To ask what's the stupidest thing you have done?

[notfornothing]

Yesterday i drove my car into our living room.
I'm so mad at myself for the sheer stupidity of what I've done, i was parking the car and pressed gas instead of brake.
Ny DH has been amazing and is rebuilding the outer wall as I type (I'm putting the LO down for a nap).
It took all day yesterday to get the living room back to some kind of normal, plumber fixed the leaking radiator pipes, me and DH put the inner wall back to where it was, still need to finish it though.

I was incredibly lucky though as no one was hurt (LO was inthe car with me, rear facing car seat) and the house being so "soft" meant that the car only got very minor damage (which no doubt will be very expensive to fix), but is ok to drive for now.
And the living room window didn't break!

Please tell me you have done something similarly stupid! Help me stop kicking myself.
Or alternatively tell me how bloody stupid it was... Either way

All over my hand, not head!

Smoked crack

Got into a car with someone I'd seen drinking, although I didn't realise quie how much. He sped down the motorway, held the steering wheel between his knees, joint in one hand, beer in the other. Unsurprisingly we crashed. Noone was hurt but it was terrifying.

Oh and aged 15/16 some friends & I met some guys (late 20s/early 30s) on a night out & went back to their flat. They locked us in. That wasn't fun.

When I was 16 my boyfriend at the time thought it would be sexy to push me up against the glass patio doors and kiss me passionately like they do in films. Except that the clear glass patio doors were wide open and he just pushed me onto the concrete patio floor outside, where I smacked my head rather spectacularly and saw stars. I was fine but he almost cried because he thought he'd killed me. I have a hard head

I've managed to superglue my fingers together. More than once....

Tried to cure the hiccups of the baby I was breastfeeding by shouting 'boo'. It did not help one bit.

oldspeckledtam that has just made me laugh out loud and have a bit of a tear in my eye at the same time. Poor baby!

I have visions of doing exactly what you've done OP! Especially as our drive angles down towards the house!

I reversed into a friend's garden wall knocking it flat. I was house sitting and supposedly keeping their house safe!!

Probably loads that I've erased from memory but touching the bubbling hot sugar of a Creme Brulee and putting my (burning with bubbling hot sugar) finger straight into my mouth is one of them.

I had a huge blister on my finger and my gum
And to this day I have no bloody clue why I did it.

Started sleeping with my teacher as my gcse's tarted. Sure fine way to bugger your exams up.
And fell down the stairs because I was reading a book and eating a banana. I broke my ankle...

Rolled a joint thinking it was tobacco.

Cracked a pessary in half and took it aurally.

I have also ripped the door off my car when reversing.

I rang dh in a panic an he cheerily said 'don't worry, we'll drive it round to Bob's garage later.' Bless him.

The door was lying on the ground...

I touched the end of a cigarette lighter to see if it was hot too, I'm amazed the fact it was glowing red didn't give it away..... Its quite surprising how many people have done this!!
Eating an entire bowl of chocolate mousse laced with an 8th of cannabis, I was absolutely fucked for about 12 hours :-/

Got my (fat) fingers stuck in a box for atm receipts. Ripped my knuckles off pulling it out in front of a very bemused queue..

Was going on a day trip with the youth club and we were all in a rickety old mini bus, there was a wee fan on the ceiling of the bus and I decided to stick my finger in to see what would happen.....near lost the tip of my finger and everyone was covered in a nice coating of blood

Bought this house.
T-boned a parked car on a military base, driving my brand new car with no licence.
Drove the same car down the pebble-dashed wall of a garage, scratching it down it's full length, because I was trying to avoid a lavender bush.
Gave my brother my credit card details.
Exposed my knickers to a room full of industry colleagues, it was the first time I had met any of them.
Answered my door to the postman with a boob fully out.
Told somebody that their baby name was ridiculous because I thought she was talking about someone elses baby.
Washed a LIGHT SWITCH with a WET CLOTH because I thought the mains power was off. It wasn't. I'm actually a fairly intelligent person, believe it for not.
Smashed a friends very expensive glass vase that had survived being brought from Iran to the UK in a backpack. I destroyed it helping them move house 3 streets away.

Hope that makes you feel a bit better OP. I have had a LOT of car-related mishaps.

And there was me thinking I am the only one who burnt her finger off on a car ciggy lighter!

I reversed a shopping trolley into a tower of wine boxes in the offie wine merchants. I saw the bottles tumbling to the floor in slow motion but couldn't do anything to stop it. Red wine and shards of glass- it looked like some horrific accident had occurred.

Popped in to the neighbours whilst warming a shepherd's pie in the oven. Ten mins later realised I was locked out of the flat.

This will out me to anyone who knows the story already but back in my smoking days I stepped out onto my balcony for a cig wearing nothing but a dressing-gown, then promptly slammed the balcony door closed behind me, realising as I did so that I had now locked myself out on the balcony. I had a cigarette in one hand, a lighter in the other and nothing else - no phone, no keys, not even shoes.

Fortunately the balcony faced the road so when an unsuspecting pedestrian appeared after a few minutes I shouted down to him, explained, and got him to use his mobile to call my best friend, whose number, thankfully, I knew by heart, and who, also thankfully, had a set of keys to my place. When she came and rescued me she told me (after she'd stopped laughing) that picking up the phone to a strange man saying "Hello, you don't know me but I've got your friend easter here" was initially a bit alarming.

Smoking is bad for your health, kids. As is stupidity.

When I was a little girl my mum locked me in the entry. It was cold and I banged on the door. Banged so hard in fact that I smashed my fist and arm straight through the double glazing.

Didn't have a scratch on me but boy did I have a sore bottom after she smacked me.

Many years ago, I was sat in bumper to bumper traffic and put my foot on the gas instead of the break. Needless to say my car was a write-off

Opened a tube of super glue with my teeth and got a mouth and teeth full of super-glue. Swallowed half a tube too. Emergency dentist reception had them all laughing. 2 hours of scraping super glue off my teeth!

Reversed my car into a low wall in the parking lot at work. The wall's fine, my bumper isn't.

I drove into MIL's garden wall. And instead of stopping when I first hit it, continued and destroyed every single panel on one side of my car.

I also fell over on my wedding day (not even drunk; couldn't walk in my poncey Louboutins).

And I recently fell into a rose bush on our front garden after a few wines down the local pub. One of our cats was under the bush, I bent over to kitty-love it, lost my balance and fell face-first into it. I'm still itchy where the scabs are on my eyelids.

There are so many misadventures and stupid moments I sometimes wonder how I've survived this long.