AIBU to think 'cheers for leaving me up shit creek, society'?

[ahfuckHelpme]

I've lost my job and used this username to ask for extreme budgeting advice (which I got, nothing but love for MN for that :D )
I have no kids, was TTC (hence using this site) of course this has now stopped.
Myself and DH are under 25.
I have had job breaks in the last 2yrs, where I lost my job and had to find a new one. In total I've spent a few months unemployed in the last few years. I always do my best to find a job quickly but its not always easy.
Anyhow.
I tried to claim JSA, My initial claim was refused (for income based JSA) with no reason given. So I tried to claim the other type (Think its called contributions based) And was told I hadn't worked enough, fair enough. so I demanded an answer to why I couldn't claim JSA (income based) was told its because my partner earns over 16k a year, barely mind, but does. He's on 15.6k (Per year) after taxes and NI. he's paid 4 weekly and gets 1.2k per pay. however before deductions is on about 17k.
AIBU to think this is fucking shit? Our finances are so badly at breaking point we've had to apply for a debt relief order (referred to as mini bankruptcy) work is hard to come by. as of today there are 4 jobs within a 10 mile radius I can apply for and some of those have over 100 applicants(of course I've still applied but I'm prepared to be unemployed for a few months minimum) yet we can't even claim JSA for me.
PS. I'm also annoyed I was told to apply for income support, which I am not eligible for (not a carer/disabled/in education/no kids) but I applied for it anyway and today was told I'm not eligible for that either!
can't get housing benefit, still waiting to find out about council tax reduction but unlikely, can't get JSA, can't get income support. I'm sorting this the best I can (Advice isn't what I'm looking for as such but is definitely welcome!) I'm just ranting really.
In what world is it ok to leave people this badly up shit creek? I campaigned against lots of welfare 'reforms' (read: cuts) and will contnue to do so but even I didn't realize it would be this bad :(

I'm in agreement with the poster who said YANBU for a bit of frustrated ranting at society but YABU for not making changes. I think the bike suggestion is a good one - you shouldn't be spending money on public transport for journeys of up to 6 or 7 miles. Can you put the word out to family and friends that you are keen to borrow one for a while? You also need to be calling, possibly 2 or 3 times a week at anywhere in your area with the potential for an entry level job to come up - cafes, bars, leisure centres, holiday sites, factories etc. Once employers understand that you are committed and consistent they might put more effort into thinking whether they could have something you could do, even on an ad hoc basis. If you need your phone but your husband doesn't, can you use his and cancel yours? I also think YABU for thinking that you are above babysitting because you aren't a teenager - evening babysitting is easy money and usually cash in hand and most parents would prefer a responsible adult to a school-kid. Ditto cleaning - harder work, but not difficult. A few notices on supermarket boards and shop windows and through doors (One A4 sheet chops into 8 nicely printed well designed flyers) so if there is posher housing (the type with 2 professional salaries to pay you) target them. Obvious things (already suggested) are to accept that if you want the situation to improve and where you live doesn't have much opportunity then you need to focus on saving the money to make a move possible, and based on the lack of success you have had so far that may well mean moving for a job that comes with accommodation. It sucks that you might have to be away from your husband for a while, but if you want a child some day it's an investment in your future. Fruit picking, holiday camp work, live in mothers help/au pair plus which involve (unqualified) babysitting and a bit of housework, are not paid at all well but you could save every penny. They are also not full time so you could keep going with the dog walking in your free time and generally people look for a minimum commitment of 6 months. I'm not from the UK and I'm amazed how much the willingness to move for work seems to be a cultural thing. The alternative is to invest heavily in your future and take on a student loan and go to university/FE if you have the ability to get into a course with a realistic prospect of a decent job at the end of it. Again, that means a long commitment of being away from your husband, unless his job is transferrable to a university town in which case your student loan could set up the move and you would save on living costs because you already know you can live cheaply together. Good luck for the coming year or two - it sounds as if they will be tough ones, but hopefully you will be able to make changes to set yourself up for a more stable future.

FFS, "just move house" is getting to be like cancel the bloody cheque.

Do people not understand what it is like to have NO EXTRA MONEY. When the money you have coming in only just covers your expenses? When you have cut every luxury (like ya know....eating, being warm).

Moving house costs money. The OP doesn't have any money. I cannot understand why that is such a difficult concept to grasp.

It's not like not being able to afford a Mulberry handbag this month because you have already bought a Gucci one.

Moving house would cost upwards of £1000. Which the OP does not have. It's totally pointless saying she should have saved while she was working. She didn't and unless she has a time machine, it's not a realistic argument.

As for people slagging off the person who worked on a chatline? It's a job. Just like any other job. Self respect comes from being able to work and pay your way, not from the job you do. Someone has to do shit jobs to enable those of you who live in cloud cuckoo land to have a nice life. I mean cleaning up other people's crap is a fairly shitty job, but those of you with cleaners would be pretty pissed off if they all decided they should have more "self-respect".

The thing is the OP has no dcs. If you have dcs then you are more often than not quite stuck. You can't just up sticks when you are lugging a family along.

We have right across the country twice for work post children - know many families who have some who have even emigrated for work with children in tow. Obviously once they get to school age you really try to keep moves down or stay in commutable distance to the school but it's not always possible.

But... the OP is, yes, married, but her dh earns very little money, and they rent. They're not trapped paying a mortgage.I just can't see how moving isn't an option

My first place rent was £600 15 + years ago- it was studio flat and it was on the cheap side for the area.

Up front I needed £900 deposit and £600 rent - so hand to hand over £1500 before I could get keys. First thing I did after every move was try and save up 2500 - 3000 pounds so I had the money for the next move.

Even if OP is in an area with very cheap rents and they find a landlord not asking for much of a deposit - it still going to take money up front that the OP doesn't currently have - just for the flat.

If you don't have it and can't borrow it which in OP circumstances may be impossible rather than just unwise - you don't have it so it's just not an option.

The bike idea could work.

Have a relative who does care work in people's home usually those adverts say you have to have a car - I know I've looked at them - but they knew someone there so got taken on and they bike between locations. DH biked 6 miles back to his digs when he was living away for us - other longer journey he's taken bike on the train for part of journey - though that got bit easier when he got given second hand fold-able bike as a gift.

There are some costs involved with bikes if they are used a lot - plus you have to be able to ride one - I can't due to physical issue - and you have to have access to one. But it can make it affordable to commute further in some cases.

At least Op with no children you don't absolutely have to be back by a certain time - so long unreliable commutes are an option if you can keep costs down by walking or biking.

The problem with the so-called working classes is that they got used to a gravy train of subsidies - pay rent at 1/3 of the market rate (and don't even pay that some of the time), don't pay council tax, work 14 hours a week at something a machine could do and tax credits to top up

migrant we live in a council flat and we pay more than the market rent. We've lived here - in a lovely, quiet flat surrounded by greenery - for 14 years and the tens of thousands of pounds we've paid over the years has been ploughed back into building affordable homes locally and maintaining the current housing stock. We think that's a good deal for everyone and a decent, fair system. Social housing is a wonderful thing, and what's wrong with affordable, secure housing being available to everyone? And there'd be more of it, too, if it weren't for RTB.

It's not a 'subsidy', it's an investment. Social housing pays for itself and for new homes. It creates communities and offers security. All my neighbours work and pay rent. Don't make sweeping, uninformed generalisations.

I didn't suggest OP has to make a move into a rented flat in another area - agreed that does cost money.

My friend who owns a pub is often looking for live-in staff. The accommodation is free in return for being on the premises overnight. Likewise care work. Pil's nursing home has some live-in staff.

Ten years ago everything I said was true.
So rather than just admit you got you facts completely wrong you came up with this lane excuse for your spiteful remarks.

I really wanted to try and help the OP by making her realise that financially she is not in that dire a situation. As I have previously mentioned I believe she currently has a loot of debts and while she is unemployed she cannot reasonably be expected to pay all of the non-priority ones. What she needs to do is meet with a free debt counsellor, however the OP seems to have disappeared from this thread and I feel that this is a shame.

Social housing pays for itself and for new homes
Also when there are some tenants on HB living in social housing it means that the local authority saves a fortune on paying the benefit as it doesn't have to pay private landlords a hugely inflated sum of rent.

I don't think the OP is interested in hearing all the advice given here, and hence she hasn't returned. There are plenty of great suggestions on here, but some people do prefer to moan about society than to help themselves.
In case anyone else is reading this in a similar situation and does want to help themselves, it is perfectly possible to move without paying agency fees etc. Avoid the rip off estate agents and go on Gumtree or spareroom. Pack a suitcase and get a flat share somewhere where there is lots of casual work, without agents fees. Save up for something better. I moved from the North East to the South in a similar way, and lived in a shitty annexe from Gumtree until I got things sorted. No fees or deposits were required, and the place was fully furnished.

I know this report is a few years old but I doubt much has changed in the S Wales Valleys
www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/coalfield-areas-still-blighted-25-7289984

Quite a few of my family live in the Valleys and I have no doubt that finding jobs is really difficult. Transport is not cheap and I suspect that there are a lot of people chasing the jobs.

I don't think the OP is interested in hearing all the advice given here, and hence she hasn't returned.
I was beginning to think that too but never mind at least the advice is there now and the ideas are accessible to anyone who may or may not need them.

Ok, here is some actual practical advice. RENT a room in Newport on spareroom.Com. There is one for £65 pounds a week bills, to and wifi inc, with only £100 deposit then you will have 2400 plus jobs to choose from. I KNOW you won't be eligible for all of them but it would surely be worth a try.
Then go home for weekends.

Or look at doing the same in Cardiff.

The OP hasn't returned.

I know the mindset where you can't leave your home town. My mother's family all come from a (not very nice) Midlands town and have lived there probably since caveman times. 90% of them have never lived anywhere else and in fact would never dream of moving. Even travelling for work outside the town is seen as something rather exotic and a bit "out there". My mother going to live 50 miles away was forever seen as a cause for great sympathy. Pioneers they ain't.

I have lived and worked in many places. And I haven't had money behind me either. Certainly if I were OP's age I wouldn't want to be consigned to a life on benefits just so I could stay put. But, then again, I have never lived somewhere where I have deep roots and a mum, a gran, aunties, uncles, cousins etc etc.

Moving IS difficult, without a doubt. I had to do it - redundancy in the NE of England caused me to have to move far away from school friends, parents etc and start afresh totally alone. What got me through was the thought that a life on the dole would be much worse, and also the thought that so many people from all over the world do it every single day. If someone can move to London to work as a nanny from the Philippines and only get to go home to see her children once a year to make a better life for herself, then bloody right that I, a woman with no kids, can move 300 miles away without whinging.

Frankly, the benefits system has let some people get too wet - "I can't move away from my parents/friends/partner/get up early to commute/do shifts, therefore poor little me will just have to stay where I am and go on the dole." Obviously there are people who CAN'T move, e.g. people with kids in examination years, caring for sick relatives etc - but most of can, and would if the benefits system didn't exist.

I suspect the OP hasnt come back because a rather nasty person came on the thread yesterday.

eumigrant also made some totally idiotic comments about how Britain has turned into a shithole just because of things like chatlines.

So why are sex jobs referred to as the oldest profession then. It wasnt suddenly invented back in 2001 when i took that job.

It goes right back to when the Romans came over here with their slave girls .

City of Sin , London and its Vices by Catharine Arnold traces the history of these kinds of jobs.

Helena I love Catharine Arnold, especially that book! I also think that you've made some excellent points on this thread. I've done a similar job myself when the need arose - how lovely it must be for people like our 'friend' who have never known desperation to pontificate from her lofty heights to all those of us who have. I think some people have had an empathy bypass, I really do.

fiorentina

Thanks for mentioning FutureLearn. com, I've just signed up to learn Spanish!

Thanks Ophelia. Yep CA is great.

I also think there is a very sinister undercurrent to people who moan about working class ppl claiming tax credits. Then also moan if you do a certain job

Its almost as if they dont want working class ppl earning too much.

Those kinds of people are only happy if working class people are earning £50 odd pounds a week and moving around like chess pieces.

Id be interested to know how the OPs NI would get paid if shes doing bitsa jobs for a different employer every week with different intermittent hours.

I can imagine the op hasn't returned, as she is still banging her head against the wall after reading all the posts saying she should just move, after all, as PokemonGo said above, and very hadily provided a link, there are flats available where you only need £100 deposit...

except the op doesn't have £100 deposit....

why come back to a thread where you know you aren't being listened to?

unfortunately there is some good advice given here, mainly speaking to debt advisers, but I'm sure the op has given up on her thread and I sure don't blame her.

Exactly Its £100 she doesnt have

Just seen some very interesting tweets about a housing association who now wants a reference from a current or very recent landlord just so you can LOOK at a property with no guarantee you will be allowed to rent it off them.

And if you dont get offered the property the current landlord then knows you are looking to move and some may not like it.

And this is an HA. Moving is not easy And they cant go to any old digs. Pre 98 before gas safety checks came in ........yes. Not now though

Wales voted against all its extra EU investment so I don't have that much sympathy. The OP can warm herself with all the "control" we've taken back.

Anyway, I just don't understand the rent situ. I'm in Liverpool and you can rent a 1 bedroom for under 400 pounds. I'm also addicted to homes under the hammer and 70% of the homes rent for under 500. And the OP is in Wales, a poor depressed area and is somehow paying 700 pounds! Seems... Implausible.

A11 Ive watched some of the documentaries about housing on channel 4

A case that has stuck in my head is that of a young Romanian bloke from an earlier series.

He was trying to get housed and had applied . He had also secured a job at Mcdonalds .

He went in for a meeting with housing officers and was told he wasnt priority.

The result? He lost his job at Mcdonalds because he couldnt find anywhere he could have a wash. The shelters were full and he couldnt leave his shifts any earlier.

People keep saying that if ppl from other countries can come over here and do it why cant the British?

The reality is a lot of the homeless on our streets are from other countries.

Its not the wine and roses for them that some believe.

A11 Wales only voted with a similar split to the whole country (48/52), we didn't unanimously decide that we didn't fancy EU funding anymore :(

And yes, £700pm is a lot. My 3 bed house is £500pm

OP isn't paying £700 a month rent - that amount covers her bills as well

"our expenditure on rent, bills (water gas council tax) comes to just over £700"

Thought it sounded a lot!

A11TheSmallTh1ngs, does it say anywhere that the op voted to leave???

no!!

just because she is from Wales doesn't mean you know how she voted, does it? so you know where you can stick your "she can warm herself" comment.