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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Petty War with MIL

110 replies

KaceyLacey · 17/07/2016 18:51

Slightly Lighthearted so don't crucify me

I like my MIL, she's an interesting & engaging woman but she's also quite controlling, I similarly have issues with control so without even trying we've ended up in a war of one upmanship, this has lasted for at least the last 10 years.

Examples

When DH & I first moved in together, she replaced a painting on the wall when I was at work because it was ugly. Instead of doing the reasonable thing, I went out & bought 2 matching ugly paintings & gave one to her as a gift in front of everyone. With a very painful smile she hung it in her bathroom where to this day it still stands.

When we decided that DH would be a stay at home Dad, she was very upset and stopped taking DCs out, instead she took out DNieces/Nephews & posted the pics all over FB tagging everyone. So of course my solution was to convince my own parents to take out the DCs far more then they usually did, post the pics on FB, tag everyone & then write how brilliant it was that DCs now had more time to spend with their favourite grandparents. She quickly stopped excluding them.

We do this with everything. If she goes on a nice holiday, I have to do something even better. If I buy something then she has to top that.

Right before Christmas, I signed up to a gym membership as it was bloody Christmas and it's just what you do, I never actually planned to properly use it, she then went out & got her own gym membership, so now we're in a game of chicken to see who quits first. I hate the gym I want to quit, I'm not even that unhealthy, but my pride won't let me.

I know that I'm a petty person, you don't need to scream it at me. Does anyone have any ideas on how to quit this gym madness without losing face, I can't even pretend to go as we both log in on Facebook to show our damn location.

OP posts:

99percentchocolate · 17/07/2016 20:51

DP and I roaring at this op! You really need to start learning Krav Maga next.

FixItUpChappie · 17/07/2016 20:53

I hardly think the OP is "vile" FFS Pride is not exactly a special affliction - I find OPs honesty refreshing.

Sounds a bit tiresome but I get it OP and can behave similarly in truth. This particular ruse is too much effort though....perhaps switch to a 30 shred and say your dropping the gym to save money for a special holiday or some such

Boiledfart · 17/07/2016 20:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StrangeLookingParasite · 17/07/2016 20:56

I would just constantly comment on her mannish arms and sturdy calves and that the extra testosterone she's producing will promote a healthy beard, all in the hope she quits first.

Ragwort · 17/07/2016 21:00

You both sound vile, I don't know how you have the energy.

Are you serious? I just don't understand how other mumsnetters find this remotely amusing or 'refreshingly honest' .

I must live in a different universe to most of you, do grown adults really find this in any way interesting or reasonable behaviour? Haven't you got anything better do with your time or life?

WellErrr · 17/07/2016 21:02

Crikey Boiled, come on Mumsnet to work out some anger tonight?

Jelliebabe1 · 17/07/2016 21:06

For god's sake, dont break a leg!!! She'll only break her neck to get one up! 😂😂😂

Boiledfart · 17/07/2016 21:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nuggy2013 · 17/07/2016 21:16

This is genius. Made me cry with laughter!!!

WellErrr · 17/07/2016 21:18

Oh well, I don't admire self-righteous sanctimony.

But we're all different.

Tinofsardines · 17/07/2016 21:21

Start posting your stat and lots of 'So proud of myself that im amost at goal weight' followed by 'only 1lb to go til goal!! Go me!!!!'

Stage some before (lots of pop before hand and pushing that gut out, messy hair, gurn a bit, too-small leggin with horrendous camel toe ect) then an amazing posed 'after' pics where you haven't eaten for the day, fab hair an make up and pose the fek out of it!!

Then you announce how well youve done to hit 'goal weight' and how fab you feel!! Then tadaaaaa no more checking in at the gym!!

ParisGellar · 17/07/2016 21:24

Best. OP. Ever.

toadgirl · 17/07/2016 21:25

Hilarious thread [grin}

Well, it looks like you've won the first two rounds you mention, so I'd hate you to lose the gym thing now. You've done so well so far!

Sallystyle · 17/07/2016 21:28

Is it childish and a bit pathetic? Well yes, but it's also really bloody funny and gave me a good laugh

For the most part it seems like you are both having fun with it.

AndYourBirdCanSing · 17/07/2016 21:29

Well I think it's funny. I needed a laugh.

Thanks OP

YorkieDorkie · 17/07/2016 21:30

It's too early to call classics isn't it

PavlovianLunge · 17/07/2016 21:30

You both sound vile, I don't know how you have the energy.

And how do you suppose your post makes you sound?

Sallystyle · 17/07/2016 21:30

Right before Christmas, I signed up to a gym membership as it was bloody Christmas and it's just what you do, I never actually planned to properly use it

And this is so true

Ememem84 · 17/07/2016 21:33

My mil does this.

I'm meant to be "impressed" when she "makes" Dh do something with her. Like last time she was here she "made" him take her to a local fete. It's something me, Dh and friends have been to for the last God knows how many years. But not last year. Oh no. Mil had to go with him. In the day. When it was god awful boring. And she asked whether I was "impressed" that he'd gone with her. I said no. Because we go all the time and the evenings way more fun. Fairground rides, yards of ale, candy floss, live music etc. So I hadn't missed out (I'd been at work that day)

2rebecca · 17/07/2016 21:38

Get a job, get several hobbies you actually enjoy, move away, leave your husband to chat to her so you have no idea what she's up to.
I find it bizarre. I really don't care what my MIL is up to. If she had an allotment like me it might be fun as we could swap seeds and have a biggest marrow competition or something but I'm maybe too self absorbed to care that much about the minutiae of her life as I have enough going on in mine.
I do like my MIL, I'd care if she was ill or something but just don't see her as someone I have to compete with.
I think it's more sad than funny. Get a real hobby.

Msqueen33 · 17/07/2016 21:38

This is hilarious. Tell her via Facebook you're taking up cross fit and that gym classes are too full.

Needmorewine · 17/07/2016 21:40

I love this

Please keep updating !!

ChicagoBull · 17/07/2016 21:41

Oh that's hilarious

Original poster

KaceyLacey · 17/07/2016 21:43

I was expecting a couple of names, vile's pretty harsh though.

I've lost a lot of rounds, I just don't like to bring them up

I like the goal weight idea, it gives me a set time before I can officially quit and really make it seem like I'm loving the gym and can't bear to give it up & if she continues on, I'll act like the whole point of the gym was to reach that goal weight & that I hadn't even realised she was going as well 😂

OP posts:

Bogeyface · 17/07/2016 21:53

Or just stop going, because it doesnt actually matter.

I dont know which of you is more pathetic tbh, but I suppose as long as you are pissing each other off, the rest of us are safe.

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