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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask how much you would pay....

82 replies

Bellyrub1980 · 18/07/2016 12:50

... friend who is stepping in to babysit for a whole day?

My lovely friend has agreed to look after my 20mo DD all day soon. She is in debt and I'd like to pay her the 'going rate' but I have no idea what that is.

What should I give her per hour?

OP posts:
AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected · 18/07/2016 15:15

Here the going rate is about £6/hr for someone with no childcare qualifications or certs, and £8hr for someone with teaching or childcare quals and DBS/life support certs.

I wouldn't pay £9/hr unless she had all the life support etc certs

£60 for the day sounds about right to me, but I guess you could bump it up to around £70 for min wage?

AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected · 18/07/2016 15:17

Around here nannies have babysitting rates which are lower than their nannying rate

I one off would be their babysitting rate rather than nannying unless you were expecting lots of nannyish tasks like homework supervision

However if the friend is minding in her own home then the rate is much much lower, because technically it's more childminding than babysitting (babysitting is in kids own home) you can have more than one kid over IYKWIM

Shortandsweet20 · 18/07/2016 15:18

Am I the only one who thinks what if it becomes a permanent thing and OP is then paying £100 a time? I think £70 is reasonable if it's a one off and you're covering food expenses etc?

If she has qualifications etc, then that could be different

Rowanhart · 18/07/2016 15:20

Minimum wage plus expenses at least.

£100 would look really generous and will feel like a fortune to her, if struggling at the moment, so that's what I'd do.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 18/07/2016 15:22

If I offered to look after a friends child for the day I wouldn't expect to be paid anything, I'd be happy to have her or I wouldn't have offered. I'd actually be a bit upset if you were trying to work out how much to 'pay' me.
Unless, I guess, there was already an imbalance in the relationship which pre dates this - such as her being an ex employee or being very much younger.

ExtraHotLatteToGo · 18/07/2016 15:25

Unless you have said 'I'll pay you' and she's agreed to it on that basis, I'd get a thank you card, thank her for the favour & if you want to put some money inside then put whatever YOU think is reasonable and say something like 'Thank you, I really appreciate the favour, I'd have been stuck without you! Please treat yourself to something nice'

missnevermind · 18/07/2016 15:27

I wouldn't expect to be paid. Money for lunch and soft play maybe.
But would do it for a nice lunch out with op child free at a later date.

mumgointhroughtorture · 18/07/2016 15:35

I would feel insulted if someone gave me £100 for looking after their child . I have had my little Cousin's all day a number of times and usually it costs me !! If shes struggling maybe she would feel like you are taking pity. Give her £20 for "costs" and maybe some nice flowers and some vouchers maybe to treat herself ... I would be able to take vouchers easier than money personally . Maybe ask her she might have a rate in mind.

Joolsy · 18/07/2016 15:36

I've looked after friends' kids before and vice versa. We have never paid each other anything, and wouldn't expect it. It's a friend for goodness sake! I would just buy them a little something, and cover any expenses eg. entry to softplay etc

familyfarm · 18/07/2016 15:39

I'd give £7.50 an hour, £10 if you can afford it.

WellTidy · 18/07/2016 15:51

Where are you OP? Would your friend be bringing her own DC? There is such a broad spectrum of rates on here that I think I'd ask whether she had a rate in mind. You clearly expect to pay her, so make that clear, but maybe leave the rate to her to decide.

Oh £130 for 7:30 to 5:30 for your DD to look after DC works out at £13 gross per hour. That is a pretty decent nannying rate.

I agree that you need to discuss it at the outset, especially if you think that she may be willing to look after your DD again in the future. You would both knew where you stood if you were to ask again.

cornishglos · 18/07/2016 15:55

I pay my childminder £4.50 an hour.

KoalaDownUnder · 18/07/2016 16:01

This is tricky.

I refuse to take payment from friends for looking after their children. I can't put my finger on exactly why (it's complicated), but I just can't.

I would be mortified if they tried to pay me $100!

So I'd suggest chucking a voucher in a thank you card? Maybe 20 or 30 quid to somewhere you know she likes?

NeedsAsockamnesty · 18/07/2016 16:01

And yes I would also feel ashamed if I was doing a favour for a friend and she paid me more than a childminder would cost

The entire point of friends helping each other out is that it's cheaper than a paid professional

AdultingIsNotWhatIExpected · 18/07/2016 17:13

oh yes it totally depends on how it was phrased

if the friend offered to "help out" they might not want to be paid, I wouldn't, even if skint, because helping a friend means I can ask them for free childcare in the future since we're doing each other favours. If they paid me I wouldn't be able to ask for a favour in return IYKWIM

Katedotness1963 · 18/07/2016 17:20

£100 for a day? I'd feel bad taking that from a friend for a weeks babysitting! In fact last summer we looked after DS friend for 10 days when his parents were away for work and I felt bad taking $100.

Damselindestress · 18/07/2016 17:30

Social interactions are such a minefield! I can't believe some people would be miffed at being offered £100! If I was struggling and someone offered me a one off babysitting job I'd be delighted at the extra income. The friend is providing a service, it's not like OP is just offering her money out of pity, which would be awkward.

KissMyArse · 18/07/2016 17:36

Does she hold a childcare certificate?
Does she have professional references?
Does she hold a First Aid certificate?
Has she been trained in Basic Life Support?
Has she been CRB checked?
Does she have professional insurance cover?
Will she be paying tax on the money?
Will she be paying NI on the money?

If the answer to all the above is "no then £7.00 an hour (or £7.50 if you're feeling generous) is fine.

onecurrantbun1 · 18/07/2016 17:39

I'd love a bunch of flowers, arrangement for a meal out / takeaway together and a heartfelt thank you.

£100 would be an embarrassing amount for me to accept from a friend. I would truly be mortified.

By paying "going rate".or.perhaps even more, it puts rather a pressure on her, too. Paid professionals would have training and experience, for a one off I'd be happy for a friend to muddle through with Cadbury bribes and lots of C Beebies (and would do the same if minding a friend's kid). That does not warrant £10 ph imho.

Vixxfacee · 18/07/2016 17:44

If I looked after a friends child as a 1 off it would be as a favour and I wouldn't take any money. I would be embarrassed if I was offered £100 and wouldn't take it.

BackforGood · 18/07/2016 18:06

This is so much going to depend on your own financial circumstances.

If I were looking after a friend's dc, as a one off, then I wouldn't take anything from them, so, by default, I wouldn't expect to pay a friend who was helping me out, as a favour.

However, you say you would like to, so then things like minimum wage don't come into it.
If you were taking a dc to a CM, then it would be around £4 per hour around here. If friend has offered to just do it, then any donation you make will be seen as generous.
Of course if you are loaded, then you can pay top whack, but if you are on a budget, the amount you give will depend on your budget.

Princesspinkgirl · 18/07/2016 18:08

For a day id pay £50

Bettybooop25 · 18/07/2016 19:29

£100?!!!

I'd give £50

Sonders · 18/07/2016 19:53

I would have gone with £10ph but I agree with PP that I'd be mortified if a friend handed me £100. Maybe send a message saying "thanks again for looking after the kids - I want to leave you some money to cover your trouble - how does £7/8/9ph sound?"

CarbyBarbie · 18/07/2016 20:05

I'd laugh if my friend offerd me anything if your friends you do each other favours, well me and my friends do.

I'll do everyones babysittng though if its £50+ Grin

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