to consider selling SIL's expensive bag?

[Ondasp]

So three years ago my SIL gave me an old bag of hers. It is a Falabella bag by Stella McCartney in medium size. I guess the bag was already a couple of years old when SIL gave it to me.

She did not specify whether it was a present or she was just lending it to me, but she hasn't mentioned the bag ever since. She has dozens of fantastic bags and shops very often, so I guess she simply forgot. Knowing her I also think she gave me that bag because she did not like it anymore as she is not exactly an altruistic person.

I don't really like this bag, I almost never used it and I am considering to sell it on Ebay. Since it is a designer bag it should still be worth quite a bit I think.

However I am terrified she may one day asks me about the bag, even though I think it is unlikely. I would be really embarassed to admit I sold it. At the same time it feels like a shame to have such a valuable bag sitting in a closet and never being used.

What would you do? Am I a really ungrateful bitch for thinking to sell it? Please go easy on me

Just ask her if she wants it back

You could sell it and if she ever asks about it, you could say that you gave it to the charity shop and feign ignorance if she explodes and screams 'That was a £700 Stella McCartney bag you fool'?

Well you lot can all bugger off!

Seriously though, OP, you should ask.

Well aren't you a peach. Your sil is not an altruistic person. Yet she's the one who's let you have her expensive bag for the last couple of years. And you're the one hoping she's forgotten so you can make a profit. Do the decent thing and ask her if it's ok.

Just sell it. It's wasted just sitting in a cupboard. Someone could be getting some use out of it.

Just have a cast iron story in your head if she ever asks. "Oh, a woman spilt red wine all over it at a party. I took it to the cleaner but there was nothing they could do. It was completely destroyed."

Pretend a friend likes it and ask if you can 'pass it on'.

She gave it to you and hasn't mentioned it in 3 years so I'd say it's yours to do as you wish.

It is horrid, I reckon your sil thought so too hence passing it on to you.

If you sale it op do let us know what somebody paid for it

So quite a few people think that theft is ok, as is covering the theft up by lying?

Theft 😂 Really?

Of course it's theft. It isn't her property.

I'm also not really getting what is so bad about the bag. It's not horrible, it looks like a normal bag!

ilovesoothy I think in order for it to be theft I should have taken the bag from SIL against her consent which, as I explained, is not what happened at all. She gave it to me and never ever mentioned it again.

Theft I love it! Mumsnet you never disappoint

OP she hasn't mentioned it in 3 years. More than likely forwarded it to you because let's face it it's hideous. I say sell it

You described it in the thread title as her bag. If you think she won't mind you selling it on and keeping the cash you could inform her of your intentions.

No no no!! You can't sell something you don't know is really yours!

Next time you see her, just casually mention that you still have her bag and whether she wanted it back. You'll know where you stand from her answer then.

No, theft is treating someone else's property as if it's your own. If you sell something that someone has lent you, it's theft. Try it with a rental car and see if they are down with the idea that it's not stealing because you didn't take the car without their consent.

"Hi SIL, have been having a wardrobe down size and I've come across that lovely bag you gave me. I haven't used it in a long time, do you want it back? Hope you are well, me x"

Surely that ^ or similar is all you need to do?

It does sound like it's the OP's bag though. SIL didn't hand it over for use at a specific occasion or on the back of OP dropping any hints. She just randomly gave her a bag. A random gift is far less odd than randomly lending things to people unasked and for absolutely no reason.

She gave it to you. Yours to sell.

If you're close, I would say to her that you were re-organising your wardrobe and came across it, and she what she says to that. I wouldn't lead her on by asking if she wants it back, I bet she says something non-committal or has forgotten all about it, so then you can do what you want-I'd sell it, give some of the proceeds to charity (just to assuage the guilt a bit) and then if she ever brings it up again, say you donated it to a charity shop.

"Here have this" was all the rage in polite gift giving about 3 years ago - twas simply the only way to bestow your largesse, daaaaaaaaaaaahling.

So it is yours. Do what you like with it, sell it, burn it, chop it up just for fun.

And, even though ILS will be distraught at the idea , just shrug and mutter vaguely in the highly unlikely event she asks for it back!

It's lovely! I like it

Next time you are seeing her bring it with you and say "oh I have that bag you lent me to give back to you" if she wants it back she will take it if not she will say no its yours you keep it. Until you have tried to give it back or asked her (I don't understand when you say you can't ask her, even if you have a very formal relationship that sounds a bit far fetched) then you should definitely not just sell it. I think you know you should ask her but don't want to because you want to make a tidy profit and you are just hoping mumsnetters will ease your conscience a bit.

Anyone remember the astrakhan coat thread?

Practice saying 'What bag?'

Then sell it.