AIBU to think no fucking chance or do I need to be kinder to people?

[thisismeusernameything]

I'm prepared to be called a miserable cow and take my flaming if needed as I genuinly don't know if I am being a miserable self-important madam.

I got a friend request from a man I used to go to school with on Facebook. Our lives seem to have gone in very different directions. I've done well where as he seems not to have made much of his life (not stealth boasting, its relevant) I felt sorry for him so accepted but since then he's been tagging me in all kinds of shite about his dog, trips to bingo, meals out blah, blah. Its no big deal. I usually just untag myself and move on.

Today I get two tags from him. One to say that he is out for a meal with his wife, why the fuck he things I would give a shit I do not know and a second with a link to a justgiving site asking for a contribution to a new wheelchair for his wife (I believe she has Cerebral Palsy but from what I've seen its very mild form if there is even such a thing).

From what I can gather this man doesn't work, spends what money they get on whatever they want to do (no judgement. Its his money) but then expects me to put my hand in my pocket to provide things that I would have to save up for. AIBU to expect him not to be out at bloody lunch and to be saving up for things that they need or am I being a miserable bitch?

Its really pissed me off so I blocked him but now feel bad. I'm working my ass off to pay the £17k stamp duty the twat of a tax man wants for the stamp duty on the falling down pile of buildings I'm in the process of buying so my judgement is all over the place.

Who is BU? Should I have given him some cash or should I expect him to stop eating out every other bloody day and fund it himself?

Tbh I would be wondering if he had added me to Facebook just because I had done well and I defy one person on here not to get irritated if some random from their past was tagging them in any old thing and then a crowdfunder thing.

I hate crowdfunding with a passion anyway though especially as it usually floods your feed on a daily basis.

just unfriend him?

how hard is it?

You need to change your settings so that if you are tagged you have to accept the tag for it to show.

or unfriend him?

You're entertaining the elderly you mean? Or the old people? Bet they can't wait!

In fairness afterthestorm she's entertained me for 5 minutes

YANBU

just defriend, forget and move.

Ignore the bitter replies to your stamp duty comment. If people can't understand how frustrating it is to work your ass off for seeing nearly half your income go into taxes, then pay VAT, then pay local taxes, then pay stamp duty and be left with peanuts... well they can't be working that hard themselves or they would get it. They should be grateful that at least someone is paying tax.

Well I'm with you OP, why should other people fund his wife's wheelchair when he is eating out every other day.

well they can't be working that hard themselves or they would get it. They should be grateful that at least someone is paying tax.

Jesus, aren't you a fucking charmer!

The op is moaning about something she can easily ignore. No need to bemoan paying tax, it has nothing to do with any of it. No, it's not nice to be asked for money, but a lot of this is based on a huge assumption she is seen as some amazing 'done-well' person who's now being personally hounded for money. It could have been easily ignored, without a second thought.

Enough! Ignore ignore ignore do not encourage any further discussion. Please

Bon

If you are scraping together £17k for stamp duty, that means you are buying property worth over half a million.

But you scoff at someone trying to afford a powered wheelchair for their disabled wife.

Ive heard it all now.

did you mean £17,000 on stamp duty? or was that a deposit?

No it doesn't necessarily nowwhat, not if its a second property, say for an investment.

Not that the op should feel like she has to give money to anyone or everyone who tags her on Facebook even if she is financially able.

Grow up and defriend him!!

I just found it a bit weird and overwhelming. I've deleted. blocked and moved on

Doesn't sound like you have moved on.
Its not difficult. Someone pisses you off on facebook, they are not important to you, so you delete them. Easy. No dilemma.

If you are scraping together £17k for stamp duty, that means you are buying property worth over half a million.

But you scoff at someone trying to afford a powered wheelchair for their disabled wife.

That someone who is going out to restaurants every other day, which can't be cheap, and added up over a year he could probably afford the wheelchair himself.

Perhaps going for meals is a source of enjoyment for his disabled wife ffs.

Should disabled people live on the bread line when they are less able to engage in many activities given they need a wheelchair in the first place?

What's his name op...post the link I'll donate to him

No OP, YANBU, it's weird that he tags only you in his posts. And asking for crowd-funding having just eaten out without some sort of explanation of either/or/both - does seem a bit short-sighted.

My electric wheelchair cost £6k. My NHS wheelchair service have a policy for electric chairs - if you can walk one step, you can't have one. I can walk a Coke of steps in pain. Doesn't get me very far! I can't use a manual either.

I was lucky enough to find another source of funding for mine - but when it goes, that's it.

£6k is probably equal to what I get a year to live on. How am I meant to save that? So yes, I can understand why he's using this route, because not eating out a few meals isn't going to pay for a wheelchair.

I think this is very strange.
It is highly unlikely a Jehovah's witness would link to things for his 'church' on Facebook.
For a start J W 's do not worship in a church & their faith would prevent them from' begging' like that.
Additionally their Hall (and fellow witnesses) would help privately in his situation.
Something isn't right with this.

You're coming across as aggressive and ranty.

Have you been getting enough sleep recently?

Same glitter. Luckily (debatable) I got one for £1k in a sale, which wasn't ideal for my needs but I was desperate. But now at a year old it has stopped working and I am pretty much stuck in the house again.

Buy cheap, buy twice!!

Just unfriend him. No drama.

Well he doesnt seem to understand how facebook works, YANBU to be irritated by constant tagging in stuff that youh avent taken part in! I would block him for that alone.

Buying a house and paying all the additional costs is a lot, and I know you will probably say that you worked hard for that, which Im sure you did. But equally you are probably quite lucky that you are in good enough health to be able to work, and you probably haven't been on the breadline so dont understand how mind numbingly boring and stressful it is. You say he doesnt work, but do you know why? It might not be a choice, he might be posting everything on FB as a way of giving his life some sort of meaning in the absece of a job. He may have applied for hundreds of jobs and got none of them because there is always someone better qualified than him. He might not have been able to get flexible working hours. It might have left them financially worse off.

However, having said all that, it would annoy me if somebody wanted or needed domething, but wasnt prepared to do anything for it htemselves. It's one thing to say a wheelchair costs 6000, I've saved 500 (or even 50) but my wife's condition is declining so we need it sooner rather than later. Please could you help make up the shortfall. Is it the tone of it that is annoying you?