AIBU to think 'cheers for leaving me up shit creek, society'?

[ahfuckHelpme]

I've lost my job and used this username to ask for extreme budgeting advice (which I got, nothing but love for MN for that :D )
I have no kids, was TTC (hence using this site) of course this has now stopped.
Myself and DH are under 25.
I have had job breaks in the last 2yrs, where I lost my job and had to find a new one. In total I've spent a few months unemployed in the last few years. I always do my best to find a job quickly but its not always easy.
Anyhow.
I tried to claim JSA, My initial claim was refused (for income based JSA) with no reason given. So I tried to claim the other type (Think its called contributions based) And was told I hadn't worked enough, fair enough. so I demanded an answer to why I couldn't claim JSA (income based) was told its because my partner earns over 16k a year, barely mind, but does. He's on 15.6k (Per year) after taxes and NI. he's paid 4 weekly and gets 1.2k per pay. however before deductions is on about 17k.
AIBU to think this is fucking shit? Our finances are so badly at breaking point we've had to apply for a debt relief order (referred to as mini bankruptcy) work is hard to come by. as of today there are 4 jobs within a 10 mile radius I can apply for and some of those have over 100 applicants(of course I've still applied but I'm prepared to be unemployed for a few months minimum) yet we can't even claim JSA for me.
PS. I'm also annoyed I was told to apply for income support, which I am not eligible for (not a carer/disabled/in education/no kids) but I applied for it anyway and today was told I'm not eligible for that either!
can't get housing benefit, still waiting to find out about council tax reduction but unlikely, can't get JSA, can't get income support. I'm sorting this the best I can (Advice isn't what I'm looking for as such but is definitely welcome!) I'm just ranting really.
In what world is it ok to leave people this badly up shit creek? I campaigned against lots of welfare 'reforms' (read: cuts) and will contnue to do so but even I didn't realize it would be this bad :(

ssd and helenadove. There is no need to be so sarcastic.

The OP said she didn't have a deposit to rent a flat which would typically be a lot more than £100 hence the suggestion to rent a room on SpareRoom wasn't a daft suggestion.
The OPs DH is on £17k and whilst they are clearly very strapped for cash at the moment they would be able to save enough for the deposit for a ROOM much more easily than having to save for a deposit and removal costs of moving flats completely. Even if they can't afford it immediately they could work towards it.

I think my suggestion is a whole lot better than telling her to try sex line work ffs -

Also, ssd I don't think you read my first post properly which you really should do if you are going to be so unpleasant about it. I didn't actually suggest the OP move flat just work away during the week.

Sorry...bit of a random practical suggestion but alongside dog walking consider cat sitting. There's a good market for it because cats are much, much happier staying in their own territory.

Find out how much local catteries charge and undercut by a pound or two. The owners supply all the food so you have no outgoings.

Mine comes twice a day for 30 mins each time to feed, clean out litter and provide a fuss. Charges £16 (though this is in South East).

Ive never heard of Spare Room.

And stuff your pearl clutching.

Back then i had a choice between workfare or the chatline., The chatline was the only place offering me PAID work so i could SIGN OFF.

Like i said earlier though its obvious some of the "know your place" posters on here would have preferred i had chosen workfare...........but oh wait then i would have been criticised for not taking the paid job........and round and round and round we go and round and round and round we go......................

Nothing wrong with chatlines at all. People make their choices (those lucky enough to have choices).

I do find these threads get polarised between oh woe is me, life is hard let us sit around crying and nod nothing to improve our situations as there is no route out of poverty in the UK so best just stay where you are and weep about it; and those of us (yes who do tend to be successful so you get the chicken and egg issue over this) who think yes it's tough, we've moved hundreds of miles for work (found work where transport and accommodation were provided, worked as cleaners and worked our way up) and that if you set your mind to ig you can find a way out of Wales of Cambridge or London where there are more jobs even if you do things like house sitting, live in cleaner, the Guardian schemes for properties someone mentioned above and I've mentioned to my children in the past as a way to be paid to stay somewhere. My son works with a colleague (from abroad of course....) who did jobs around a church and eventually the vicar offered him a room to sleep in (this is within the M25). You are the master of your own fate and have huge power - if more women could think of themselves as these strong powerful creatures with their whole lives and worlds before them - you are wonderful and can do it all - go forth and seize the day - they would feel happier and do better. So perhaps it all starts in our own heads.

To be fair I don't suppose where the OP lives there is a great abundance of people requiring dog walking, cat sitting, cleaning etc etc. Outside suburbia people seem to help each other out. Alien concept here! I've had to pay someone to do every single mortal thing I've ever needed that I couldn't do myself.

I still think it's sad that the OP thinks she has such limited options. The dh is working. They could move. Unless we don't know the entire story which is very probable.

Why didnt your son offer him a room to sleep Girl?

Yes the women who are homeless due to domestic violence should have seized the day a bit more instead of spending too much time worrying about being seized by the throat

www.theguardian.com/society/2016/jul/16/homelessness-london-survey-evolve

Everyone is "master of their own fate"? Pmsl.

Helena me a pearl clutcher? I'm not sure about that but I'm happy to say that I wholeheartedly dissaprove of the sex industry and would never be involved in it myself. That's not exactly a unusual standpoint.

I'd much rather investigate helpful suggestions such as renting a cheap room and working away from home during the week. Even a minimum wage job would cover the cost of the room, transport back to her flat for the weekends and leave her with extra money.

Who know if it an actual option for the OP but there was no harm in suggesting it.

But OP says she is under 25, not disabled, no children.

There are many, many instances where one cannot simply "be the master of one's own fate" (or mistress, even). I'm not exactly full of gumption myself, but at that age I'm sure I'd've come up with something to change things.

Everyone is "master of their own fate"? Pmsl

Helps if you have a very privileged background where your parents pay for the fanciest of schools etc.

Rhonda, I don't disagree with that, but pp implied 'everyone'

Principles are great............if you can afford them!

It's absolutely shit op

I really feel for your generation I do feel you have been fucked over

When I was early 20s (assuming that's what you are) in the early 00's I was on 16k. It was good money then cos things were cheaper esp rent. And jobs were easier to come by

I really hope things improve for you X

"HelenaDove Tue 19-Jul-16 14:39:03

Why didnt your son offer him a room to sleep Girl?"
The colleague had already got the room the vicar has provided.

People don't have to agree with the 50% of us who think you can make things happen in your life and you just need to get on with it. If they don't agree they can continue in poverty and without life chances and sadly that then ensures those of us in the positive 50% instead seize the chances. Nor am I saying everyone's situation can be improved but we do seem to divide into two kinds of people - those who take action and effect change and those who don't. You can pick your category and I can tell you which category makes you happier and helps you improve your life.

I don't doubt that people can make changes in their life. I've made changes in my life, taken difficult decisions, made sacrifices. But the assumption that anyone can move, all it takes is the desire to do it, is a very frustrating one. People have all sorts of reasons for needing or wanting to stay where they are and they're not necessarily due to being too wet and spineless to live somewhere else. Plus, even 'just' £100 to find a room somewhere is easily out of reach if you're at the end of your rope financially.

ssd that's pretty unfair, as at least PokemonGo gave useful, practical advice. Many of us have moved hundreds of miles for work, with little or no money.

The OP doesn't have to move hundreds of miles. Depending on which bit of the Valleys she lives in, she can find plenty of work in either Cardiff, Newport or Swansea. Contrary to myth, it's actually fairly easy to commute either by road, rail or bus. Much is around 20 - 25 miles from Cardiff, a commute that would be regarded as easy and straightforward in many parts of the country. When I worked in central Cardiff, I had colleagues who travelled in from west of Bridgend, and up in Merthyr. DH used to do a reverse commute of living in Cardiff and working up in Valleys - very straightforward journey, and laughably easy compared to the daily commutes of many around/in London.

She could try live in work down Gower - it's the start of the summer holidays and it's awash with holiday caravan parks and pubs all needing staff. Just ring round them all to see if they have any vacancies.