Or is this PFB?

[Crunchymum]

Asked a friend if she wanted to do something this weekend (not anything that unusual, a day trip to an attraction) and her reply was 'just want to check with Dad in-case he wants to do it first as a family'

AIBU to think it's a little bit of an odd response?

It's a farm by the way... wanted to be obscure but it doesn't make much sense otherwise!!

Depends on the attraction I guess and the age of the child but there may be something there that she feels her husband may want to experience the child's first time doing?

I think it's reasonable if young children are involved.

Checking that there's nothing else planned is normal but checking that the dad doesn't want to see goats with the kid first is a bit precious

Nothing odd about that at all.

Yeah I guess you would check if your partner is busy if it's family time (her DP works weekends as does mine) so it's not a timing clash.

Almost 2yo

Very PFB. If mooching round a farm was such a Kodak moment for them as a family they'd have done it already, wouldn't they?

Dunno on the surface it could seem a bit pfb but at the same time maybe he feels he misses out on other things so family trips are important.

I'd be annoyed. She's basically saying that she'll only go with you if her husband doesn't fancy it.
She's rude.
Talk about making you feel second best!
Why didn't she say to you - 'That's somewhere DH might want to go too. Would you mind if he came along with us ?'

Actually, if she did say that I'd probably tell her to get on with it with her DH... Can't imagine anything worse than traipsing around a farm with a friend, her husband and their child!!! 😂

I'm not sure. I can sort of understand it.

My DH often missed a lot of the fun stuff when our children were little, and I know he sometimes felt a bit left out. If this was something we'd recently discussed, I might be a bit conscious of trying to keep something back for him to be part of. Even the first trip to throw pellets at goats is important if you feel you're missing out on 'family moments'.

Still, I probably wouldn't tell my friend that that was why I was delaying in making a decision about it. I'd just say I had to check the calendar.