To not want to go holiday in the south west?

[Littlefluffyclouds81]

Mostly because I live in the south west, so it wouldn't seem much like a holiday.

Me and bf have been talking about going on holiday. To begin with, he suggested going to Devon or Cornwall for a week. I wasn't wild about the idea, but thought if we could find a cheap week somewhere it could be fun. So I had a bit of a Google, and was horrified to see that it was going to cost £1k+, even to stay in a caravan park type place. So I suggested maybe a week in France, as for less money we could get a ferry and a nice place with a pool on airbnb, and maybe the weather would actually be nice (it has pissed down with rain fairly consistently in the SW for the last few years).

So that was the plan, but we didn't book it as we've been waiting to find out when we could definitely go because of other commitments. That's now sorted, but he's decided he doesn't want to go to France because of the risk of terror attacks (he lives in London!). So it was back to the drawing board, and I suggested places in Spain and Croatia that were coming in at about £500 each (me and my dd, him and his dd), including flights, so a total of £1k.

But no, after me wasting fuck knows how many hours looking at places abroad, he's said he wants to go to Devon, or Cornwall. The places he's looking at in Devon are about 45 mins away from where I lived for 12 years. My mum had a holiday house in Cornwall for years until last year, and I'd often go down there with the DC if we had nothing else to do, but it never really felt like a holiday.

He says going to Devon would be 'perfect'. I'm imagining forking out £500 to go up the road, and probably forking out loads of money to do inside stuff because it's too rainy for the beach. There wouldn't be a pool, which is instant free entertainment for two six year olds.

We seem to have diametrically opposed ideas of what constitutes a holiday, but am I being a princess? Fully prepared to be told I am. Not sure what the compromise here would be.

I would tell him -
These are the places that are nice.....
I would avoid these places, but dunno maybe you will like them.

After years of living in the area, and going to various places there. Well I say going various places, not on BH weekend because of the tourists!! Dc's and I have decided either on Croatia or Central London. I will decide on Friday when I book.

Had a quick ganders at the Isles of Scilly but can't find anything available, it's probably a bit late to book something there.

Go to Wales. Cheaper, less crowded, and the road signs are in foreign. Pack fleeces and waterproofs.

Why should you have to spend your holiday paying through the nose to stay somewhere a short drive away!?

Please don't agree to this. It's too early in your relationship-you should both be trying to find a compromise.

I think if you want to go to the Scillies you have to book the best part of a year in advance and it is hellishly expensive for everything - getting there and food/accomodation once there - the perils of high demand and remoteness.

Looks absolutely beautiful though and a lovely way of life - I'd love to go and may get a chance as my diving club does go there every few years or so.

Wales is also lovely though.

*Depends what you want from a holiday I suppose.

We live in Cornwall and often holiday in other bits of Cornwall. Plenty of folk in our village do too.*

We love Cornwall (going for a week again next month), but this insular attitude must be a contributing factor as to why it is so economically deprived.

We have friends who live there who are amazed that they've met young and not-so-young people who have literally never left the county or gone to London (or Bristol) once, didn't like it and never went back.

I don't think the issue is going to holiday in the SW at all, it's that you simply don't want to. We live in Somerset and almost always holiday in Devon/Dorset/Cornwall, the proximity is a huge bonus for us! It always feels like a holiday.

But it's not what you want to do (and on the August bank holiday, you'd be mad to go anywhere SW) and he's not listening to you.

What about the Channel Islands? Cheaper than the Scilly Isles and you're not as dependent on good weather. - if it rains in the Scillies goodness knows what you'd do.

I've been on holiday an hour away from home many many times. I live in south wales, don't need to travel far to find amazing beaches etc and its certainly a holiday in my book. That said, if you want sun and a pool you're allowed to want that!

What about going to Ireland? Our August bank holiday is at the start of the month so places won't be as packed at the end of August. You could either fly there or get the ferry to Dublin or Waterford and stay in either city or tour around a bit. Tbf our weather is shitter than yours but our schools reopen that Monday and for some reason that almost always coincides with good weather. And Waterford is in the Southeast which tends to have our best weather and there are some lovely beaches there and Wexford. The odds of a terrorist attacking here are a bit lower than France. (Not something you are likely to get caught up in one way or the other.)

And we do have an ever so slightly different way of life than in England, so it will be a tiny change. And, like in Wales, our road signs are in a different language. The biggest drawback is probably that poor rate of Sterling, even compared to the Euro. But you'll have to deal with that anywhere other than the UK.

He really doesn't seem to be listening to you. You say you don't want to go there, it has no novelty for you, the weather is not guaranteed and the traffic over a bank holiday will be horrendous. He says he wants to go and thinks you can recommend somewhere, because you know it well.

I'd chalk this up as a learning experience, tell him you and DD are going to xxx and does he want to join you? Croatia is not unlike Cornwall, wild, beautiful, not expensive, great weather. Bliss.

It has to be the SW because that's what he wants to do.

Then you need to make a stand now before he starts down the road of expecting all his decisions to trump yours.

Go to Croatia. Do what YOU want as life is too short to pander to other people's demands. Send him photos from the infinity pool. Come back relaxed and tanned and amazed that he turned down such a sweet holiday.

*We love Cornwall (going for a week again next month), but this insular attitude must be a contributing factor as to why it is so economically deprived.

We have friends who live there who are amazed that they've met young and not-so-young people who have literally never left the county or gone to London (or Bristol) once, didn't like it and never went back.*

It could also be that Cornwall is a fantastic place to live, and why go anywhere else? I've been in Brussels for a decade now, but I always want to go home to the Devon/Cornwall borders for at least a week a year. I moved down in 1986 when we got married, (having been born there as my Dad was in the RN), and have never wanted to live anywhere else thereafter despite having lived in different places as a Forces kid, and spending a lot of time in Hampshire and working in London.

You may also want to consider that travel out of the county can be expensive, as is the costs of staying in hotels in London, and not everyone has a massive amount of disposable income to facilitate this. .

As for not liking somewhere and never going back, I have been to places I have never returned to because I didn't like them.

OP I had a fantastic week in a cottage in West Devon in June - sun shone very day; no mobile signal (so dh had a complete break from work), pub up the street, so no cooking, but then, I don't like blazing heat and I travel with dh when he has work trips, so I get to see different places anyway.

Would he like it if you said "it has to be France or Croatia as that's what you want to do".

Really selfish of him, he's not willing to compromise. A holiday is something to look forward to and it sounds like you're never going to be on the same page. Please do your own thing.

I have thought about Ireland. But it won't be sunny .

I just need to tell him straight don't I.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE the westcounty. That's why I've lived there my whole life. I haven't come across anywhere in the UK I'd rather be. But staying in the westcounty just isn't a holiday, as far as I'm concerned.

Absolutely. If the only thing that will satisfy him is a holiday in Devon or Cornwall he can do it without you. Obviously a holiday together would be nice but not at the expense of being a doormat.

It seems like you both have different ideas of a good holiday. I generally really dislike sun holidays, not so much a holiday in a place that is sunny, but staying in a villa or resort in the sun and hanging out by a pool all day, isn't my idea of fun. And the type of holiday I'd enjoy in the sun, like sight seeing and cocktail drinking around somewhere like Barcelona, would be crap with little kids. He obviously feels quite similar whereas your problem obviously isn't that you don't want to go on holiday in your local area, but that you particularly want to go somewhere sunny.

Oh goodness I think you just need ot tell him straight - you really feel you need somewhere with pretty much guarenteed sunshine for your holiday week so you and DD are going to book coratia, would he like to come?

Could you suggest as an additional thing a long weekend in the SW?

Its basically like you saying you want to holiday in London where he lives now - bet he wouldn't find that much of a holiday.

Honestly, just tell him that you and DD are going to X and it would be lovely if they joined you.

You want pretty much guaranteed sunshine, somewhere new to visit etc. You don't want to spend a lot of money to stay in the UK & be in places you've been in before (or much the same as) so don't!

How long have you been with him?

It could also be that Cornwall is a fantastic place to live, and why go anywhere else?

It's great if people love where they live. I love where I live. But that doesn't mean I never leave it.

And, of course, if you never leave it, you never know whether you'd like somewhere better. Or just experience things that you can't find at home.

Just veto it. You suggested France, Croatia, he said no. Now he's suggested SW. You can just say no, you don't have to come up with a load of justifications. Just say "sorry no, don't fancy it, where else do you like?"

If it's really the deal that he can say no to you but you don't feel you can say no to him, then you've got bigger problems than a holiday.

We've been together 8 months, extrahot