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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask how much you would pay....

82 replies

Bellyrub1980 · 18/07/2016 12:50

... friend who is stepping in to babysit for a whole day?

My lovely friend has agreed to look after my 20mo DD all day soon. She is in debt and I'd like to pay her the 'going rate' but I have no idea what that is.

What should I give her per hour?

OP posts:

Damselindestress · 18/07/2016 20:30

To be clear I wouldn't expect any money for helping a friend, I just wouldn't be offended if they offered.

RubbleBubble00 · 18/07/2016 20:34

Our daycare is £38 a day (north) so would give that

milkysmum · 18/07/2016 20:38

Bloody hell I was gonna say offer her £20! A full day in nursery is about £35- this is a friend helping friend with a day's childcare 😳

Crunchymum · 18/07/2016 20:44

I'd pay £100.... my DD is not easy!!!

Rowanhart · 18/07/2016 20:51

Her mate is in serious debt and is clearly willing to help out despite own difficulties.

Therefore I'd give what I could afford/what was fair which would be either minimum wage plus expenses £72 for 10 hours plus what, £20?) or just round up to £100.

Original poster

Bellyrub1980 · 18/07/2016 22:57

Thank you for all the responses!

She is one of my oldest friends of about 20 years. She is a lecturer at a college and fantastic with my DD. I'm not quite ready to let my PFB go with a childminder just yet, so I'm asking my friend purely out of selfish reasons so I won't feel so panicky leaving her.

She is in a lot of debt but has a good job so working herself out of it steadily, however she is really very worried about it. She doesn't like accepting handouts and probably isn't expecting any form of payment but since she knows I would have to pay a childminder anyway I think she'd see it as honest pay for an honest day's work. She doesn't have children and our friendship recently has been more her helping me out than the other way round. I feel I owe her in that respect.

We live in the West Country.

I asked her how much her (registered child carer) cousin charges and she said 5 years ago she charged £10 a day!!! Seems criminally low compared to what you all pay.

Anyway, based on all your answers and what I can afford, I'm going to go for £50 and pay for a cinema trip.

It's very unlikely to become a regular thing as my two main careers are GP's and my usual back up is my sister. All three are on holiday! Very unusual all at once.

OP posts:

Original poster

Bellyrub1980 · 18/07/2016 22:58

*main CARERS

OP posts:

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 19/07/2016 04:21

Well, I hope they have a nice day together 😊

karmapolice97 · 19/07/2016 05:08

I recently had to use a sitter agency for a full work day (2 young kids). Current rate is £7.60ph for daytime. (7.20 for evenings) You could say you looked into that so wanted to pay the equivalent.

£50 plus cinema sounds nice and from what you say probably less likely to shock/offend her when you hand it over. But you would be paying even an agency sitter (vetted but not necessarily with childcare qualifications) much more and be much less happy leaving them by the sound of it.

StealthPolarBear · 19/07/2016 05:49

Choc did I read that right? £45 per hour?!

Artandco · 19/07/2016 06:45

Milky - nursery is £88 from 8am-6pm here. That's not one to one care though it is. Hence nannies are more like £130 gross a day.

milkysmum · 19/07/2016 18:43

Jeez £88 a day!! Glad I live in the north of England then ( I presume this is London prices?) I totally get that a nanny etc is more but we are talking about paying a friend for a favour- it is completely different. It is like paying a mate for a lift to town the same price you would pay a taxi firm- you just wouldn't would you?

Artandco · 19/07/2016 19:52

Yep London prices. Friend car lift wise, if I knew they were struggling and I could afford to, then yes I would opt them similar price to a taxi for convienince of a) knowing they are reliable b) helping them out in a way they can accept as they are helping out also

splendide · 19/07/2016 21:17

I pay £75 a day for nursery. Maybe I should move north!

Ghodavies · 19/07/2016 21:18

Childminders do not receive NMW!!

Galdos · 19/07/2016 21:26

It's a market question, surely? What would it cost in your area to hire someone through an agency/from a website? Factor in whether the person has First Aid etc by comparison with commercial providers, but the bottom line is: if they won't do it for £X, will anyone else?

In my area the going rate (without any CRB/First Aid etc) seems to be £10 hourly. DD1 babysits for neighbours occasionally, and gets £20 - 30. But these are all evening prices. I'd have thought all day may command a premium, as fewer people may be willing to do it.

WoahSlowDown · 19/07/2016 21:35

I think £50 plus ac I I a trip sounds lovely for your friend. It's generous of you but I also think it's fair.

Hope it goes well.

AuditAngel · 19/07/2016 21:48

I rarely need to use a paid baby sitter, (assorted Grannies, aunties and older step cousins) but when I do, they have been sourced via the nursery the DC used to attend, and I have paid £8 per hour (West London)

awesomeness · 19/07/2016 21:48

I look after my ex childminders kids about once a month, for a full day and she does me favours too, to be fair I wouldn't want paying and she does the same for me about once a month and even though she's a childminder she doesn't charge because she's a friend

I'd get her a nice bunch of flowers and money for spends etc and stop worrying about the 'going rate' etc it's more about showing your appreciation

MrsArchchancellorRidcully · 19/07/2016 21:58

Christ on a bike!!!!! How much!!!!!!!!!!!

I live in N wales and we paid £34 a day for full time nursery, £18 for 1/2 a day at childminder, £2.50-£5 for after school club and £24 a day for full day at holiday club (though we send packed lunch).

Jeez louise I'm glad I live where I live.

elh1605 · 19/07/2016 22:00

As it's a friend who is doing a favor and unqualified I'd suggest £75 for 10hrs plus expenses for an outing say £90/95 in total max and then all food and drink. But I wouldn't give her a wad of cash as it may embarrass her. Give her £10/20 for expenses before you go out then the rest in the Thank you card when you get back. Good for you for thinking this way

Original poster

Bellyrub1980 · 19/07/2016 22:03

It went really well! DD had loads of fun and friend was happy to take the money. I feel I could ask her again on the same basis but unlikely to be more than a few times a year.

OP posts:

elh1605 · 19/07/2016 22:04

As a qualified registered nanny the going rate where I am is £10.50-£12ph during the day. £10ph at night before midnight and rises after midnight. You pay for what you get.

TinySalmon · 19/07/2016 22:04

The nursery at the end of our street charges £98.00 a day, or £1,700 a month if your child is there Mon-Fri. They don't offer half days.

We would pay our babysitter £10 an hour though.

Should mention that we live in a niace part of central London

Artandco · 19/07/2016 22:13

Mrs - holiday club here is £55, and only 10-3pm

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