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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To kiss DC on lips?

83 replies

OnesieTheQueensSelfie · 12/07/2016 22:01

Victoria Beckham has come under fire for kissing her daughter Harper (5) on the lips.

I remember kissing both my parents on the lips until I was about that age then grew a bit "nah, don't fancy that anymore" so didn't do it anymore. Parents just took my lead.

What do you think? Creepy and weird (as some on social media seem to think) or not?

OP posts:
MumOnACornishFarm · 13/07/2016 09:12

Not at all creepy or weird! I think there's something quite odd about someone who sees something wrong when a parent kisses their child on the lips. And pervert/lesbian is just plain wrong on many levels.

I'm with you OP; a child gets to decide if and when they don't want to kiss on the lips, forehead, cheek, whatever. I went through phases when I didn't want to, and I've seen kids refuse when they're upset or having a little strop, only to want a kiss again shortly afterwards.

FlemCandango · 13/07/2016 09:13

My 7yo dd kisses me on the lips, I would be happy with a kiss on the cheek but she is in charge.

My older children are more awkward sideways hugs and kiss on the hair both more like me in being less demonstrative than their open and tactile sister. People are different in how they express affection, there is not one correct way. That story about VB is a complete non event. It is depressing if people are really reacting so negatively.AngryAngry

UmbongoUnchained · 13/07/2016 09:15

My whole family are kissers, even as adults. My toddler gets less atm as she likes to wrap her arms around my neck and ram her tongue into my mouth... Which I draw the line at Grin

SteviebunsBottrittrundle · 13/07/2016 09:20

I can't really remember if I did this with my parents at 5yo. My DD is only 19mo and she kisses DH and I on the lips sometimes. I think it's really sweet and affectionate. I have no idea why anyone would think it's 'pervy' Hmm. I love seeing men kiss when they greet each other in France too, I just think it's a nice sign of affection and not sexual (depending on the men of course).

I don't know if she'll want to kiss us on the lips when she's 5, but I don't see anything wrong with it (unless you've got a cold sore or some other virus which could be spread by kissing, obviously).

SteviebunsBottrittrundle · 13/07/2016 09:22

Grin umbongo, yes I think I'd have to draw the line there too! I have to stop DD doing slobbery open mouth kisses sometimes. Not entirely pleasant, much as I love her.

Bigfam · 13/07/2016 09:33

I've never heard of cmv and am currently pregnant.
I kiss all four of my DC on the lips, every morning before school and before bed. Youngest dd is now emerging from the 'kisses involve wide slobbery mouth and a not of toungue' stage and puckers up her little lips so beautifully I can't help but kiss her (several times a day) Grin
Kissing my DC is natural, nothing weird about it at all Confused

Bigfam · 13/07/2016 09:34

*bit of tongue

TheAnswerIsYes · 13/07/2016 10:30

OP which do you work for, the Daily Mail or the Matthew Wright show?

Original poster
OnesieTheQueensSelfie · 13/07/2016 10:38

Haha, if I were to ever to go into media work it would have to be something like the Poke! Grin
Articles have much more truth in them!

OP posts:
ArmySal · 13/07/2016 10:40

I kiss mine on the lips.

Wouldn't if I had the cold sore virus though, my sister does and kisses her children, it annoys me.

Balletgirlmum · 13/07/2016 10:44

Dh showed 12 year old Ds this article & he responded by giving us a kiss. It's ridiculous.

Dd is 14. She's always been less tactile so with her it tends to be a kiss on the cheek.

And I've never had a cold sore in my life.

Mumble29 · 13/07/2016 10:48

Cant believe that people have took a sweet moment between mum and daughter and turned it into something pervy!
Fucking ridiculous.

grannytomine · 13/07/2016 10:48

WeDoNotSow, I got the herpes virus (cold sores) from an adult. It has caused me a lifetime of misery and I get really bad outbreaks. None of my children have ever had outbreaks, without blood tests I can't say they haven't got the virus but I did my best never to pass it one. I kissed my children on cheeks or top of the head, not a big deal to avoid the misery.

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 13/07/2016 10:49

I always kiss my son on the lips. There's noting weird in it, it's a peck not a snog (although he does sometimes try to bite Grin)

The other day he'd been eating toast and was all buttery so when he wanted a kiss I offered my cheek... I've never seen a toddler look so offended, and he promptly spun my face and planted one on my lips.

Original poster
OnesieTheQueensSelfie · 13/07/2016 10:50

YY Mumble. This with bells

OP posts:
grannytomine · 13/07/2016 10:58

TheWeeBabySeamus, how would you feel if he got a bad outbreak of cold sores?

Balletgirlmum · 13/07/2016 10:59

Are cold sores that common? I've only ever known a couple of people with them

ArmySal · 13/07/2016 11:02

You can only catch the cold sore virus when you're a child, I think it's up to around 5 years old.

It can be fatal for newborns.

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 13/07/2016 11:02

I've never had a cold sore in my life so don't see how I would pass one on to him.

grannytomine · 13/07/2016 11:07

TheWeeBabySeamus, more people have the virus without symptoms than with. You can shed the virus when you don't have cold sores and even if you never have them.

grannytomine · 13/07/2016 11:08

ArmySal, its a bit worrying that so many people get it genitally then, are many under 5s sexually active?

poaspcos · 13/07/2016 11:08

Cmv is completely symptomless in healthy adults usually yet causes severe disability or can be fatal in unborn babies

cmvaction.org.uk/pregnant-women

WeDoNotSow · 13/07/2016 11:10

I have it terribly as well granny.
Guarantee I'd always have a big one on school picture day!
I've had them all over my chin, up my nose, on my tongue and down my throat.
And I would never kiss my kids with an active sore, not even on their heads.

And I still think people make too big a deal out of them though. As I said, the vast majority of people have the virus, and if you live with someone chances are they'll have it too.

The majority of people with the virus don't get sores anyway.

Why would I avoid kissing my kids to not give them a virus that I have in the same house and something like 70-90 (depending on which source you go with, buts it's definitely more than half!) percent of people already have Confused

ArmySal · 13/07/2016 11:10

What the actual fuck, granny? Children get it from being kissed by an adult with it. Weird question.

grannytomine · 13/07/2016 11:12

Balleltgirlmum, I think they reckon than over 50% of adults have the virus, can't remember but I think it might even be higher than that. Some people never have an outbreak and some people just get one. Some people, like me, get 12 or more outbreaks a year. It makes me feel really ill, I get a temperature, swollen glands and general aches and pains. I now take tablets to prevent/reduce outbreaks, it is only in the last year when it has been controlled that I realise how much it has affected my life.

You can get the hespes virus on the mouth, genitals, fingers (herpetic whitlow) or more rarely on the body. The mouth and genitals doesn't have thick skin like the rest of the body so is more vulnerable, I think having a bit of damage on nails gives the virus a chance to cause a whitlow.

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