My sister has 2 children and I have none.
For background - we are mixed - our father is English and mother Arabic. Me, my sister and mother and one of my nieces live in England, my other niece lives in our Arabic country.
My mother owns 7 pieces of land/houses all together (in her home country) - thus far, one piece is my sister's and another mine. The other 5 seem to be up for grabs. My mother has told me she'd like to make provisions in her will for both nieces wrt her estate. As I have no kids obviously there's nothing to be given to non-existent children.
My niece that is currently in the UK is severely disabled - she'll never lead an independent life and my other niece lives in our home country and is currently being supported by my mother wrt to school and upkeep etc - she's 21.
I should add that I have a massive family - my mum is 1 of 10 and I have countless cousins. My mother has paid a great deal of money towards their upkeep over the years - this meant paying for food, housing, bills, private education - the lot.
I've made it patently clear to my mother that I will not do the same. My niece often texts my mother asking for money and was surprised to learn that due to a sick spell my mother couldn't afford it. She is nearing retirement now and though she has a good nest egg for herself, she's now wondering what to do with the rest of her estate.
For one or two reasons I won't be having children in the near future. I can't afford them, I have no partner with whom I'd see a future with and I'm still changing careers.
My mother has a chronic condition which means she might not make it into her twilight years.
In her plans she'd obviously leave the 2 pieces of land that me and my sis already own to ourselves. But this leaves the question over the other 5 - which have appreciated quite a lot over the years. She wants to leave a provision for my niece over here who will need life long care when my sister can no longer manage it. She also wants to house 2 of my aunts and their children and also wants to leave my other niece something.
As it stands I'd only inherit my current bit of land. She's asking me to pay into the maintenance of the houses on the other pieces of land which I might not inherit - this isn't cheap and I'd feel resentful doing so. I'm now feeling like I want to walk away from the whole situation and let them all deal with it themselves when the time comes. Give up my bit of land and be done with. Perhaps only going back to home country for holidays if the feeling takes me. I've grown up here and don't feel the strong family ties with the others that she does. Despite being half Arab, when I'm there I'm still very much 'foreign'.
I love my mother and she's gone above and beyond in terms of paying for my education and lifestyle choices and also acting as a confidante. I suppose maybe I should take the view that I have a better way of living and more choices than the rest of that side of the family. When my father died over here, everything he owned went to his kids from his first marriage and his wife. My sister and I didn't get a look in and were lucky to be invited to the funeral.
I don't know what I'm asking, I suppose I'd rather just drop the whole thing. My mother's side of the family is full of so much drama - I don't even speak fluent Arabic (my sister does) and feel I'd end up getting screwed either way.