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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not give my bedroom to visiting relatives?

64 replies

canary1 · 16/07/2016 23:39

I am having brother and his wife to stay for a few days. We have our three month old getting up for feeds at night, and my husband and I share this ( lucky me, I know). We have things set up at home with one room which one of us sleeps in with DS, microwave for warming his milk etc. Then other room for whichever one of us is not looking after him, which is on another floor so quieter. We also have smaller room empty, with double bed, which I thought would be fine for brother plus his wife. But he has suggested to me that they would prefer the bigger, quieter room- though he knows the sleeping arrangements, that we are using this room. AIBU to not give them the room? I could just take my clothes etc out and give it to them for the few days? Perhaps I ABU to want to keep our arrangements as they are, and give them smaller room? Btw the smaller room is still a reasonable size, far from being a box room, but does not have am ensuite unlike the two rooms we are using at the moment. Grateful for opinions..,

OP posts:

karmapolice97 · 19/07/2016 07:36

only on mumsnet.

AbyssinianBanana · 19/07/2016 07:46

So you actually have two guest bedrooms, one with ensuite on a separate floor to where your bedroom is. And in your bedroom, you currently have the 3 month old, with the other partner sleeping in the larger guest room on another floor (so as not to be disturbed).

Your brother and wife are visiting and mentioned the two of them would prefer to stay in the guest room that's got the ensuite and is away from the 3 month old. So they've been to your house I take it and are worried they will be woken throughout the night by the baby? Which is also the reason you sleep on another floor to get rest?

Well that's one way to make them feel I welcomed and want to never stay at yours

AbyssinianBanana · 19/07/2016 07:46

Unwelcomed

mustbetimeforacreamtea · 19/07/2016 09:07

The way I read it, the master bedroom with ensuite is on the top floor and is currently used by whoever isn't on duty with the baby. Then the baby's room and the guest room are on the middle floor. Agree that DB shouldn't dictate where he sleeps but is it possible to put the baby on the top floor for the duration of the visit, the off duty parent sleep in the baby's room and DB have the guest room?

Makes the point that guests have the guest bedroom but also cuts down potential whinging about baby noise?

SouperSal · 19/07/2016 10:54

Why is the automatic assumption that the milk being microwaved is formula? I microwaved every one of DD's expressed milk bottles (which should be swirled and never shaken to remove hot spots), mainly because she preferred her milk hotter than body temperature.

dailymaillazyjournos · 19/07/2016 12:33

Yanbu. Stick to your guns. I'd prefer to sleep at my friend's house as the bedrooms at hers are bigger, nicer and quieter than at my place. Might tell her I'd prefer to sleep in one of her rooms. dB is a guest, he sleeps where you choose.

DowntonDiva · 19/07/2016 12:41

Your being very nice letting anyone come stay when you have a baby. We have the same arrangement. Our sanity takes priority!

Original poster

canary1 · 19/07/2016 19:06

Really appreciate your views which are mostly that the guest room is fine. The biggest room is the master bedroom - we don't have two guest suits Abyssinian- it's not a B&B! When baby is sleeping through we'll be in there. Obviously this is bigger than the guest room, I just didn't know if IWBU if I didn't swop for the visit. Now I have reflected with most of your replies in mind... I have never stayed at someone's house and taken their room, which I would assume generally is bigger than the guest room. On fact I would be v uncomfortable doing so and would refuse. The guest room will be done up nicely for them, it's just not the biggest bedroom in the house. I'm sure they won't be woken by baby, they just wanted the main bedroom! Thanks xxx

OP posts:

Janey50 · 19/07/2016 19:10

Entitled guests get my back right up.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 19/07/2016 19:59

Outrageous to expect you to give up your room IMO. And I think someone should tell him so in good plain English.

I have given up our room for guests, but only because one of them was 6 foot 8 and our bed is bigger. And they protested and said the smaller bed would be fine, but after I had gone to all the faff of changing the sheets I wasn't taking no for an answer.

chickenowner · 19/07/2016 20:08

You are allowed to decide who sleeps where in your own house!

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 19/07/2016 20:12

Your brother is a tit. Don't let him push you around when he visits. This is your castle. Make sure the fucker knows it if he tries to belittle sister you.

AbyssinianBanana · 19/07/2016 20:16

Ah ok. You made it sound like you had two vacant rooms in addition to the third master bedroom (where I assumed the baby slept). And they were arguing over getting the bigger of the 2 vacant rooms.

In that case, tell him that in his house he might vacate his master bedroom for his guests, but you don't in your house. And ask when you get to stay in their bedroom next

missm0use · 19/07/2016 21:55

YANBU! That's outrageous to ask that of you! They should be grateful that you offering to put them up at all! My DD is six months on Sat - if anyone had tried to kick me out my bedroom when she was 3 months old I would have probably have attempted to murder them!

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