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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Professional misconduct?

30 replies

nilbyname · 17/07/2016 08:13

There is a teacher that I know who I think has acted unprofessionally.

Another parent made a formal complaint about another teacher lets call him mr Jones. Mr Jones is friends with the teacher I know, let's call him mr smith.

Mr smith was with his kids at and out of school activity with some other parents, and they got chatting/passing the time while watching their kids.

Mr smith tells a couple of parents about this formal complaint letter on mr Jones and how he thinks the parent who made the complaint is a pain and how this parent is in the wrong.

This has come to my attention as one of the parents has asked me what they should do! The were shocked that mr Jones has broken confidentiality and basically gossiped about it!

So MN jury, what would you advise the parent who heard it first hand to do?

I asked DH and he thinks mr Jones would get in all sorts of trouble, a warning? Sacked?

For context this is not the 1st time Jr. Jones has gossiped or been indiscreet.

OP posts:
DeathStare · 17/07/2016 08:17

I thought Mr. Smith was the gossip? I'm not following this

GoblinLittleOwl · 17/07/2016 08:18

I would advise you to do nothing and leave the parent involved to make up her own mind; it is nothing whatsoever to do with you, and you would be foolish to spread this gossip further, particularly on social media.

Ginmakesitallok · 17/07/2016 08:19

Mr Jones can talk to anyone he wants about the complaint made against him.

wineoclockthanks · 17/07/2016 08:20

I'm also confused as to who is who.

I would keep my gossipy nose out of it and let the parent involved decide what they want to do.

AddToBasket · 17/07/2016 08:22

You are part of the problem (not really but you are gossiping).

If the parent involved wants to complain then the school will decide if it is misconduct. The parents won't get to decide that themselves.

OnionKnight · 17/07/2016 08:22

Beak out, it's nothing to do with you.

noeyedeer · 17/07/2016 08:22

So Parent A makes a complaint about Mr Jones.
Mr Smith talks to Parents B, C&D and mentions a complaint about another teacher.
And you want to know if Mr Jones, who has said nothing, to parents B, C&D is unprofessional because you heard Mr Smith gossiped? And all this second/third hand?

It's not only Mr Jones who would know about said letter. If anything Mr Smith should've shown better judgement.

Stay well clear.

longdiling · 17/07/2016 08:22

Mr Smith is the gossip here surely?

tofutti · 17/07/2016 08:27

So you think Mr Jones is the gossip even though Mr Smith blabbed to other parents? Confused

TheCrumpettyTree · 17/07/2016 08:28

Mr smith shouldnt have gossiped, he is the one being unprofessional.

Original poster
nilbyname · 17/07/2016 08:30

Sorry- my post was unclear.

Mr smith is the gossip.

It's not about teachers and schools I have tried to anonymise my post.

I have done nothing. I wouldn't say anything to the employer as it wasn't said to me directly!

My beak is out. But the parent/friend asked for advice. I'm so far told them it's a judgement call for them and no more.

OP posts:
katemiddletonsnudeheels · 17/07/2016 08:31

That's not necessarily the case Gin

I had a false allegation made against me and it was stipulated I could not speak to anyone about it, which added another layer of stress to the whole incident, but it does depend on what the teacher has been told.

It certainly isn't hugely professional behaviour but I would be inclined to leave this one, merely out of perhaps misplaced pity for Mr Jones ...

Original poster
nilbyname · 17/07/2016 08:32

AFAIK Mr JOnes is unaware that the complaint has gone outside the workplace!

OP posts:
JudyCoolibar · 17/07/2016 08:49

What duty of confidentiality does Mr Smith have?

purpleapple1234 · 17/07/2016 08:50

If this is about teaching, I would say that it depends on the nature of the parental complaint We have many complaints from kids and parents. Which can be extremely trivial, made up, out of context, nasty, bullying and occasionally (and these sadly are in the minority) valid. And by valid, I mean that there has been professional misjudgement/wrong doing. It is perfectly natural for teachers to discuss parental complaints with their colleagues as part of letting of steam (you'd go bonkers otherwise). However, if it is a truly serious complaint in which Mr Jones is being investigated then he may have been in the wrong to discuss it with a colleague. But Mr Smith is definitely at fault for discussing it with a parent out of school and calling the first parent a pain. I'd advise the second parent wondering what to do to keep out of it, basically because I'd hate to be the head of year/department or head teacher who has to deal with this he-said-she-said scenario - it's bad enough dealing with the kids when they come out with that. Also maybe she doesn't like the idea that teachers talk about parents - but I am afraid that will never change. If you make a complaint about something expect to be gossiped about. I am sure that they do that in Sainsbury's and upwards - even if they are not supposed to. It is human nature after all. Actually maybe if parental complaints were made public, then the daft or nasty nature of complaints may decrease (just an idea)

purpleapple1234 · 17/07/2016 08:55

*sadly should mean happily (!)

PansOnFire · 17/07/2016 08:56

So parents engaged in a conversation with Mr Smith and now they want to report him for professional misconduct? FFS, unless Mr Smith was given this information confidentially (ie. he is Mr Jones' manager or something) I can't see that he has done anything wrong. Talk about looking for a drama.

Original poster
nilbyname · 17/07/2016 09:04

I'm
Not looking for a drama. Mr smith gossiped with Karen's and divulged information about another colleague who I am pretty certain would hate for others to know what's going on.

It's horrible. It's embarrassing and I am shocked that mr smith would betray his colleagues confidence like that!

OP posts:
trafalgargal · 17/07/2016 09:10

The whole school seems to thrive on gossip .....a teacher gossips about a colleagues issues to another parent, the other parent gossips to the OP and she takes it to MN.

Parents make complaints all the time most are without substance . If this was a serious issue then the teacher concerned would be suspended whilst it was investigated If it's more parent is complaining because teacher unfairly gave their innocent little snowflake detention for been a rule breaking git and their little snowflake is naturally innocent because they told Mumy and Daddy they are and snowflake would never lie then they wouldn't. Some parents are a right royal pain and often it's the worst behaved kids who have these kind of parents. I remember one kid (whose parents were quite awful the Dad used to knock to son about) the parents told the school completely straight faced that the teachers at their sons primary school had all hated him for no reason .....and now he'd gone to secondary school the same thing was happening . This was the child who had bunked off from PE and then sneaked into the showers and put all his classmates clothes under a running shower and had set fire to a wheelie bin as well as regular refusing to stop talking in class, walking out mid lesson when told to stop talking and get on etc etc. But according to the parents their son was an angel and they'd complain again.

Some parents will drive teachers to the point they might comment. They shouldn't do it but they are human.

I'd stop gossiping , it really isn't any of your business and someone needs to be the first not to perpetuate the gossip spreading.

ellesbellesxxx · 17/07/2016 09:13

For all you know, Mr Smith could be the school's union rep so he could know because he is helping.
I would advise your friend to do nothing... The less she does, the less people who know.

Original poster
nilbyname · 17/07/2016 09:28

pans you have it upside down

elles how s talking about a colleague without their permission about a formal complaint helping?

trafalgarar I want it to stop. I've tried to keep this anonymous, I was looking for advice. I haven't spoken to anyone about it and advised the person who brought to me to stay away.

I totLly accept that the complaint may well be spurious and not serious, but it shouldn't have left the workplace.

Ah well, I have asked for the thread to go as I think it's really irked everyone and there seems to be the undertone that I am spreading it farther.

OP posts:
DoreenLethal · 17/07/2016 09:30

I would advise the person who was told this to report it to the head of the school and let them deal with it.

Mouikey · 17/07/2016 10:39

Doesn't really matter who has gossiped and who hasn't - all comes down to what the teachers were told when the disciplinary process started. If they were told to not discuss and have, that's a problem, if they weren't then not doing wrong (although ethically you could say it would be better not to).

BoneyBackJefferson · 17/07/2016 10:47

nilby

You and your friend have no way of knowing if this complaint even exists.

It could well be that Mr Smith is making this up.

Footle · 17/07/2016 10:51

I blame that Karen.

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