to consider selling SIL's expensive bag?

[Ondasp]

So three years ago my SIL gave me an old bag of hers. It is a Falabella bag by Stella McCartney in medium size. I guess the bag was already a couple of years old when SIL gave it to me.

She did not specify whether it was a present or she was just lending it to me, but she hasn't mentioned the bag ever since. She has dozens of fantastic bags and shops very often, so I guess she simply forgot. Knowing her I also think she gave me that bag because she did not like it anymore as she is not exactly an altruistic person.

I don't really like this bag, I almost never used it and I am considering to sell it on Ebay. Since it is a designer bag it should still be worth quite a bit I think.

However I am terrified she may one day asks me about the bag, even though I think it is unlikely. I would be really embarassed to admit I sold it. At the same time it feels like a shame to have such a valuable bag sitting in a closet and never being used.

What would you do? Am I a really ungrateful bitch for thinking to sell it? Please go easy on me

OP why don't you get your dh to ask her if you find it awkward? Given what you are saying about your relationship with her, I really wouldn't just sell it, unless you want catbum face at the next family gatherings!

If you think checking with her might be really awkward then your not 100% she has give it to you.

I've seen loads of threads where people have lent new parents baby stuff then been offended when the new parents sold it on or give it away.

Ask her if she wants it back. It's simple. If she does give it her back. If not sell it. It's sneaky doing it your way

Do you have a cat? Say a cat peed on it....

"is it okay to sell it without raising the topic with her? If the answer is no, then I'd rather not sell it and forget about it".

If you think it is okay, then sell it. If you're not sure whether you think it is okay, that might be because a little piece of you thinks it is not ok.

If you think you'll be genuinely bothered by your conscience after you've sold it, don't do it. Better to forget it rather than have to feel guilty.
But if your conscience would be clear, I think it's very unlikely that SIL will in future interrogate you about the fate of the bag, or demand you produce it in evidence!
If she does mention it, could you respond with something grateful and very very vague?

If she said "Here have this" it sounds like a gift to me.

THAT is one fucking ugly bag.

I'm intrigued at the relationship. What did you say when she cast it off at you?

I don't think you think it's ok to sell it without asking her which is why you are asking Mumsnet. I don't understand why you can't text her. It's polite and I bet she will tell you to do what you like with it.

If she does that then think how lovely it will be to sell it with a clear conscience.

Out of interest, why on earth did you accept the bag if you didn't like it?

Is that the bag?! I thought it was the dustbag the actual bag came in!

Sell it, at once!

I really like it? Am I pissed?

That bag is awful. Give it back and ask if you can borrow a different one

I really like it? Am I pissed?
Clearly, you tasteless lush!

Not made out of real Falabellas I hope!!

Sheesh I hope not. Although you do see pony skin bags 😱

I have one of these but in a different (nicer) . colour - that photo does not do it any justice at all.

beezie nope, Stella McCartney does not use animal products in her collections. Her bags are made of a really great soft faux leather (I swear I'd think it was real leather if I did not know otherwise).

By what she said to you, the bag is yours. If I said 'here, have this' and randomly gave somebody something I wouldn't expect it back. Otherwise surely you would say 'here, borrow this'?

I'd contact her and say something like "Hi SIL, I've been decluttering my wardrobe and found this bag that I think is yours, do you want it back? Otherwise I was thinking of passing it onto someone else who would like it as I don't use it much"

That way you should be able to find out if she intended it as a gift or as a loan. And if she doesn't want it back, you can then sell it with a clear conscience. If you can't bring yourself to even ask something like that, then I'd hang onto it, as you don't sound sure whether SIL regards the bag as hers or not.

I've tried my hand at selling stuff on ebay; a big faff for very little return.

Dont mention selling, just ask her if the bag was meant for you to keep or not. If she says she wants it back then TG you didnt sell it, if she says keep it, you can do what you like with it

This bag will sell easily, but just double check that sil doesnt want it back. Just ask her. I know some don't like it, but I have this bag in pink faux snake skin. I would not usually buy a pink snake skin bag (Stella or not) but my best friend gave it to me as a present, and I've always accepted that she has much better taste than me, and she is one for lavish gifts and disapproving of my low budget look. I get lots of compliments about it, a surprising amount actually.
A pp has stated the cost so I've just had a quick look online

Not quite the same, but a friend once gave me something (a baby carrier i you must know) when my son was born, I assumed it was a gift and sold it after he'd grown out of it, she then got pregnant again and asked for it back.

I said I'd passed it on to a friend, but that I would find her a replacement from ebay (which I don't think I needed to, as she'd never specified it was only on loan).

I think if SIL has given it to you it's yours to do with what you want.

I am interested as to how someone you have a 'formal' relationship with just gave you a designer bag though. is she stinky rich?

maggie yes she is very wealthy by family and generally quite careless with money and possensions, so I wasn't too surprised when she handed me the bag. MIL does the same thing when she (frequently) grows tired of her own stuff, she just gifts it away.