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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not give my bedroom to visiting relatives?

64 replies

canary1 · 16/07/2016 23:39

I am having brother and his wife to stay for a few days. We have our three month old getting up for feeds at night, and my husband and I share this ( lucky me, I know). We have things set up at home with one room which one of us sleeps in with DS, microwave for warming his milk etc. Then other room for whichever one of us is not looking after him, which is on another floor so quieter. We also have smaller room empty, with double bed, which I thought would be fine for brother plus his wife. But he has suggested to me that they would prefer the bigger, quieter room- though he knows the sleeping arrangements, that we are using this room. AIBU to not give them the room? I could just take my clothes etc out and give it to them for the few days? Perhaps I ABU to want to keep our arrangements as they are, and give them smaller room? Btw the smaller room is still a reasonable size, far from being a box room, but does not have am ensuite unlike the two rooms we are using at the moment. Grateful for opinions..,

OP posts:
NickiFury · 16/07/2016 23:41

I absolutely would not with a tiny baby as you describe and I would refuse point blank of anyone in this situation offered to do it for me.

honeysucklejasmine · 16/07/2016 23:41

He'd "prefer" it would he? Maybe he might prefer a fucking hotel!

Assuming you have a family bathroom for their use, they can get tae fuck!

Mouikey · 16/07/2016 23:42

The smaller room is a guest room, they are guests - seems to work perfectly to me! Is it your brother who has asked you to give up your room or your DP suggestion? In any event no guest should dictate where they sleep (unless paying of course!).

Dairybanrion · 16/07/2016 23:43

Eh?
They can feck off. He'd 'prefer' your room. The cheek!

justdontevenfuckingstart · 16/07/2016 23:43

Could dh possibly be looking at the room arrangements more long term possibly? As in you and him? and this being a way to change things?

donajimena · 16/07/2016 23:43

No. Keep your room. If its far from a box room - great. Even if it was.. tough.
I wouldn't want anyones main bedroom anyway.

Wombat87 · 16/07/2016 23:44

Do people really ever have guests who suggest they could dictate where their get to lay their heads? In our house it's a case of 'you sleep where you fall or where we say you can'. And they are always grateful for what they get!!

I don't think you ABU, unless they are offering to do night feeds for you!

EdmundCleverClogs · 16/07/2016 23:44

Sounds like the sleeping you've space offered is fine. It has a double bed, what else does his lordship want? Tell your brother to get a grip or get a hotel room. 'He would prefere the bigger room', how bloody old is he Hmm.

justdontevenfuckingstart · 16/07/2016 23:44

Oh sorry I read that as dh suggesting not brother. Yep brother is a twat.

Lilacpink40 · 16/07/2016 23:46

Just say ' sorry it's not convenient' for any suggestions that don't suit you and your family.

Let go of guilt and remember you are a considerate person, not a doormat. Smile

Inertia · 16/07/2016 23:46

Is there another bathroom elsewhere in the house, or are they worried about walking through the bedrooms you're sleeping in to use the bathroom? If there's another bathroom they can use, then they get what they're given.

Shizzlestix · 16/07/2016 23:52

'He'd prefer' when you have a tiny baby?! He can get to fuck!

BluePitchFork · 16/07/2016 23:53

yanbu
no one except me and dh (and ocassionally dc) sleep in my bed.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 16/07/2016 23:59

Why do you think, for even a second, that you should move out of your room? Really why?

You should be posting about what a loon your brother is and asking for how to deal with him.

Does he usually completely take the piss with you? Is this your normal?

pictish · 17/07/2016 00:03

I agree - who the hell makes a room request when they are guests in someone else's house, let alone for the master bedroom?
Aye that'll be right tae.

ISuggestYouGoBackThere · 17/07/2016 00:10

Well, I actually WOULD have offered the quieter ensuite room to guests for the sake of a couple of days. BUT that dbro has requested this rankles me tbh.

Do as you please.

Mycraneisfixed · 17/07/2016 00:20

Your brother is being very rude.

amy85 · 17/07/2016 00:25

I wouldn't move baby but I would have originally offered them the other room with the ensuite and then used the smaller room for whichever one of you isn't on baby nightshift

Obeliskherder · 17/07/2016 00:28

Offer him the choice of your room and the baby, or the guest room!

Very rude of your brother if the suggestion is his. But why is the spare room so noisy? Is that something you can address at all? Does it have decent curtains?

AdoraBell · 17/07/2016 00:29

pictish my MIL. said to DD2 recently "that will be our room when we stay" DD didn't know what to say but I just grinned at the the thought of 2 obese adults in a single bed Grin

OP YANBU, your brother is. Do not give up your rooms. You have a perfectly good room for guests.

coconutpie · 17/07/2016 00:30

He'd "prefer" your room? What a fucking twat!!! I can't believe he said that to you. I'd be telling him that no, you will not give up your sleeping arrangements for him and if he doesn't like it, tell him that he can pay for a fucking hotel room.

honeyrider · 17/07/2016 00:35

Your brother has a horrible sense of entitlement. He really has some cheek. Tell the twat if the spare room doesn't meet his requirements you can recommend a local hotel or B&B. Don't even think of entertaining the idea of moving out of the room.

canary1 · 18/07/2016 21:52

Many thanks for your pretty unanimous opinions. I'm going to bit the bullet and give them the perfectly adequate guest room, but I think he'll be surprised as a bit used to being in charge. But I would never want someone to give up their room, let alone when there is a guest room also... I hope I survive the visit! Thanks everyone xxx

OP posts:
Noctilucent · 18/07/2016 21:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 18/07/2016 21:55

But he has suggested to me that they would prefer the bigger, quieter room- though he knows the sleeping arrangements, that we are using this room.

Tell him you'd "prefer" the rollover jackpot numbers and see whether he'll oblige.

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