To ask what's the stupidest thing you have done?

[notfornothing]

Yesterday i drove my car into our living room.
I'm so mad at myself for the sheer stupidity of what I've done, i was parking the car and pressed gas instead of brake.
Ny DH has been amazing and is rebuilding the outer wall as I type (I'm putting the LO down for a nap).
It took all day yesterday to get the living room back to some kind of normal, plumber fixed the leaking radiator pipes, me and DH put the inner wall back to where it was, still need to finish it though.

I was incredibly lucky though as no one was hurt (LO was inthe car with me, rear facing car seat) and the house being so "soft" meant that the car only got very minor damage (which no doubt will be very expensive to fix), but is ok to drive for now.
And the living room window didn't break!

Please tell me you have done something similarly stupid! Help me stop kicking myself.
Or alternatively tell me how bloody stupid it was... Either way

coughing I was devastated at the time and now think what a wally! It was in the couple of weeks before Ds was born and I seemed to go a bit emotional over nothing.

Had a tattoo done at 17, a silly skull face with a rose (rock n roll right?) then at 24, I had it covered, because I hated it, with a giant sun thing....20 years later it looks like a giant blurry blue spider on my arm....ghastly, can't afford to get it removed & for the last decade or more i wear tops with sleeves long enough to cover it....OP, at least your 'mistake' is fixable, mine I'm carrying for life!

Had fun dripping candle wax on to a tissue when I was 12. You know what happened next, the tissue went up in flames, I picked it up to get it to the sink, no chance. Burned a hole in the kitchen tiles.

Took a can of my sister's hairspray out of the bin (around the same age) to 'check' it was empty. Sprayed it full force into my eyeball from about three inches away.

Walked into my own washing line and almost strangled myself.

Reversed into a parked car in the office car park .... On my first day there.

Poured boiling water from a kettle over my hand instead of into the mug because I was looking at the telly.

Locked myself out on a balcony in a holiday resort while wearing just a robe. Had to roar at random holidaymakers by the pool to be let back into my room.

Loads of stuff but the three stupidest things I've done are:

1. Held a colander "UNDERNEATH to drain pasta and burnt my hand when the boiling water drained through it!

1. Thought I'd spice up our sex life by creating an ice cold effect during sex thinking it would be like that orgasm gel!! So I put Arnica Ice in my vagina just before intercourse. Needless to say, DP screamed his head off when the menthol hit his penis and it burnt and froze my vagina to shit and I had to sit in a bath and push water up there to rinse it. I ended up with a weeks worth of thrush too. So much for my exotic new sex cream 😂😂.

1. Got my friend to slam on breaks when driving whilst I wasn't wearing a seatbelt to prove that if you put your feet in a certain position you wouldn't go through a windscreen as the pressure will stop you so there is no need for a seatbelt.... Needless to say my head hit the windscreen and made a huge crack in the glass

Glad it's not just me

Did the touching car cigarette lighter touch thing, I now know what white hot is
Took my contact lenses out after chopping chill
Happily used a mandolin for slicing veg without the hand guard, A&E were very kind
Gave up taking malaria tablets in SE Asia because they made me feel sick
Drank too much wine and did some serious de cluttering.

I'm now a responsible middle aged dullard

hairymoose no.2 is fucking hilarious! Sorry! I bet it wasn't at the time

complete was it the tabs with monkeybrain in as an ingredient? They completely fucked with my head! I thought I was going crazy!

Got dumped, got pissed, went clubbing. Walked home (5 miles) at omg o'clock in the morning barefoot. Thank God for the taxi driver who saw me in a right state while he was on a job going the opposite way who dropped his fate off then turned round to try and find me. He picked me up, refused payment and saw me back to my parents house.

Biscuit it was Larium. Felt awful and showed some odd behaviour

Ducked whilst driving under a barrier above the car

I managed to lock myself outside the house and my little baby inside, by letting the catch down and door clicked shut without me realising.

More recently I was reversing out of Tesco. I meant to break but hit gas instead. At the same time my elbow slammed down on the horn. Everyone stared as I hurtled round in a huge circle, horn blasting out one long, loud din!

Mistook sugar for salt in a cafe. Sat and ate sugary chips so as not to lose face!

Turned on an electric water heater in an ancient flat I lived in in Greece and then forgot about it for about it for about 5 hours. It exploded in spectacular fashion and I got screamed at by all my neighbours and the firemen.

Locked myself out of the same flat while frying chicken after an enormous insect flew in the window. I didnt know the phone number of my boyfriend at the time or the address of where he was, so turned off the main power to the building. Cue, several angry neighbours coming down to see why they were in darkness while I stood in front of the switch guarding it and shouting "chicken!" at them while miming holding a frying. That was almost 10 years ago and my Greek is still shit.

Got totally pissed one night out when I was a student, and ended up going home with a random guy and his flatmates. He was actually a total gent, lucky for me.

Was very drunk one birthday and decided to "skate" Torville and Dean style across my hallway wooden floor. I slipped, fell and smacked my head into a panelled, wooden door. This split my forehead open to the bone and I had to go to A&E, pouring blood. I had 13 stitches, and a big lecture from the Dr who stitched me up. One of the nurses kept saying "she slipped on the floor and banged her head on the door", in my drunken state, I found this hilarious and the doc was not amused. I was really embarrassed when I sobered up and have a nice scar to remind me of my foolishness.

Yep- car cigarette lighter here too

Burst a tube of superglue all over-me and nephew.

Was sat watching xfactor and was trying to open a tube of superglue (lid was stuck on). Sat there, twisting it in my hand, and not paying an ounce of attention.

Suddenly, the tube exploded (a fine high pressure mist of heat-set superglue). Hit me from the forehead down to my chest, went in my eyes, nose, and throat.

Nosy nephew who was 9 at the time, was stood behind me, a tiny bit hit him, queue him screaming the place down, I'm trying to see to him and keeping my eyes open as thinking the glue was going to glue my eyes shut lol.

Que MIL driving me to hospital, anaesthetic in my eyes and an eye exam (they needed to make sure I hadn't scratched my corneas).

What had happened, was when it was twisting in my hand, the lid wasn't moving, but the tube was being twisted, and eventually the pressure built up to where it exploded. I don't know how my brain and hands were just not connected and worse, xfactor is crap.

So for anyone who want's to know, superglue tastes awful and if it's heatset stuff, it burns. Anaesthetic in your eyes stings like mad and makes the white of your eyeballs yellow and makes everything look yellow for a few hours.

Putting false lashes on once, a bit towards my tear duct hadn't stuck down properly so I thought I would apply some more glue directly to my eye. Cue glue covering my entire eyeball and me being genuinely fearful that I'd never see again.

Oh and taking far far too many illegal substances when I was younger and putting myself in some ridiculous situations.

Stupidest thing I ever did was quite recent - booking a holiday with lowcost holidays.com 😡😰

I volunteer at a rescue kennels. There was a small dog there who was known for being a bit of a sod, and who desperately needed the hair round his mouth trimming. I volunteered to help. Two days before DH and I were due to fly out on a much - anticipated break.

When we should have been arriving at the airport, I was being admitted to a ward on an antibiotic drip with my (grossly swollen, pussy) hand strung up in a frame. Well done, me. DH was very nice about it, really...

I once glued my eye shut when I was a teenager when I putting false nails on

Dumped my first love

When I was young I took the light bulb out my bedside lamp, though oh look there's some dust in there and proceeded to put my finger in the light socket to get the dust out. It was still plugged in and it really did hurt!

Aged 14 I put a glass bauble from the Christmas tree in my mouth to see if it would fit.

It didn't. It shattered and cut the inside of my mouth.

Age 21 went home late and very drunk one night. Couldn't get key in the door. Spotted kitchen window open in the basement, climbed in, broke some plates in the sink in the process, staggered upstairs, couldn't get into my own room so went to bed in my friend's empty room next door (student house) woken up next morning by the church clock outside chiming. Realised with horror I didn't live there any more - had moved out the previous weekend.Luckily no one was there!
Worse still I had to go straight to (pub job) in my clothes from night before. Got teased about my walk of shame ... if only they knew the real reason!

Forgot all about Labradors and their propensity to eat anything. Particularly my parent's old one. Left £600 in cash for rent lying in an envelope on the floor of my bedroom (all that was left was a shred of envelope saying Barclays and a half chewed £20 note).

Pulled a wardrobe on my head whilst cleaning - needing copious amount of stitches.

Fell asleep whilst holding silly putty in friend's parents' brand new car.

My sex life went through a stage of being one whole stupid mistake.

Took out my father's fencing whilst trying to see the cows in the dark in the car - the cows later sensed the weakness in the fence and vandalised the neighbouring farmer's silage bales and all the village flowers.

Drove my car into a beach and got it stuck. Drove my car into a thousand too deep puddles and got it stuck.

Oh God - so many stupid mistakes. OP yours did make me laugh - huge flowers and wine to you.