to consider selling SIL's expensive bag?

[Ondasp]

So three years ago my SIL gave me an old bag of hers. It is a Falabella bag by Stella McCartney in medium size. I guess the bag was already a couple of years old when SIL gave it to me.

She did not specify whether it was a present or she was just lending it to me, but she hasn't mentioned the bag ever since. She has dozens of fantastic bags and shops very often, so I guess she simply forgot. Knowing her I also think she gave me that bag because she did not like it anymore as she is not exactly an altruistic person.

I don't really like this bag, I almost never used it and I am considering to sell it on Ebay. Since it is a designer bag it should still be worth quite a bit I think.

However I am terrified she may one day asks me about the bag, even though I think it is unlikely. I would be really embarassed to admit I sold it. At the same time it feels like a shame to have such a valuable bag sitting in a closet and never being used.

What would you do? Am I a really ungrateful bitch for thinking to sell it? Please go easy on me

If she said 'here have this' I old assume it was a gift, whihc leaves you free to seek it on eBay.
What does your DH think? Is his dsis likely toask for the bag more than 3 years later?

DH thinks she probably forgot and doesn't care about the bag itself but he reckons she would be massively offended if she found out I sold a present.

It doesn't matter if you have a 'formal' relationship or not, I think you should ask. I think it's yours but I still think you should ask. I think you know you should ask too.

PuckyMups suggested text is perfect.

OP have you cancelled the cheque yet?

Theft! My arse!

Exactly what Barbara said.

It looks like it was made by Dr Frankenstein. I say sell it. She gave it to you, so it is yours to do with as you wish.

BTW - what are the chances it's a replica bag?

I think it's a nice bag. I've only ever seen one in captivity (in Harvey Nicks.)

On a sensible note: as you can't contact her and aren't sociable with her I'd get rid of it any way you please. Sell it on ebay but make sure you are not identifiable by your seller name.

You are not a storage facility for her ugly tat

If you read any of the decluttering books (like Marie Kondo who is a goddess btw) they tell you not to keep things you don't like and don't use just because someone else gave it to you. It breeds resentment and makes your house full of things you don't want need or use.

Sell Sell Sell!

I wouldn't tell her I'd sold it. I would lie and say it was stolen from the back of your chair in a restaurant or something. No point in deliberately causing offense because at one point she did like it enough to pay good money for it.

I'm inclined to agree with your dh. It's a massively expensive bag. She did a nice thing, it's not her fault you don't appreciate it. If I were you I'd start using it. It might grow on you.

Have you a dd? She'd love it one day I bet.

It's definitely not tat

'Here, have this' is giving something surely?!

Flog it to someone with shocking taste and think no more of it.

If she just appeared with it and said "here have this" and then passed it to you, then she gave it to you.
If you put the missing words back into that sentence, accompanied by that action, surely she was saying "here is a bag, you can have this bag now." No?!
I have family members who shop a lot and buy a lot of stuff, not a big deal, they enjoy shopping and they can afford it. They occasionally offer me random stuff they no longer desire to keep. If I take it, is mine.
I don't think one can reasonably assert that the OP stole the bag. SIL gave it, the OP took it.
The moral problem is whether OP should financially profit from the bag when SIL does not... Maybe you could sell it and offer her half?!

I'd sell it and keep quiet!!

diddly no chances at all, DIL would never buy a replica. She has an amazing collection of really expensive and amazing bags and for some reason she decided to give me the only hideous one.

You have to carry it around by it's zip handle?

(Lovingly strokes £15 Debenhams bag).

I wouldn't tell her I'd sold it. I would lie and say it was stolen from the back of your chair in a restaurant or something

If you were happy with your course of action you wouldn't need to lie. I still don't see why you can't check out the situation in some of the ways suggested above.

The thing is, checking with her would be really awkward so I would be tempted to keep it sitting in the cupboard rather than asking her. So I guess my question is: is it okay to sell it without raising the topic with her? If the answer is no, then I'd rather not sell it and forget about it.

She's prob forgotten about it fcs sell the bag enjoy the money

Hope your Sil doesn't go on mumsnet OP, after all tis slightly identifying
I wouldn't sell it, without checking she doesn't want it back first, something along the lines of "hi SIL I'm decluttering, and selling shite on eBay/car boot, if you want that old bag back can you let me know by xxxx as if I don't get rid of stuff dh will take it to the tip"

Do you have an e-mail address or mobile no so you could contact her and send a message like: "Hi SIL, hope you are well. I'm just doing a sort out and found the Stella McCartney bag you gave me. Just wondered if you would like it back as I don't use it very much, if not, I know someone who would love it and I thought I could pass it on." See what she says. I would feel ok to sell it on if she says she doesn't want it back, you have made it clear you won't be keeping it. And I can't imagine she'd question who you 'passed it on' to (as in, if it's someone you actually know or not!).

It sounds to me like she gave it to you and it is now yours to do with as you wish.

You do not have to keep everything anyone gives you. Homes just aren't big enough to store all the stuff. Remember the kindness and then do with the item whatever suits you best.

They're going on eBay for anything from £50 - £400 - I hope yours is in good nick.

If she said here you go and handed it to you and that wasn't in respone to you saying I need a bag,haven't got a bag with me ect then she's given it to you to keep.