Things you have been bullied or ridiculed about

[Frenchboat]

My dc is starting school soon and has inherited my wild, curly hair. I'm worried she will be bullied like I was.

Having curls has made me feel ugly and ashamed all my life. I was called names and even had my hair yanked. I was called ugly. All because my hair didn't lie straight. I really hope things have moved on a dc won't go through the same thing.

So I guess I want to know what things you have been picked on about as a child or even now, as these things make you feel
Inferior, things can deeply hurt for years.How did you regain confidence?

A little for having big boobs but mostly for being clever/getting good grades. It wasn't anything major though, my elementary and secondary schools were both pretty nice, friendly, accepting places.

Being flat chested. Then I got pneumonia and was really ill for about 6 weeks. Went into hospital 5 feet tall and with a 30 inch chest wearing a vest, came out 5 foot 7 and with what was with hindsight probably a 32H. Except that size didn't exist in those days, so the little 'drapers' shop my mum took me to said I was a 38C, so I ended up with THE most hideous thing - I can still see it to this day, 40 years on. That bra then became the subject of further teasing.

Being 'posh' even though we were actually quite poor, but I didn't have a local accent.

'Swallowing a dictionary', because I read a lot and was really good at English.

My dad's job.

My name.

The way I danced - apparently I was like Pan's People (remember them, anyone?).

Bullied terribly in high school for being gay. Bad enough on its own, but I'm straight! Moved to a private school and of course those rumours followed me but there was zero bullying. I assume people either thought it was bollocks, just accepted me being gay or couldn't care either way.

Oh I also got bullied at university for having a slightly northern accent. This was in York it just so happened that most people there were southern. I was teased for my background which was nothing like what they thought. I was bullied by some of them for not having gone to private or grammar school.

I have sticky out ears and was teased about them. I still hate them. My kids all have them but they were never bullied about them, in fact no one has ever commented on their ears in school or out so don't worry. Fwiw my dd has fabulous curly hair and everyone raves about it.

Being ginger. No one was allowed to be my friend for years by the bullies. This was at my first primary. At my second and secondary school I was lucky and never bothered with. Ds starts school in September and my biggest fear is he'll get bullied like i was and no one will do anything about it.

My name
My face
My mother's job

For DH, being tall, wearing glasses, being clever.

Being flat chested then two years later for having huge boobs

Yes, this too. Bullies aren't exactly consistent.

I've noticed how many people were (like me) bullied for being 'ginger'.

This is the one feature that I have had negative/rude comments about from others in to adulthood. These have included the simple but effective 'oi, ginger' from strangers (this is apparently a very witty joke) and the equally inventive 'are you collars and cuffs then love' (ie do you have the same colour pubic hair). It's a few years since anyone has made these sort of comments to me (I now have the invisibility cloak of middle age and chubbiness) but I am frequently shocked at how lots of people seem to think it is socially acceptable (and just a statement of fact really) to make negative comments about red hair. Working in a very muti-racial, multi-ethnic office it was not uncommon to hear people use 'ginger' as a derogative term. I have also heard several expectant parents when asked what gender baby they would like reply 'don't mind as long as it's not ginger, ha ha' (including once at a mother and toddler group in front of me and a mother with a beautiful red haired baby). I also heard one mother asking a mother with a red haired child when it became obvious that her child was a ginger because she was worried that she'd seen some red tints in her DD's (blonde) hair and didn't know whether it could 'turn'.

Please tell me I'm just unfortunate and and live amongst unusually sensitive arseholes this is not normal.

I've always loved red hair, anyone who I see making comments about gingers tends to hear "I know, isn't it BEAUTIFUL!? I'm so jealous!"

(I was blonde as a child, brown now. My 3 kids are blonde at the moment...)

Maybe if we all responded like that to the anti-ginger comments they'd stop?

Having uncool trainers - HiTec when everyone else wore Nike Air. I dreaded drama lessons for this sole reason, as it was the one lesson in the week when everyone had to bring their own trainers.

At the time it really stung me because my parents were going through an awful time financially and my dad was turning to drink. They couldn't afford the expensive ones and my mum was just so chuffed to be able to buy me new trainers. She had no idea they weren't the 'right ones' and I didn't let on to her either.

I don't think it helped that I was quite clever. I ended up going to chess club to escape the people picking on me at break and lunchtime, only to get picked on more because I was going to chess club and was therefore also a nerd.

One day I snapped and thumped another girl who confronted me in the playground. The bullying stopped after that. I found a fantastic new friendship group and really enjoyed school after that.

I hate bullies and bullying with an absolute passion. The experience did make me stronger and more resilient though.

We moved from the South East to the South West when I was growing up. I got teased for being posh. A LOT. And then, because I didn't deal with it brilliantly, for anything else they could think of. It stopped bothering me years ago, but definitely still affects me.

Being fat (guilty as charged)
Being ugly (I'm not a 'looker' but definitely not as bad as they made me feel)
Being a boffin (I have a good degree now)
Using words they didn't understand (the degree largely involved using words)
Wearing glasses (still do, I like them)
Being gay (I'm not, but a friend was)
Being a goth (Also not, but another friend was)
Being a vegetarian in a farming area (yup, still am)

I enjoyed learning at school but pretty much hated the social side.

Btw bullying methods included:
Being spat at, hit, punched, kicked, food tipped over me, dog poo thrown at me, hair cut, glasses broke, bag stolen, social exclusion, lots of name calling, songs sung at me.

I hate bullies.

As a ginger person I don't mind being described as ginger (and as I said, it's never been said to me in a nasty way, but it's factually what colour my hair is and I think people should be allowed to say so). What I do mind a lot is people saying that calling someone ginger is nasty and you shouldn't say it. This has resulted in people telling me not to "put myself down" when I quite correctly describe myself as ginger, and people trying to describe me as all sorts of absurd things like "strawberry blonde" (have you ever seen a strawberry or a blonde that colour?) or auburn (which to me as much darker, almost brownish colour).

I'm ginger. Get over it.

Wornout- I utterly agree with your approach. Luckily so does my DH and lots of my friends.

Emmawoudlouse- Also agree. I don't mind my hair being called ginger- just mind it being said it as a derogatory thing. It is quite a close description of my hair colour- but I don't think the groups of lads shouting 'Ginger' at me and others at school meant it as a factual statement. I do think we should reclaim it though. The other day I heard some of the boys at DDs school shout 'ginger' at one of her (very gorgeous, but I know she doesn't realise it yet) friends on the way to school. They were clearly not meaning it pleasantly and she muttered something to them about being strawberry blonde actually. I was upset that she felt that her actual colour was something to be ashamed of. (Doubt the boys will pull that stunt again though as I'm afraid I did pretend to think they were talking to me and quite calmly asked them if there was something about my hair that they would like to discuss- seems a middle aged woman is a much less amusing target than a girl several years younger).

Only a ginger can call another ginger ginger.

If someone shouted "ginger" at me I would shout "yes?" I've always wished I had the nickname Ginger but have somehow never managed to get it to stick. Where I work (in a school) we had a ginger boy who didn't like being called ginger, so I told the person who was calling him it that he couldn't call anyone else that because it was my nickname first - but it wasn't...

Some really awful stories on here.

Mine isn't much better, though it did make me stronger so not as bad as it sounds . At school I was known as the "homie" as I lived in a Children's Home. Nobody bothered to ask why, so they assumed I was there because of something (naughty) I had done - I wasn't, it was because of something done to me.

It all came to a point when a teacher told me that parents of five girls in my class had contacted the school to say they didn't want their daughters being friends with someone who lived in a Children's Home. I contacted the parents directly and informed them why I was there - still wasn't allowed to be friends but it shut them up

Looking like an ostrich when I ran.

Mostly by boys that I was considerably faster than

I was bullied for being flat-chested, years have passed and it's only at the age 21 that I've finally accepted my body for what it is. I've been bullied about various other things. This thread goes to show the horrible and lasting effects bullying can have, it completely redefined the way I thought about myself and made me believe I was completely worthless for a very long time.

Being brown, being a swot, having a name that sounds like 'loner', my weird laugh (like a posh old lady), being too excitable, having a half-decent singing voice... I didn't have many friends

BUT! I have very curly hair and have never had anything but compliments on it my whole life

I got bullied for being:-

Too thin
Too pale
Too shy

Kids will find anything if they decide to pick on you

I was bullied for having blackheads by one girl, she sat talking to me and another girl saying things like 'Eurghh people with spots and blackheads are dirty, they don't wash properly and looking at them makes me feel sick. And hairy top lips, they look like a man' while laughing hard to herself.

She went on for some time and from what I remember neither me or the other girl said a word. It took me a few minutes to even realise she was talking about me, I was so naive back then. My skin still isn't great 30 years on & I'll be the first to admit I look awful without full slap so unless it's an emergency I don't leave the house without it.

I grew up in a small town and went to a comprehensive which had a real mix of rich and poor - no private day schools for miles. It is my opinion that there was a culture of bullying and intolerance embedded in the school.

I was bullied for being too thin, ugly, being from a council estate but on my estate I was too clever. Not clever enough in my 'friendship group' but A square to everyone else, being 'a lesbian ', not really being female, being flat chested, not having started my period when I had, standing up for myself, the clothes I wore, hair accessories that I wore, clothes I may have worn outside of school, embarrassing things my mum may have said when my friends were round my house, being against fox hunting. Every niggling little thing you can think of.

One time I wore mascara to school and a tiny dried bit fell onto my cheek. I got shit about that from my 'friends' for years. That's how petty it was. Standing Uo for myself made things so much worse.

I have to admit it has affected me deeply. I struggle to make and maintain friendships and Although I have got myself a good education - I have a rubbish dead end job and struggle with office oolitics. On the plus side , my romantic relationships have always been successful because I take absolutely no shit from boyfriends and have a wonderful husband . I worry so much that my son will struggle like I did . He's only ten months but I want him to be much more socially adept and confident than me.

I have to say I disagree with the received wisdom that bullies only do it because they're insecure. I reckon the vast majority of mine would do it again in s heartbeat and feel no remorse. Sadly as well, I know through the power of Facebook that they pretty much all have better jobs than me even if they stayed in the area and weren't particularly hardworking at school. The area I left has become a lot more wealthy in recent years and a lot of them have benefitted from that

I know I have to sort myself and be confident enough to make something of myself professionally, that is the only way I'll feel better about what has happened. I feel ashamed they I never blossomed or dug myself out of this because I've let them win.